Hey, hey, my shit don't fly....

We listen to the radio at work. Because we can. And I'm very generous, I let the guys choose the station, because I know they'll whinge if I tune into National Radio.

So we tend to get 91FM first thing in the morning, because one colleague finds Polly & Grant quite funny... later, we change the station elsewhere.

It's become a bit of a joke, that the day does not properly start until we hear Shakira's latest song. Whose title, "My Hips Don't Lie". I discerned only yesterday.

Until then, I'd idly sung along (under my breath).

"Hey, hey, my chips won't fry.
Hey, hey, I'm looking fucking spry"

But when we hear the telltale brass fanfare, we feel inspired. We can relax & get on with the day. Knowing that Shakira will be played every third track for the rest of the day (alternating with INXS Latest, and Nickleback.

Today is different. No Shakira.

And it turns out, that yesterday, one of my colleagues emailed 91FM with the following:

Oh dear God, let it be over...

Hi to the wonderful team at ZM

Whilst we love listening to ZM (especially the Morning Crew) in the office, in recent months we have been forced to start "mixing it up" and listening to lesser stations in a desperate bid to avoid Shakira's latest single, Hips Don't Lie. One colleague just made the understated comment, as we listened to it for the third time today, that he is "over this d*mn song". I have a feeling he was never "under" it to begin with.

I guess I am just having trouble accepting that that our entire office could have it so wrong!!! Are there really people out there who love this song enough to warrant playing it so many times each day (if at all)?? Really?? And if there are, who are these people and where do they live??

Please put us out of our misery and wipe that darned song from your playlist!!

Keep up the great work

Aspidestra and colleagues

And Aspidestra had her email read out on air, and on arriving at the office had received the following reply:

Aspidestra…

She sounds like a chicken mating with a sheep!!!!!!! I don't get it either! Can people not hear her voice rasping over their souls???? Arggggggggggggghhhhhhh!

I feel the same!!

Hugs

Polly xxx

No need to thank us, it was a public service.

Nicer than yesterday

Foggy morning

About 15 minutes after these were taken, Mrs Llew & Wilma were heading home from the morning walk & the fog was apparently coming down the street toward them so fast that within a minute, they were pea souped.

I'm guessing the airport is closed.

Unsporting?

Some guy in the lift this morning - he was wearing plastic over-trousers, and a parka, and a motorcycle helmet. In the lift. One of his colleagues got in with us. The parka guy then announced:

"What a beautiful game eh?" and roared with laughter. His colleague replied:

"Our Sydney office will be unhappy."

"Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch!" and parka-man roared with laughter again.

I said nothing, but I wondered what ever happened to our ANZAC spirit. Was there ever even an ANZAC spirit for something to happen to?

Why would Kiwis support Italy over our close neighbours? Surely, it's to the advantage of New Zealand players, if Australia has a healthy soccer league. Right?

Stuff.co.nz: Late penalty sinks Australia

Still being unkind...

I find they have the opposite effect.

Stuff.co.nz: Blunt song wakes girl from coma

I'm being unkind, I know...

I wish her all the best. Truly. And I have no problem whatsoever with her selling her products & services for whatever anyone is willing to pay for them.

Stuff.co.nz: Don't try this elsewhere kids - streaker

"Meanwhile, Ms Lewis has made contact with an Australian man willing to pay $4000 for the bikini. The man does not want to be named, but Ms Lewis hopes to deliver the bikini in person."

But for that sort of money I hope he gets to remove it with his teeth.

Qualified Masseur Wanted for Football Team

Apply in your dreams.

Sweden United
Hat tip DPF

OhGizmo! » Stonehenge Pocket Watch

Awesome!

OhGizmo! » Stonehenge Pocket Watch

Hat tip to Mainlander Mike

Streaker fears for her business

I reckon she's got nothing to worry about & this will do wonders for her business.

Stuff.co.nz: Streaker fears for her business

Now, I bet you can't resist clicking on the link to see what her business is.

For the record - we watched her on Sugar Shack last night, and while she was perfectly engaging sitting on the couch fully clothed, she was surprisingly stiff & self conscious out of those clothes. Although that could have been a body double crossing the studio floor.

It's official, we have a new media star

And mere days later, we know far, far more about her than we ever expected, or really wanted to.

New Zealand news on Stuff.co.nz: Former hubby talks of streaker's 'fancy tastes'

And also, has it struck anyone else that she looks like Heather Mills-McCartney? Another media darling having her past raked over thoroughly.

I may have to auction the home video Heather & I made in the early 90s on TradeMe soon.

Some things in the Spare Room

The Spare Room is a newish blog from some people who are rumoured to be like, real journos...

I know what you're thinking... but actually it's quite good :)

Anyway, two things you should have a look at.

the first is a Brokeback Mountain style Speight's ad. They've been asking for it really. Gagging.

The second is a quite eye watering Bollywood Beatles parody. Although that main guy has got a touch of the young Tim Finn about him in my opinion.

Spare Room » Spare Room

Tim Selwyn is appealing!

Well… I’m sure someone thinks so anyway.

I hope that his sentence is somewhat less serious than the conviction sounds.

I notice that Tim has proudly displayed his Peter Quixote award on the sidebar of his blog. I think that’s a neat idea.

I’d link direct to Pete’s Post (hey… wait a minute, could that be who he is?), but he keeps removing them & bringing them back. Depending no doubt, on today’s reality. Linking, is futile.

I was awarded a Quixote medallion too – for services in convincing the nation that the sun shines in Wellington – and I thought it’d be a great idea to, like Tim, proudly display my medallion on this site.

But it’s gone. For now. Like many posts, it may well come back & I’ll snaffle it then.

WONDERFUL!

This site was a finalist in the Webby Awards Best Home Page or Welcome category.

It should've won!!

WONDERBRA

Takes a little while to load, then to er... play... make sure you stay till it gets interactive :)

And it IS worth exploring a little, there is a lot there, see the wonderbra in action, watch as all its functions are demonstrated.

Hint: Move your mouse from side to side.

Have fun.

Those who say they haven't, are lying.

Ever googled yourself?

Sounds rude. Tee hee...

Actually, someone else just googled me. Which is a lot more satisfying.

Alright, I lie. I was yahooed a few minutes ago, by someone from Carbondale, Illinois. I'm not sure they found who they were looking for.

Seems odd to me that there might be more people out there sharing this grand & ancient name.

Which is, for the record (in very best Bondian tone...)

a'Llewette, John T a'Llewette

Maybe I have relatives in Illinois?

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

I was Russell Crowe's stooge - National - smh.com.au

I've updated the links...

I had to update the Wellingtonista link anyway, so took the opportunity to test each & every link in my blogroll & see who was still there.

A bit of attrition as it turns out...

Lippycat
Curious Observer
Smoothfruity
Wellingtonista

All replaced by pod blogs... the spammers are coming. I think there must be some program that trolls for deleted blogs.

Anyway, RIP all.

Tamiam has disappeared without trace. Which is a pity.

Supergood was kind enough to leave a parting message saying he could only blog well when he was sad. And sadly, he's got happy. If that makes sense.

Newyorkality and Threepointturn seem to be on hiatus.

So.

Now I know who has linked back to me too!

About 30 seconds before sunrise...

blognapped! | the wellingtonista

Ooh er... in case you were looking for the Wellingtonista blog & found Ava instead.... there is an explanation.

And a solution...

blognapped! | the wellingtonista

Hotter 'n a pepper sprout

When I was kid in the "old country", I recall the Johnny Cash & June Carter duet Jackson was huge. Somehow I can even picture my grandmother in the same room as we listened to it.

Then, some months ago, Mrs Llew got the Johnny Cash bug & returned home with the Walk the Line movie soundtrack.

And so I was reacquainted with the song Jackson, but this time rendered by Joaquim Phoenix & Reese Witherspoon.

And then on Friday, Mrs Llew secured the newly released DVD & we watched the movie, which includes (part of) two performances of the song.

And it struck me that until the first viewing I had no idea what the words to the song were, beyond just the vaguest outline...

"We got married in a fever,
Hotter 'n a pepper sprout."

A "pepper sprout"...?

Now, when I was a kid in the frozen, sunless wasteland that was the "old country", I think I could be forgiven for not recognising the term "pepper sprout". I mean, I'd heard of Brussels sprouts. But chances are I'd have been baffled at a reference to anything being hotter 'n a brussels sprout". Because most things are, let's face it.

So I'm guessing a pepper sprout is pretty damned hot. And that we're refering to some kind of chilli pepper here. Jalapeno or something even hotter!

So here's the point. Such as it is.

Remember in the 1980s there used to be an advertisement for... for.... possibly Oil of Ulay (you don't see this so much - did ulays become extinct?), or it could have been Nivea.

Anyway, there were two young guys in some tropical setting, they're looking around, suddenly they spot a pretty young looking woman & one of them says "Hot sata"

And I used to agree, she was pretty "Hot sata". And in fact, the term "Hot sata" came to mean just that, anything that we deemed hotter 'n a pepper sprout. But I think you'll agree, times have changed, and it'd have been pretty odd if these guys spotted a hottie in some tropical place & described her as hotter 'n a pepper sprout.

Although down Jackson way, that might still have some relevance. Who knows?

Anyway, again, the crux of the Oil of dead Ulays ad, was that the second guy checked out the hot sata, and replied "No, too young."

But actually, she wasn't as young as she seemed, and she was indeed the hot sata they were looking for. The point of the advertisement was that this hot woman was being kept preternaturally young looking by anointing herself (shown in quick cut flashback) with oil rendered from endangered species. Or something.

But that's not the point of this post, I mean, after adopting the term "hot sata" and using it liberally, I was kind of dismayed many years later, when they updated the ad to resemble a scene from Top Gun, with hot, flight instructor woman (played by one of the Mad Max 2 actresses), being spied by two pilot goons, and one turrns to the other & says,

"Perhaps that's her"

Not "Hot sata" at all.

I felt cheated.

Good Morning America, How Are Ya?

Don't you know me, I'm your favourite... actually, I'm not.

Anyone heard of the BlogBurst Network? No? Yes?

ANyway, from now on, SunnyO will be both "family friendly" and rich with content "appropriate for Americans".

I have little idea what that means either, but holy fuck, if I'm in the San Francisco Chronicle ever day who gives a pluck?

Hope you all had a great Queen's Birthday weekend! (For our American audience, I should point out that Queen's Birthday weekend celebrates the life of "One of New Zealand's few genuine international celebrities".

This blog is HIS fansite. He's a brick.

We were up the line at SunnyO, as we usually are on a long weekend. The sun shone, the rain rained, and the sun shone again. As usual, I was moving fences. Don't ask me why this is, but I seem to spend all my long weekends up there moving fences. In this instance, it was to bisect a particular paddock so we can replant a few dozen peach trees. The fence keeps the sheep off them. No doubt next long weekend, I'll be moving that fence back again.

So much for the days. In the evenings, we sat around the fire, ate yummy food, and drank lots of wine. We also watched Walk the Line, which was fun. And Batman Begins, which was even funner (BlogBurst insists on good garmmer & spelling). I liked Batman's car.

I may post something more verbose about them later.

Anyhow, that's it for today, I only post now because my new masters (BlogBurst) say in their contributors' guidelines (in addition to being family friendly & appropriate for americans) that I have to post at least weekly. Or I risk losing my eligibility for a Pullitzer. Or something.