Monday, November 09, 2009

Was Sobran based on me?

I think a while ago I read or heard someplace that the Kapiti Coast author Linda Niccol was heartily sick of people approaching her & saying "You know so-and-so, from your short story Thingamibob? Was she by any chance based on my great aunt Mildred who lives down the road from you?"

At the time, I thought this was a bit precious, if it were me I'd be grateful anyone had read the story at all.

So anyway, I was at an old mate's 50th recently, and who should be there? I bounded over:

"Hey Linda"

"Hey Llew"

"Hey Linda, you know the fireman character in your story the Waterbores?"

"Yes", she said suspiciously.

"Of course you do, heh. Anyway, I was wondering if he was based on my brother-in-law Richard who lives down the road from you."

"No." (Very curtly.)

I'd have followed up with small talk, or possibly even confessed I did it on purpose (although I had always wondered), but across the room, who should I spot but Elizabeth Knox, and I was suddenly curious to find out if the angel Xas was based on Bill Manhire.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

The Ballad of Rodney (and Yoko)

Standing in the airport in Auckland,
Trying to get to London first class
The man from the press said, you'll make such a mess
We'll let you off if you will give us a dance.

Christ you know it aint easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're going to crucify me.

Finally made the plane into London,
Shacked up in a 5 star hotel
The PM called to say
You can make it o.k.,
If you both move to a fleapit motel

Christ you know it aint easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're going to crucify me.

Flew from London to the Toronto Hilton,
Just been in our bed for a week.
The newspapers said, say what you doing in there?
I said, We're only trying to make our ends meet.

Christ you know it aint easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're going to crucify me.

Spending up your money on a holiday,
Business class hilarity.
Last night the squeeze said,
Oh boy, when all's said
You'll put those seven hundred
On the dole - SHIT!

Made a lightning trip to Los Angeles,
Drinking protein shake from a boot
The newspapers said, she's gone to his head,
He looks like a baked bean in a suit.

Christ you know it aint easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're going to crucify me.

Caught a recent plane into to Christchurch.
Told some folk the PM's a sloth
The men from the press said, we got to report this,
And now I get to face JK's wrath!

Christ you know it aint easy,
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are going
They're going to crucify me.
The way things are going
They're going to crucify me.