Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Memorable Quotes | GREYS ANATOMY | TV2 |

Memorable quotes - Grey's Anatomy. An oxymoron?

Anyway, I went looking for more Dancing with the Stars contestants & somehow found this.

Memorable Quotes | GREYS ANATOMY | TV2 |

And I'm going out on a limb here - Grey's Anatomy is really lame! LAME! And boring.

Let's reflect:

Was it ever good?

I don't think so.

Would civilisation end if we never heard any actor in a white coat referred to as McSteamy, McDreamy, McSomething, McStupid, or McUnshaven?

I don't think so.

Will it get better?

I don't think so.

Are spinoffs in the wind?

I think so. Look out for (stretches to remember characters' names)... oh who cares? they'll be all over your TV before you know it.

Would TV2 stop screening it mid season like they did the Sopranos?

Like fuck they would. Another reason to hate it.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Trying to figure out what's different...

Two images of Wilma - I think moving to the new blogger (whatever that was all about) has restored the profile picture of Wilma that was lost ages ago - presumably we've lost Younger Brother as an author, but he wasn't posting much anyway.


It's hard to be stri-icken...

With the lips of a chi-icken....

BTW - I am so sick of that Hinder song. And there really should be more words that rhyme with "chicken".

Random blog-this link takes you to a mathematical equation. YOWEE! Exciting eh?

A good attempt when you don't know the answer (David Farrar)

Hooked on Avacadoes

“It’s home-made of course”, Reg said as he extracted a long, long pole, on the end of which was a neat hook, just like a boathook.

“It’s just like a boathook” he confirmed “Except it’s an avacado hook.”

He was demonstrating how to get some of the hundreds of avacadoes that hung from the top branches of a mature avacado tree. A week earlier, when no one was looking, I sent a couple of 14 year olds up into that tree, with instructions to get us a couple to sample.

10 minutes later, when I returned to see how they were going, I came upon a carpet of avacadoes.

“Too many! How are you going to get them past the estate agent to the car?” The kids looked dismayed. I told them where the guy was & instructed them to skirt around the other way, through the bushes, and to the car. Then I walked in the opposite direction to see where the guy had got to.

He was right where I sent the kids. Figuring they were resourceful, I abandoned them.

Later, we counted the 4 dozen good sized fruit they’d somehow sneaked away with. They’re ripening up nicely.

One week later, we were back, getting a salutary lesson in how to get the fruit down, without climbing the tree.

Reg took up position outside the stables, under the avacado tree.

“On the lawn Reg, on the lawn…” advised his wife. Reg paid no attention.

As Reg reached up with his pole & hook, Mrs Llew asked Mrs Reg “Do you catch them?”

Mrs Reg said “No, I usually do it from the other side on the lawn.”

The hook caught a nice plump fruit, Reg beamed and said “You just give it a sharp yank.”

The avacado came free & headed like a smart bomb for Reg’s forehead. He went down like the proverbial tonne of bricks, his glasses askew.

“Oh shit!” I said.

“Don’t bruise it!” Mrs Llew wanted to say, but managed not to. Looking at M beside us, she added “That’s your job in future.”

M dryly replied, “If you get me a crash helmet.”

Mrs Reg had the final word, “You can tell he doesn’t do this very often.”

Reg straightened his glasses, composed himself & handed the freshly picked avacado to Mrs Llew.

We giggled for ages – later that is - at the time no-one wanted to guffaw in case Reg really was hurt. He wasn’t.

Monday, February 26, 2007

The Entertainment News Everyone's Been Waiting For!

So who have we got?

Paul Holmes,
Suzanne Paul
Michael Laws
Greer Robsn
April Ieremia
Brendan Pongia (who?)


There must be more than that though - is it 8 to start with? No politicians so far. I guess Blumsky's the only likely one to volunteer... but he's probably not quite a "star". Although, heh, are the others?

Only one sporto, and no current Shortie Street actors either (Robson was on it for a while though was she not?).

Look who's dancing with the stars

Friday, February 23, 2007

Nuts, nuts, nuts.

Any man walking along the street carrying flowers gets a lot of attention. Women smile, and sometimes mouth a silent "Awww..." Men smirk.

I don't care though, I'm getting laid tonight!

And as I strode proudly & manfully toward my destination I suddenly saw one word sprayed 3 times on the pavement:

"Nuts, nuts, nuts.

And that is a sign, because today, in fact, approximately 5 minutes before this auspicious sighting, I had had a call from a man with glad tidings.

"It was sticky, but you've got it!"

He was referring to our latest property purchase. I haven't time this week, but next week I'll be getting my new business cards printed:

"Blogger, Broker (Arms), One-Dimensional-Collectivist-Fuckwit, Orchardist"

Well to be honest, what we did today was go unconditional - this gives us approximately one month now, to win lotto.

Easy eh?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Practise, practise, practise*

“Oh shit! It’s 20 past 7!”

With those cheery words, I greeted the day. I was supposed to be up at 6.30am, although somehow my alarm was switched off…

Y’see, I drew the short straw to transport a couple of kids to an inter-school triathlon, I had the swimmer & runner for a team event, the rider was arriving under her own stream. All had to be at Scorching Bay from around 8.45.

I showered, dressed, woke up the swimmer & got her moving, waved bye bye to the dog & wife heading out for a walk, then received stern instructions to the effect that I should still be there when she got back so that good luck wishes could be conveyed… I busied myself putting the recycling out.

Then, 15 minutes late, having greeted dog & wife home, checked the list of things the swimmer needed… we were off! First it was round to the runner’s place, where we also picked up an extra & drove her to her pickup point up the road. And then we entered the borderline gridlock that constitutes traffic crossing from one side of the city to the other… and we listened to borderline music suitable only for teenagers…

And that reminds me to set off on a quick tangent & tell you what one of the 3 van drivers to a rowing regatta in Cambridge told us:

“The drive is OK, the girls are all really nice, no problem there… it’s their music that is the problem… it turns a tedious drive into an insufferable life sentence. You don’t want to listen to their music.”

And back on topic…

The girls talked about the upcoming event, and both expressed nervousness because they haven’t practised in the slightest for months, although both have been kept fit by other sports.

The cyclist also hadn’t practised in the slightest in living memory, but hey, it’s all about competing right?

They came third. Next year, they’ll train.

* I have no idea if I have used the right form of "practise". Never have known which is which, or if I ever have, I forgot it 5 minutes later... Just as well it wasn't covered when I did this test.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Field to back Govt as independent

Taito Phillip Field gets some press conference tips from Julia RobertsI'm only doing this to beat David Farrar to the draw. But should you have been concerned about the prospects for the current regime... seems they live again!

Field to back Govt as independent -

'Catwoman' robs Taranaki bank -

'Catwoman' robs Taranaki bank - New Zealand news on

It's hard to tell, but it looks like she might be cute - I predict a stellar media career on her release from prison, a stint on a couple of Treasure Islands perhaps, a fling with Ridgey, y'know, the usual.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Great Minds

Had several occasions recently where in hindsight, I have realised that everyone in the room had the same thought as me, but for various reasons, no one said a word.

1. Mrs Llew & I were being shown a macadamia drying room. It was a medium sized room furnished with several rods mounted from wall to wall, from which hung string sacks of drying macadamia nuts. There was a serious looking dehumidifier in the corner.

And did I mention the entire room, walls, ceiling, was lined with tin foil?

Hours later, Mrs Llew mentioned "Didn't you think that was the perfect room for growing cannabis?"

And I did. Not that I would know of course.

2. Sat in on a committee meeting discussing fundraising. Let's say for the sake of argument, that this was fundraising for a dragon boating team...

One person was adamant that we needed to get a calendar shot & printed, of the boys, with their shirts off.

I countered "Um... it's February, are you talking a 2007 or 2008 calendar?"

The calendar champion was not to be deterred - "Can you think of ANYTHING that would sell better than a calendar with pictures of the boys with their shirts off?"

There was a conspicuous silence, during which I, and as I discovered later, pretty much every other person in the room, thought to themselves - "Yes, a calendar with pictures of the girls with their shirts off..."

But wimps that we are, and seeing as we're talking about school teams here, I think everyone decided it'd be way to icky to mention it.

That's what blogs are for.

2005 calendars should be off the presses soon. We ended up deciding that the calendar should be of the parents with their shirts off*. Mine's September, ensure you're wearing sunglasses. Get in early to avoid disappointment.

Today's random "BlogThis" site takes you to where the gloves come off, where the blood boils, where the air is thin, where the ears are thick... etc. My money's on Welly_Girl BTW.

Blogger Bash - How about it? Whale Oil Beef Hooked

* I have recounted this story once before by email, and in one of those weird occasions where the world was in tune with itself (does that make sense?) I clicked "Send" to the recipient, just as an email arrived from him with the news that he'd just been photographed with his shirt off for the Listener.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

That skydiver who survived...

Hat tip to the Spareroom. I plundered it shamelessly.

Seeing as Mr Holmes lived though, I avoid feeling guilty about laughing at the dialogue:

Jonathon: "You OK?"
Michael: "No."
Jonathon: "Does it hurt anywhere?"
Michael: "Yes."

World exclusive skydiver video... watch the incredible footage here! the Daily Mail

Michael's not the first person to survive a terrifying fall like that, but those who have form a reasonably exclusive club.

I remember seeing hilarious footage of basejumpers leaping off a bridge someplace. It sure was a long way down, and one guy suffered a gear malfunction & did his very best Wile E Coyote impression, silently dwindling into the distance, and landing with a barely audible "Pffft" in the shallow river some several hundred metres below. He also lived. Walked away unscathed.

Should you ever find yourself plummetting several hundred or thousand metres without the aid of a parachute, you might want to bone up on increasing YOUR chances of joining that club. Here are step by step instructions on surviving a long fall.

Sex bloggers bare all on the internet

Hah! You wish!

Sex bloggers bare all on the internet -

You must be thinking of this guy...

Actually, I just liked the headline.

That's it! I'm outtahere.

In my life, I have walked out of very few movies. And to put that in perspective, I can probably own to have seen thousands of movies in my time (many of them, over some dozen years, from the same seat in the same cinema), and this isn’t counting video cassettes, DVDs, SKY or TV screenings.

But no matter how awful, boring, or insulting to my intelligence, the number of films I have abandoned midway can be counted on one hand. I even sat through a scratched, and baffling screening of The Colour of Pomegranites, although a mate who attended with me did complain to the projectionist at the absence of a car chase.

I got to thinking about all this yesterday, after describing a movie that I did stay the distance for, Hybrid, which is about the man, Milton Beeghly, who invented early hybrid corn varieties, and the movie is literally as exciting as watching corn grow, which is what you do for pretty much the whole running time, in hindsight, I should have fled at the first closeup of a corn field maturing in slow motion.

I remember being at a very late film festival screening of Reanimator, which is one of the most hilarious (“Herbert West has a perfectly good head on his shoulders… and another on the table in front of him.”) and grisly stories ever committed to film. The movie opens with an autopsy being performed for the benefit of watching med students, the doctor doing the honours instructs the class “…and you peel the skin away from the skull just like an orange”. And as they showed that skin being peeled orange like, the first of many dozens of patrons began leaving the theatre, we’re like 30 seconds in. The audience sontinued to stream steadily out until almost the final scene, in stark contrast to the very first Hong Kong film shown at a festival, The Iceman Cometh, where the largely chinese audience continued to enter the theatre (and proceeded to converse loudly) right up almost to the final scene.

I was made of sterner stuff as far as Reanimator went, the movie is frickin brilliant. Jeffrey Combs, who plays Herbert West, earned a cameo in Peter Jackson’s The Frighteners on the strength of this performance.

The film that I most vividly remember walking out of, was called The Ghosts (Das Gespenst), and coincidentally it was at another film festival that I encountered it. The programme notes claimed it was a comedy. Laughs were promised. Not only, but controversial laughs, because it had a reputation for being blasphemous.

But who knows? I didn’t get that far. I watched the so-called special effect as the statue of Christ came to life, I watched him turn into a snake, and back, and meet the nun with whom he would purportedly form an intimate relationship, but I didn’t see the relationship develop because I gave up after what seemed like a 30 minute scene of two characters (supposedly the comic relief) squatting back to back & trying to shit into shot glasses… not even the promise of hilarious blasphemy could justify the ennui of this scene. And so I left after not a single laugh or smirk.

Some years later I also walked out of Jim Jarmusch & Johnny Depp’s Deadman, but that was because I had flu & was feeling sick.

Monday, February 12, 2007

New Look SunnyO

In a spectacular reversal of traditional roles, I have devised a new New Year’s Resolution for Mrs Llew. It is:

No More Open Homes!


Several years ago, she & I had an hour to kill before some appointment, so we agreed we’d take a look at an open home down the road. “Just for ideas, you understand”. I did.

Two days later, because that was when the tender closed, we owned that house. I said then “No more open homes!”

But the lesson wasn’t learned.

Anyway, the weekend before last, we attended another open home, not in the same street this time (which is what had me off my guard, we have owned up to 4 houses in just 2 streets at times, at the moment we’re down to 3 houses in 3 streets.)

Yes. We have, or will have soon, a new SunnyO.

New SunnyO 1

And here, I have to give my apologies and “I told you so’s” to Martha, who emailed me late last year to ask my advice about a place she & Glen were looking to buy. I warned them off it, and did mention that no way was I showing this to Mrs llew, because she has a habit of buying things like this.

New SunnyO 2

So anyway, Mrs llew saw it herself, and (assuming no major last minute, pre-unconditional, surprises – LIM report is in the post/bank managers are as yet, blissfully unaware of how we spent the weekend - keep perhaps, an eye on Westpac's shareprice in case it dips sharply when she finds out) we now own it.

New SunnyO 3

It’s an old lodge, near the racecourse, apparently there used to be another house on the property, which technically speaking, was the lodge, in which visiting jockeys would reside at times of race meets. The stables are still there, in good nick although used for storage these days. We’ll turn some of them into bunkhouses for when the extended family (and we have quite some extended family, Mrs Llew being one of 25 kids or so - seems like that anyway) visit.

New SunnyO 4

There’s also a sleepout, historic “tack” room, 100 year old beech tree, and a fully functioning macadamia orchard & processing plant. Not to mention every type of fruit tree known to humanity.

New SunnyO 5

It’s a drive to the beach now, not a walk, but it is a short walk to the river, and the racecourse, both of which I’m sure are worth visiting…

Why did we buy it? Well I can see the appeal for Mrs Llew, the trees are established, and planting out the old SunnyO was a race against time & our natural life expectancies. In not too many more years, I will be 50 (!!).

So what happens to the old one, and the sheep, most of whom have only just taken up residence…?

Only time will tell.

But do drop me a line if you’ve ever fancied a section by the beach, or if you have a potential home for up to 7 pet sheep of varying ancestry & age. Although chances are some will move with us. I’m determined to find them slaughterhouse-free new homes. And now that I am an expert on Macadamia orchards (google) I know that sheep do not eat these trees & so can be safely accommodated in their midst. But there ain’t enough space for all of them.

And on that - de ja vu! The place needs lots of new fencing, to keep animals in & out. But since the last time I was faced with that challenge (check the archives) I've discovered that at least 2 of Mrs llew's thousands of nephews are builders specialising in fences.


And if you're feeling swizzed that this is not a new look for the blog, I'm considering it.

In which we continue to state the obvious..

Anna Nicole's Mum demonstrates from which side of the family Anna Nicole inherited the brains.

Drugs may be involved - Anna Nicole's mum -

We'll drink recycled sewage - Aussies

This we also know, I have tried Fosters myself.

We'll drink recycled sewage - Aussies -

Yikes, they're here....

"I've got an open ticket..."

This, we know already.

"so we'll see how it goes..."

Sadly, we all will.

'It wasn't love at first sight' - Loos -

If the poll asking how long this entanglement will last is on the right when you click through... by all means take a punt. I myself voted along the lines that this is forever.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Promise of things to come...

Been a bit quiet recently - been busy.

Anyway, out of the blue (this time last week it was all different) there will be a new look SunnyO coming soon.