Discord & Rhyme

I’ve always thought it odd that of all the wonderful aspects of Japanese culture (Noh theatre, kabuki, origami, Beat Takeshi, Akira Kurosawa samurai films et al)… We in the West seem to have adopted sushi (wet cardboard wrapped in seaweed), and karaoke. Karaoke, is of course, Singstar without pictures...

And what is karaoke/singstar without a good helping of Duran Duran?

Yikes! Someone found out the hard way.

Ms Lisa at Ratpony

YouTube - Hungry Like the Wolf

Is the war lost then?

I got two "invites" to some corporate events today. I wish I could say I got two "invitations". But that's not what they sent apparently.

And then I read this!

"Because it's invite-only, Foo Camp can be - and is - accused of being a clique"

and this!

"The thing to do is count yourself deeply lucky for scoring an invite and get on with it"

Public Address | Hard News - Foo Report

So is it all over then? "invite" is now a noun?

I saw V for Vendetta in the weekend. Great film. Terrific.

Who's willing to join me in the resistance then? I for Invitation!

At least he didn't say "cunt".

Some interesting musings on the inexplicability of the American film classification system: what gets a PG rating & what gets an R (one "fuck" gets the former, 2 gets the latter.)

Berardinelli used the word (not for the first time I'm sure) a little while back on his site & had some prudish readers complain. He's really gone to town this time.

ReelViews: James Berardinelli's Reel Thoughts

I remember the first time I said "fuck" in front of my mum. I'd have been about 15, we were both in the kitchen, she asked me what I & my friends had got up to the evening before.

I started off saying "Oh, we were just fooling around", but half way through I decided to say "mucking around" instead. A tongue twister ensued.

There was a moment's silence as we both realised what I'd said. Then she burst out laughing & said "you didn't mean to say that did you?"

I also remember the first time I heard my mum use the word, I was probably in my 30s by then.

Labour spending 'stole election' - Brash

Sweet Jesus, if we're going to have a new election, can we have some new politicians?

Labour spending 'stole election' - Brash

Brash calls for Clark to resign & call a new election.

Mouahahah! - TONI'S TAKE

Heh heh... Toni Tennille (of the Captain & Tennille fame) has a blog.

TONI'S TAKE - BLOG PAGE

Ok... I'll get off the topic of "soft pop" soon.

But not before major tributes to The Carpenters (very scary photo at end of link), and possibly Sir Cliff Richard!

No. I lie.

BTW - in soft-pop meets famous-last-words-news... are you aware that Chicago guitarist Terry Kath's last words were "Don't worry it's not loaded"?

Baby what a big surprise!

We know it's not the keys....

Sometime last year, the remote key, car unlocker things (by all means someone tell me what they’re called so that I can forget it before I next need to describe them) for our car stopped working. Both of them at the same time. I thought to myself “It’s not the keys then!”.

So I called the place that not only services our car, but specialises in its type. I explained the problem. “Probably the keys”, they said, “the batteries will be dead.” I explained that it probably wasn’t the keys, and why, and mentioned that the little indicator lights were working on them, so the batteries weren’t dead.

They were sceptical. I arranged to take the car in.

I dropped it off in the morning, they said it’d be fixed by lunchtime.

When I called later, they said they were still working on it & could I drop by nearer 5pm.

I dropped by at 5pm.

A man greeted me, he led me to the car, and apologised because the problem wasn’t fixed. He brightly observed that they’d made some progress though “We know it’s not the keys.”

They weren’t able to continue working on it because a part needed to be sourced. I’d need to bring it back in & leave it for a day or two.

Some months passed. I finally made a time to take the car back in & get the keys fixed. That time was yesterday.

I explained the problem again, cheerily noting that they should check their service records for whatever it was they did or didn’t do last time.

I rang them at 4pm & asked how it was going. “It’ll be another hour at least”, they said, “but it WILL be finished today.”

I swung by at 5.30pm. The car was parked outside, presumably fixed. A woman greeted me, she said, “Unfortunately, the car isn’t finished yet. But we have made some progress… we know it’s not the keys.”

A stern lecture ensued.

The One with the Huge Groodies

While we’re on the subject of crap music from the distant past…

Let’s all take a moment to wallow self-indulgently in our memories of the song, although more particularly the video of, Baby It’s You, by Promises. This featured a live performance by the band, who were fronted… yes, fronted… by an attractive woman wearing tight pants, a top, and braces. And those braces were sorely challenged by the local topography (refer also to your memories, if you were there, of Mandy Cunningham’s campaign speech in the Student Union Bldg in the early 80s, during her effort to become Women’s Vice President of VUWSA. She romped in. Mandy, if you get this message, put those braces on Trademe & I will bid.), so that years later, sitting in a pub with friends, struggling to remember this song, a lightbulb went on in the head of a mate’s bubbly girlfriend & she suddenly interjected, with a ready laugh & the volume switched up to 11… “You mean the one with the HUGE groodies!!”.

And we did, and I believe the word was coined by Anthony Burgess for Clockwork Orange. And you get the drift.

I’ve looked, I can find few references to this song, no pictures of the lead singer & really, it deserves its spot on YouTube. Find it & I will post it!

Which brings me to a band called Picketywitch. I have no recollection of the song, but they were fronted (not quite so outstandlingly as Promises) by a very attractive blonde woman. If you saw the video of their sole hit, you would remember it. I know that because a few years ago, I saw the video & I remembered it.

I saw the clip on a Channel 4 game show, whose name I cannot recall either. But it was along the lines of Game of Two Halves, except it was about music, not sport. The teams were made up of various well known & not so well known musicians & music journalists. And there were silly questions & shenanigans. Rick Wakeman from the band Yes was the indisputable star, 50ish physically, 11ish mentally. He was hilarious. And the other team members would publicly sympathise with his wife & family for what they probably had to put up with.

Anyway, in one segment in each show, they’d show an old clip of some one hit wonder – for instance, Picketywitch – and then they’d bring a dozen or so people who resembled each other closely, out on stage, and the teams would have to identify which of these now significantly (in most cases) older people were once the one hit wonder…

And the night they showed Picketywitch, fronted by that very nice looking blonde person, they wheeled a dozen or so older, but for the most part still very attractive blonde persons out on stage…

And when it came to Wakeman’s turn, he guffawed, announced to all of Britain that he remembered Picketywitch well “…and in fact, we shared a gig with them, and I remember in the hotel afterwards… in Cardiff…”

And at this stage even I knew which attractive blonde person used to be in Picketywitch – she was the one who’d just turned the colour of beetroot.

But it didn’t stop there, Wakeman was out of his seat, telling the dozen or so candidates to turn around, then cupping the cheeks of the beetroot one, turned back to the nation & crowed triumphantly… “I knew it! I NEVER forget an ARSE!!” Truly, he was a class act.

One of the other team members asked him “How old are your kids now Rick? You know that if they’re not old enough to leave home yet, they’ll be wishing they were?”

So.. YouTubers… the challenge is set.

Dare I also mention Afternoon Delight by the Starland Vocal Band? America? Bread? WTF was it with the 70s & Soft Pop anyway?

UPDATE!!

The same esteemed reader has noted that two Ts make all the difference... I give you Polly Browne of Pickettywitch!

Further Update!

Actually, it's an earlier update that I didn't post. Here is Ms Groodies herself.

Another reason to hate singstar

Like many songs I've heard over & over again through the years... I've never known what the actual lyrics were.

Now, thanks to the Evil Singstar (TM), I do know what they are, but I feel there is no-one on earth, not even Simon le Bon, who could tellus WTF they mean.

Duran Duran - Hungry Like The Wolf

Dark in the city, night is a wire
Steam in the subway, earth is a fire
Do-do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do
Woman you want me, give me a sign
And catch my breathing even closer behind
Do-do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do

In touch with the ground
Im on the hunt Im after you
Smell like I sound, Im lost in a crowd
And Im hungry like the wolf
Straddle the line, in discord and rhyme
Im on the hunt Im after you
Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And Im hungry like the wolf

Stalked in the forest, too close to hide
Ill be upon you by the moonlight side
Do-do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do
High blood drumming ony our skin its so tight
You feel my heart, Im just a moment behind
Do-do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do

In touch with the ground
Im on the hunt Im after you
Scent and a sound, Im lost and Im found
And Im hungry like the wolf
Strut on a line, its discord and rhyme
I howl and I whine Im after you
Mouth is alive all running inside
And Im hungry like the wolf

-

(hungry like the wolf
Hungry like the wolf
Hungry like the wolf)

Burning the ground I break from the crowd
Im on the hunt Im after you
I smell like I sound, Im lost and Im found
And Im hungry like the wolf
Strut on a line, its discord and rhyme
Im on the hunt Im after you
Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And Im hungry like the wolf

Burning the ground I break from the crowd
Im on the hunt Im after you
Scent and a sound, Im lost and Im found
And Im hungry like the wolf

Strut on a line, its discord and rhyme
I howl and I whine Im after you
Mouth is alive all running inside
And Im hungry like the wolf...

Update! An (the) esteemed reader has already (just about before I posted it even) suggested that the song means he wants to give her his Simon le Bone.

Which is a fair point, and pretty obvious from the video. But aside from a few cryptic clues, could you tell as much from just the lyrics?

BTW: I can assure you that you do not want to have to perform this on the Evil Singstar (TM).

And now... I'm going to open myself to the (probably righteous) scorn of my readers who know more about music than me - which would pretty much be all of you. Except for the one guy I know who thinks Muskrat Love is the apex of American music.

Not even the version by America. Although I'll go out on a limb & say that I while I thought the Captain was pretty damned weird, and I hated everything they did, I thought Tenille was pretty hot. At the time. OK?

Now, that wasn't even what I meant to say, that was an after thought. technically a fore thought.

But has anyone else seen the new Christina Aguilera video (as usual, I have no idea what the song is, nor will I know the lyrics until I am subjected to them on Singstar in about 20 years time) and thought that Aguiera is pretty much everything that Mariah Carey thinks she (Carey) is?

The Badass 100

Compiled by the incomparable OutlawVern, voted on by an elite, international team of Badass Film Fans.

2006 Revised Badass 100

"Finally, a politician you want to be screwed by..."

Well... not really, if the photo is accurate. However, she does appear to be a character.

"As you can see I'm dressed more seriously. I've got brown in my hair because brunettes are taken more seriously."

Asked if she was thinner since the last campaign, she replied, ""Thank you. Smoking cigarettes and quitting birth control."

And responding to a question as to whether her campaign manager & husband-to-be was being paid, "Um... in sex".

Porn star challenges Arnie

Births & Deaths

A thought provoking letter in today's DomPost. I can't imagine how I didn't notice it myself!

Why I am very worried

I have this nagging concern. Every morning when I read The Dominion Post, my concern is reinforced. It won't go away.

I have noticed that deaths greatly outnumber births. I kept count over several months and I found that deaths outnumber births by a factor of 6:1. It would be greater but for the surge of births that occur each weekend.

I have noticed a similar trend in my local paper & assume that it's a national phenomenon.

Since I am totally bereft of all mathematical ability, I shall let those suitably endowed do the maths. My gut feeling is that by about the year 2087, New Zealand's population should be zero.

By then I'll be part of that statistic but this nagging concern recognises the possibility of great-grandchildren. Do you suppose it has anything to do with a drop in beer consumption? Or should we be eating more lamb?

I'm very worried.

Derek Quilliam, Clive.

Sunsets, fog & other recent photos.

How was Dr Who last night?

I've decided to experience TV vicariously. Actually, it's because I always forget to tape the shows that I'd like to see. Ironically, I manage to remember (must be the constant nagging) to tape the dross that other family members want to see.

So. I am completely up to date with the angst & shenanigans (that'd be a great name for a rock band don't you think?) that is Gray's Anatomy.

But I completely forgot to tape the last two episodes of Dr Who. I was interested to see how they handled bringing back the K9 character, since that object was one of the reasons I stopped watching the show back when Jon Pertwee was the Dr. That, and shifting countries & finding out I had no fecking idea what was going on anymore - Time Lord? What's THAT shit!? And I hated Tom whatisface who came next.

Anyway... K9 was pretty lame, is he/it still?

And then last night, correct me if I'm wrong, the cybermen reappeared. Those guys used to completely shit me. Looking back at photos now, from the Patrick Troughton days (now THERE was a Dr Who!), I have to say they looked even lamer than K9, silver suits with what was that? - a kettle on their heads? I tell you, if it came to a stoush between them & the Borg, I think the Borg might die laughing. Anyway, just shows that since they completely paralysed me with fear & suspense, there was more to it than the cheap costuming.

So how'd they go? Anyone, anyone?

It's not my bag, baby! | the wellingtonista

Does anyone know this shoplifter?

It's not my bag, baby! | the wellingtonista

Hudson injured in pole-dancing mishap

I don't know why... it's just one of those headlines that catches the eye. And imagination.

You don't hear of many pole dancing mishaps do you? Or maybe you do.

Hudson injured in pole-dancing mishap

Latest Animal Control News...

I'm walking around in the darkness...

Two figures swim out of the blackness towards me. I say "Animal control?"

We chat. They are polite. Somehow they know my name... They tell me that several people have been ticketed. No-one I know anyway. They also tell me that the complaints sparking this action came from the gardeners, who told them there is a "huge problem" with dog poo & uncontrolled dogs. They give me the impression they think that might be an exaggeration. I'm on the verge of asking them how long they intend to keep the patrols up...

Another figure swims out of the darkness, attached to a small, black dog. He obviously sees three figures in the gloom, and an indeterminate number of dogs in attendance.

He shouts: "No Gestapo tonight then?"

I nearly fall over laughing. Realising that my moment for gleaning intelligence is lost, I answer: "...Yes. There are."

GIVE UP GIBSON OR WE BOMB AUSTRALIA SAYS ISRAELI PM

Hee hee!

Kiwi Herald: GIVE UP GIBSON OR WE BOMB AUSTRALIA SAYS ISRAELI PM

Although the pedant in me has to point out that Gibbo (Mello?) is about as Australian as Sam Neill is Kiwi. Ie, not really (Gibbo is American by birth, Neill is English).

That sorted, I should point out that Russell Crowe IS actually Australian, because we gratefully gifted him to that nation as revenge for the underarm bowling incident. Good luck guys!

Back to topic... Also, Gibbo is 4 feet shorter than Osama.

Hat tip to KiwiHerald. Good work fellas!

When is Mad Max 4 coming out anyway?

Sharks in the Park.

Jungle warfare. Guerrilla tactics. Subterfuge & camouflage. The age old game between hunters & their quarry. And their dogs.

The sharks are in the park! The Man! Smokey! Fuzz! Pigs! Beeeeaaaarrrrr! In their big vans & utes with lights & fluoro signs along the bodywork. “WCC Animal Control”.

Covert flashlight signals & secret passwords at night. “ALL CLEAR!” and later “INCOMING!” And scatterings through the bush.

The buggers are learning though, park the van someplace conspicuous, then send scouts on foot…

I don’t know what happened to the unspoken agreement between the council & locals, that white, middle-class residents have carte blanche to treat the Wgtn Botanic Gardens as their back yards. Free to let their dogs roam ahead or lag well behind, harass tourists, chase birds, fight other dogs, and shit on the paths.

Oh wait, actually I do know… there never was such an agreement. That didn’t stop one chap, who should know better, from sternly telling a dog ranger that “The council has said that they turn a blind eye to dogs off leads here!”. Heh! As if. The council employed dog ranger didn’t appear to know that. Or if he did, he wasn’t letting on. I didn’t know that either, although I’ve heard it optimistically said that that is the case, but not by the council, so it really doesn’t count.

So far, to my knowledge, all that’s been handed out are warnings, which to be honest, I think is rather sporting of them. For the record, Wilma has not received a warning. Because we are responsible dog owners. And we haven’t yet been caught.

A lot more dogs attached to their owners by leads these days though.