Since I'm at it - one more wart

Electricity suppliers (especially their billing, field & financial services manager) who write serial letters complaining that they do not have access to our meter & that they first notified me of this in April last year, and we'll have to arrange a special visit which they will charge us for.

And so my response will be along the lines of:

Dear power supplier (their letter is addressed to "Dear Customer")

If you're not using the key that I sent you last April, which your contact centre acknowledged the receipt of by telephone at the time, then please return it, or we will be billing you for changing all the very expensive locks (3) accessed by that key.

Furthermore, at some stage this year we will be moving the electricity meter outside, at this stage we most definitely will require the return of our key, so I do hope you've taken very good care of it. Until this time, if you continue to show reluctance to actually use our key, I will endeavour to take the metre reading myself & leave it on a post-it note on the front door. If any special visits are required, they will be at your expense not ours.

Yours


Customer.