Enquiring into the inquiry of the inquiry

Clark Announces Inquiry into Ingram Inquiry « The Dim-Post

Newspaper Editor Blames "System".

Rob Olsen, the editor of the Wellingtonian has responded to my request that my "Addressed Mail Only" sign be respected:

What is your house address?
Rob Olsen, editor, The Wellingtonian474
0147editor@thewellingtonian.co.nz

To which I replied:

Does that matter?
It's the one with an "Addressed mail only" sign.
Please respect my wishes.

Which got me this:

Is it 1 Woodward Street? It matters if you want the paper stopped.

It's not, and I think it unfair to all the other "Addressed Mail Only" sign owners that we have to personally plead with anyone, to stop putting unwanted stuff on our property.

But Rob says it's out of his hands. It's the "System".

Without an address I can't act. We have to instruct the company that delivers the paper not to deliver to specific addresses. "Addressed Mail Only" is obviously not enough info. I am sorry to have to labour this point but that's the system. Otherwise I suggest you take it up with my manager Diane Clayton on 474 0362.
Rob Olsen, editor, The Wellingtonian474
0147editor@thewellingtonian.co.nz

The first unstamped Foolscap envelope bearing the two copies of the Wellingtonian that were delivered last week should be arriving on Rob's desk today or tomorrow.

To the editors of Capital Times & The Wellingtonian

That sign on my letterbox which says "Addressed Mail Only" means that until you start addressing your junkmail to me personally, it does not get put in my letterbox.

I'll be addressing every copy that arrives from now on, back to you, without postage.

My final word on the Hobbit films

They will go like this:

The Hobbit should be fairly short... unless Jackson & del Toro decide to splice some backstory from the appendices of the Lord of the Rings & the Silmarilien. But it's my guess they'll leave that for the second movie.

The Hobbit will cover exactly what's in the book - In a hole in the ground there lived a Hobbit... through to Bilbo returning home with the ring & some treasure.

The 2nd "Hobbit" film (which probably won't have many if any hobbits in it) could go on for weeks. He's got plot to fill it, but otherwise a blank slate. There're about 80 years to cover between the end of the Hobbit & the start of the Fellowship of the Ring. And here's my guess how it'll go.

The 2nd film will start with a 25 minute run through of the creation of the world according to Tolkein & events up until approximately 90 years before what happens in the Hobbit.

We'll see the Valar & the Maiar, including a chap called Morgoth, who turns to the bad side & becomes a Sith Lord (or something) and his sidekick Sauron. These guys are Maia gone bad. Morgoth is defeated, but Sauron lives on - he's a shapeshifter who can make himself exceedingly beautiful & charming.

Sauron makes gifts of rings of power for the kings of Men, Dwarves & Elves. Secretly, he also forges The One Ring, which binds the others to his service.

The Istari will enter Middle Earth, they're Maia in the form of wise old men, wizards in fact, chief among them are Saruman & Gandalf. The Valar send them to help the denizens of Middle Earth oppose Sauron.

The dwarf Durin will create the underground city of Moria, but he & the city will wake a Balrog which will destroy them all.

We'll see excerpts from the LotR where Isildur & Elrond defeat Sauron. (By now, Sauron's lost the ability to look beautiful & charming & swans around in black armour, covering burnt black skin.)

Then skip thousands of years & we'll see Gandalf enter the dungeons of "the Necromancer" and discover that he's Sauron returned. And Gandalf will find a captive dwarf called Thrain (father of Thorin Oakenshield), a map & key.

All this happens before the stuff in the Hobbit.We'll skip the rest because it will be in the first film, except for a bit where the White Council drive Sauron out of Mirkwood.

Saruman will begin to turn to the dark side.

And then we'll return to Middle Earth to see a very young Aragorn being brought up by Elrond & meeting Arwen, they call him "Estel". We'll probably also see Aragorn serving in the armies of Rohan & Gondor, but under the name Thorongil.

Aragoen will meet Gandalf & they become firm friends. Gandalf asks Aragorn to keep a watch on the Shire.

Gollum will leave his mountain lair & begin to hunt for the thief Baggins. He will meet Shelob, but be caught & tortured by Sauron, who sends his forces to look for Bilbo. Gollum is freed.

Somewhere in here we'll also see Balin & company recolonise the abandoned city of Moria but be defeated after some years by Orcs.

Aragorn will capture Gollum & the goodies will become aware that the Shire & Bilbo are in danger. Gollum wil however, escape from the dwarves in Mirkwood where he was held captive.

Gandalf will go to persude Bilbo to give the ring to Frodo & the story is complete.

There. Easy.

If I'm correct, that must deserve comps to the World Premieres right?

Darth Hughes vs Jedi Jones

It doesn't say where in Britain this happened, but judging by the surnames... it's somewhere in Wales.

Mr Hughes drank 10 litres of wine (!!??). dressed as Darth Vader & then attacked members of Britain's first Jedi Church as they prepared to duel each other with lightsabres. As you do.

Apparently there is video footage somewhere.

Man dressed as Darth Vader attacked Jedis - on Stuff.co.nz

Classic prison escape - Yeah Right! You can't fool me.

I've seen the Shawshank Redemption!

My guess is that the ridiculously neatly knotted rope hanging from the tower is a smokescreen, the guy is really hiding in a cupboard or somewhere, still inside.

Police warn public after classic prison escape - Stuff.co.nz

The witness who saw the escape is a plant.

You heard it here first (although you may never hear it again)

My Pick - The Quest For Erebor will be filmed for the Hobbit movies

Tolkien Geek: The Quest For Erebor

I'll take a punt & guess that these events will be filmed for the 2nd movie, even though they deal with events that occured before the Hobbit.

I got the chronology wrong in my earlier post - so um... don't take anything I say as gospel (or check with the learned TolkeinGeek.)

So what's likely to be in the 2nd Hobbit film?

Well for starters... not many hobbits, if any. I suppose there might be some sightings of Bilbo in the Shire doing not very much in the 80 years (I think the LotR movie made it 60 years) between the events of the Hobbit & the Lord of the Rings. I guess we might see him adopting Frodo at the end.

I must admit I'm doing this from memory & what I've gleaned from different sites in the last few days, but there's enough plot in the appendices of the Lord of the Rings to make a decent movie, just no dialogue nor characterisation.

So what've we got?

From events that took place during the Hobbit, but only mentioned in passing by Gandalf, we will almost certainly see the White Council meet to discuss the "Necromancer" at Dol Guldur. The Necromancer is Sauron returned. Gandalf leaves the dwarves & Bilbo at Mirkwood, and enters the Necromancer's lair. Later, the White Council drive him out & he regroups in Mordor. (this will be in flashback as it occurs either during or before the events of the Hobbit).

We should see Galadriel & Saruman in the White Council scenes.

From the appendices of the Lord of the Rings:

Aragorn meets Arwen. Serves with the Riders of Rohan & also in Minas Tirith. Spends years hunting for Gollum in the wilderness.

Gollum searches Middle Earth for the thief Baggins. He is tracked and caught at various times by both Aragorn & the Rangers, and Sauron's forces. Gollum is tortured by Sauron for news of the ring & Sauron begins hunting Bilbo.

Gollum meets Shelob (the big spider).

Balin, one of the dwarves accompanying Bilbo on his quest, leads a group & recolonises the lost undergound city of Moria. Remember, there's a big fight at his tomb in LotR? So we should see Moria in all its glory, then being destroyed by the Balrog that fought Gandalf.

Saruman begins to turn to the Dark Side & becomes a Sith Lord (Oh wait....).

Gandalf begins to suspect what Bilbo's magic ring really is.

I'll add more as it occurs to me, or I spot it elsewhere.

Mr Spock & The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins

Really, there ought to be a law against actors singing.

The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Most impressively, Nimoy performs, Spock haircut & all! They should've let him wear his ears though.

Hobbit casting

This is amusing - fan speculation about who will or should be in the upcoming Hobbit films. Please note, the only characters from the Lord of the Rings that explicitly appear in the Hobbit are Gandalf, Bilbo, Gollum & Elrond. Although part of the action involves Thranduil, Legolas' father, so it is feasible that Legolas could make a cameo. And should a scene with the White Council be filmed (it gets mentioned in passing), we might also see Galadriel & Saruman. (The appendices to LotR do state that Aragorn & Arwen are not at Rivendell when Bilbo & the dwarves visit (in fact, by the book's chronology, Aragon would be 10, and Arwen a mere couple of thousand years old.)

However, the planned second movie could see lots more return.

MTV Movies Blog » Will Martin Freeman Hitch A Ride To ‘The Hobbit’?

But really, what's most amusing is that these people don't realise most of these parts will be filled by actors we in NZ know from Shortland Street & Outrageous Fortune.

And what's the chance James McAvoy plays Bilbo? At 76 or so Sir Ian Holm probably won't want to be doing the stunts involved.

Cash in chips, we're off to Oz

The link takes you to an opinion piece on chippies, healthy eating & getting mugged for an Super 14 card.

BTW - I never eat chippies, if I started I'd never stop, so I don't start.

Cash in chips, we're off to Oz - Opinion: Stuff.co.nz

So here's my (modestly) brilliant idea for saving the world - fat kids anyway.

Give Super 14 cards away with purchases of fresh fruit & vegetables.

Feck, I amaze myself sometimes.

Next post - saving the world by giving Super 14 cards away with carbon credits.

Scrub Fire

Last weekend there was a scrub fire near the beach between Otaki & Waikawa. The DomPost reported that the fire was 50 metres wide, and 1.5 km long. It ran along a natural gully just back from the beach. Not far from houses...

The smoke & flames were visible for miles & miles.

On our way back, we saw the first of two helicopters arrive with monsoon buckets. These photos were taken at dusk & I think they'd have been busy through much of the night.





















































On the positive side, there was a great sunset that night.

As seen on the Reuters feed...

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The ugliest cat alive

It looks like a refugee from a Harry Potter movie.

Furless feline fit to be showstealer - Stuff.co.nz

It's called Sphincter or something.

No wait, it's called Angel, the breed is called Sphynx.

A balanced diet - Tui shout shows the way

6000 slices of bread, 4000 sausages, two tonnes of meat ... and three lettuces

Drought shout brings relief - Wairarapa Times-Age

Grow your own potatoes

After reading & contributing to a thread on the Public Health Bill over at Kiwiblog I thought I'd let you in on the secret of growing your own potatoes - almosty anywhere, you don't need a garden. Seeing as someone there said the country's seed potato supply went up in smoke the other day.

Kiwiblog » Blog Archive » The Public Health Bill

Get a bucket, any old bucket.

Drill 3 or 4 holes in the bottom.

Put a couple of inches of compost into the bucket.

Followed by 3 or 4 potatoes. They don't have to be seed potatoes - I do this regularly with jersey bennys bought from the supermarket.

Cover with compost, but not to the top of the bucket - just enough to cover the potatoes.

Sit in the sun somewhere & water every couple of days.

The potatoes will send up shoots & leaves. Every few days, add more compost around the shoots, until the bucket is full, by then it will be quite a lush looking plant.

Keep watering every few days.

When the leaves start to go brown, empty the bucket & you will find it full of fresh potatoes.

Plant one of these buckets every three weeks or so & you'll have home grown spuds all year round.

Cardiff City for the FA cup

In 1972 I would sometimes tag along with my uncle to Cardiff to see their football team play. And usually lose.

Cardiff City were near the bottom of the 2nd division in those days, Leeds United were the Manchester United of the day.

So I thought I'd misheard the radio when they reported Cardiff City are in this year's FA Cup Final. Amazing! I wonder if my uncle will go.

FA Cup success good for business in Welsh capital - icWales

Incontinence pants for toddlers!

I dunno, if I spotted anyone, child or adult, wearing these things I don't think I could get in the pool.

Might as well print "Stand back, I'm gonna take a dump!" on the front of them.

'Code Brown' causing a splash - New Zealand news on Stuff.co.nz

Totally fooled me

A primo photoshopping job

From the awesome 10Eastern Foundphotos.

For Sue

My sister Sue had a presence that belied her tiny size. And in the short time we’ve had with her, she’s given more than most people would in a 100 years.

She had an incandescent energy that nothing could suppress and she lived every moment to the full .

She had an inexhaustible capacity for love. Her generosity touched the lives of so many people from one end of the earth to the other.

Her heart was in her family. Her best friend and loving husband Murray; her two wonderful boys Rorie & Owain; the wider French & Llewellyn families; the Mitchem clan that she lived with for a few years in Wales; and the Prices in Avalon; her friends were her family and her family were her friends.

My little sister Sue was, at different times, my confidante, my counsellor, my advisor, my comforter, my friend and on occasion, my conscience - if that’s what she thought I needed. I was clearly her older brother, so she was always diplomatic and respectful, but she had no qualms about calling to suggest I consider a certain course of action. Just consider it, mind you.

I was proud of my little sister:

She was about family.

She was an organiser.

She was fiercely Welsh. A leek carrying, red dragon wearing, Max Boyce quoting, Welsh patriot. Sue gave me a Welsh flag one year for Christmas and berated me for not visiting a coalmine the last time I was in Wales.

She had a ready & infectious laugh.

She was a loving mother, enormously proud of her beloved boys. She told me about a recent assembly where Rorie & Owain both spoke. She was just bursting with pride.

She was a loving wife. And a loved wife.

She loved her mum and they enjoyed a close bond.

She was a Sci-fi geek. Sue & I regularly discussed the merits of various cult films, books & TV series over the years. Just recently, we caught Jason & the Argonauts on TV, and we both hooted with laughter.

She was not one to shy from challenges.

And she was just the bravest little sister in the world.

I’m going to miss her love, counsel, advice, respect, comfort and regular “To do” lists

Sue filled our lives with laughter, love & order. She’s left a huge hole in our hearts, but her passing has brought us all closer together.

To all of you – families and friends – we were so lucky to have had Sue in our lives. We’ll hold her in our hearts forever.