Hero on the Hudson - think you're as good as Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger

Prove it. Land your stricken airbus on the Hudson River.

Hero on the Hudson - Free Arcade & Classic Game from AddictingGames

Don't call me sexy, Potter star says - Stuff.co.nz

The Harry Potter star, Emma Watson, apparently:

does not want to be known for her looks, and has no interest in starring in raunchy photo-shoots.

I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that's not me. I feel uncomfortable. I'd never go out in a mini-skirt. It's nothing to do with protecting the Hermione image. I wouldn't do that.

Don't call me sexy, Potter star says - Stuff.co.nz

That's a relief then

Somewhat brilliant advertisement

Making of vid here

Amusing new Air NZ advertisement

I urge you to click through...



From the folk at unrulymedia.com (if you click through, that "sex" tape is NSFW-ish)

New Ventures

First day back in the office today. Why do we have to come back just as the really hot weather begins? I'm struggling with shoes & long trousers... but hey,. I always do.

We harvested 125.1 kg of macadamia nuts, add that to the 98.3 kg we harvested in July & we have a few to dispose of now. Bear in mind that they'll lose one quarter to one third their weight when dried.

But anyway, we're prepared now, we even have retailers interested. Look for them in discerning outlets. And hey, do I have to remind you to buy local? Unless you're reading this from far flung parts, in which case I'll remind you to be broad of mind & buy something exotic.

You'll know them by the cool logo designed for us by the lovely Nicole from Chattanooga. Is that cool or what? I mean the fact she's from Chattanooga. Anyway, the logo:



And here's the other one Nicole whipped up, this one's for any other produce we er... produce in future, and possibly for sending irate letters to the local council. As much as I hate twee names for houses, ours has had its for more than twice my lifespan, so we'll keep it for now. May even get a new sign made up along the lines of this!



In other news, Wilma caught the rat she was stalking for a week or so from the time she first laid eyes on it. It would cross a 2 metre gap between a huge phoenix palm & our pump house, always between 5 & 6pm in the evenings.

The first two nights Wilma was too slow & we saw her jumping vainly in the air under the tree, and the next night trying to dig a hole under the pump house. She'd been sitting there for ages, pointedly not looking in the direction the rat came from each evening, but her ears were tilted behind her.

On the thirs evening, all hell broke loose, she's a smart dog & third time the rat found it's escape was blocked by a tricky labrador & it found itself stranded in our vegie patch. Half a dozen corn stalks later, the rat made a heroic dash for a small hole under the house.

So next day I blocked that. And the hunt continued for a week or so, until one night, me & Mrs Llew (we got a thing going on) were at the supermarket & we got a txt from our daughter Marzipan saying "Wilma killed the rat. What do I do?"

Well we turfed it of course.

In other local fauna news, last Friday, while walking down the beach, I curtailed a long boring description someone was giving me about 9/11 conspiracy theory DVD with a hearty "HOLY SHIT!"

"What?" the crowd pleaded.

"There's a seal!" And 50 metres ahead, sure enough, there was a seal emerging from the surf.

I managed to catch Wilma just befopre she launched herself at it, I suspect it would not be so keen on canine company as another dog would.

The seal basked in the sun, hollered at passers by who came too close, groomed itself & appeared to be showing off.

Later, my friend Hamish turned up with a camera, so I may have photos.

It was a good Christmas, a smallish one for us, only 15 people or so, we had rellies from the UK come & visit in the new year, we were picking about a kilo of fresh raspberries a day from the canes the whole time, we got to try the plums this year before the birds ate them all & I have netted off figs, grapes, and tomatoes from the same birds, so we may get to try those too.

And hey, it wasn't all bucolic loafing, I have completed a solid 500 words or so of the novel so far. And it's hilarious, if I say so myself.

There's probably more, when & if I remember I'll blog it in the usual disjointed manner.

Man dies after retirement party hijinks

What a bummer start to retirement.

Man dies after retirement party hijinks - Stuff.co.nz

In other weird news, a man has offered his daughter to the infamous shoe thrower. I hope she's hot.

And Satan's Santa's Army is on the march...

Light blogging for a month or so while I rest, relax, harvest nuts, strawberries, raspberries, avacados, mow lawns, write my novel & wonder where my money went.

Aside from the odd bereavement here & there, Chez Llew has had a great year & we expect an even greater one next.

I may post between now & then, but if not, have a really great Christmas & New Year y'all.

The TAWAs: All The Info | the wellingtonista

Aw man, I'm so slack I didn't get around to pimping this august occasion - the Third Annual Wellingtonista Awards (hint: next year will be the FAWAs).

In fact, I didn't even get around to voting!

Anyway, I can't make it, you should go though, if you can, they tell me I had a great time last year.

The TAWAs: All The Info | the wellingtonista

And Furthermore.

OK, I'm not yet used to being namechecked on Radio NZ National (they'll always be National Radio to me), but I'm working on it.

David was kind enough to bring this idea to Kathryn Ryan's attention.

The Parliamentary complex has a perfectly functional banquet hall & if the current regime are keen to see departments squander less money on "retreats" and conferences, perhaps they could offer the hall & the services of the in house caterers to all departments at a discount.

But furthermore, it occurs to me that there are several other grand "State Houses" around so that departments would not be confined to visiting the same venue year in year out. There's Government House for instance, Premier House, that place on the Terrace (or is it Bolton St) thet Bill English dossed in during the Great Potato's regime - feck it is huge.

But most of all, there's a venue that offers all* the experiential fun of Outward Bound - the Civil Defence Bunker beneath the Beehive. Those agencies tired of slumming it in a sleeping bag on a scout hall floor, can slum it in a sleeping bag on a wire bunk beneath the centre of this country's power.

And to digress for a moment, if this arrangement had been in place all those years ago, pause & momentarily ponder what sleeping bags & sleeping attire might be sported by Christine Rankin & 45 of her top executive team at the WINZ Hunker in the Bunker Annual Retreat (TM)

Radio New Zealand National : Programmes A-Z : Nine to Noon : 20081215

*Statement may be subject to gross exaggeration

House Guests

When we arrived home the other night, the front porch was strangely covered with dried weeds & grass. How odd we thought.

Later, Mrs Llew cleaned it up. The next day, I was on my way inside when a big blackbird seemed to launch itself out of nowhere in front of me.

Then I saw it.





There are two eggs in there, and occasionally a watchful bird. It looks so like a christmas decoration we're going to embellish it slightly & try to remember not to turn on the light.

Not so Fast, a Possible Late Entry...

Mary-Kate Olsen reportedly pregnant - Stuff.co.nz

Game Over

We have a winner.

Big pay day for Ashlee's baby Mowgli - Stuff.co.nz: "Bronx Mowgli Wentz"

The long running game by the world's celebrities to give the most reckless, irresponsible & downright reprehensible name to their spawn has finally been won, by Ashley Simpson.

The Soundtrack to your life.

So what is it goes through your head as you confidently slope around town? I must shamefully confess that on my way to work this morning, the offending song was "Long Haired Lover from Liverpool" by Jimmy Osmond. But that was a freakish and disturbing aberration.

Usually, of late anyway, and no-one who knows me will be surprised, I'm sure, it is SO me, it is this:

Paging Drs Splatt and Weedon!

Prompted by this excellent story on how men are the only winners in the prostitution law reform, featuring salient comments from National Council of Women of New Zealand president Elizabeth Bang, I asked my colleagues at the Wellingtonista if they know of a word that covers surnames appropriate for certain professions or office - like for instance, Dr Payne the dentist.

There's no single word, but a term has been coined: Nominative determinism.

And there are some great examples, Cardinal Sin, Lord Justice Judge, but my very favourites are Drs Splatt and Weedon, world famous urologists and experts in incontinence.

That's one ugly dog.

Peru offers Obama a hairless dog - Stuff.co.nz

DIY Tips from SunnyO #1

Trust the man with the experience.

Weed Spraying Tips:

Beware of spraydrift.



Be careful where you walk, especially do not tread weedkiller throughout property.

New Zealanders living longer.

See, one day into a new Conservative government & the news is all good. Thank you Mr Key. And Mr Hide. And Dr Jekyll.

New Zealanders living longer - New Zealand news on Stuff.co.nz

Fantastic comment

Over at Kiwiblog.

Crimes have been committed - money stolen, people hurt and killed for no reason, the country betrayed.

Winston | Kiwiblog

Must get me some of those category things so that I can categorise things under "idiocy" and the like.

The need to swiftly arrest and bring to trial Labour and Green MPs, as well as that fat slug Jim Anderton, is imperative. Some of them are already planning to flee the country with state assets.

Who knew things had got this far?

And, it's educational.

Steve Crow & the Boobs on Bikes Team demostrate the difference between "For Sale" and "For Rent".



Click for bigger image.

'Boobs' parade ends at Parliament - Stuff.co.nz

Campaign Slogan that Wasn't.

I don't have photoshop, if you do, you're welcome to this:

Live Free - Die Hard, New Zealand First

Harder to kill than Rasputin

NZ First Cleared By Police

Funny.

goNZo Freakpower Brains Trust: Donde esta la chopper?