All Hallows Eve

When I was a kid, there wan't any trick or treating. Or at least, not where I lived. For starters, we lived in a cul de sac on a hillside bordered by a canal on one side & woods on another & open fields on a third.

In those days, in that place, Hallowe'en was about ghouls, witches & monsters roaming the woods waiting for hapless children to catch & eat. It was all a bit Hansel & Gretel. I daresay in my grandparents' days there'd have been wolves in them thar woods (now those woods are a massive ticky tacky housing development & probably have more ghouls & witches per hectare than there ever were then).

It is autumn in those parts, and in those days, daylight saving was unheard of & so we'd huddle inside from the dark & the cold & play rustic games like "bobbing for apples" (involved trying to eat apples floating in water withpout using your hands) and something with toffee apples hanging from a string (which you also had to consume without hands). My dad would roast chestnuts on the open fire.

And in a week's time the entire neighbourhood would congregate on the fields around a massive bonfire setting off fireworks ^ sparklers, and yes, roasting chestnuts (and potatoes) on an open bonfire. Didn't seem to worry about ghouls & witches on that night.

The Hellingtonista! [maniacal laughter] | the wellingtonista

Because There are Some Things Worth Looking Stupid For.

Without a shred of evidence - I am certain of this.

Winston will already have been approached by the Dancing with the Stars people. They'd have to give him Rebecca (the others would be too tall). He's probably declined because I can't see him in skin tight fishnet shirts (more to the point, I won't watch that).

But I am certain he's been approached.

Sas' Magical Mystery Tour: separated at birth: #2

Is it just me?

Everytime I hear this:



I hear this:



Yes, that's the Eddie Munster kid in Lidsville (funny, I always thought it was the execrable Jack WIld (RIP, I just found out).

Oddest thing to cross my desk (so far) today.

Views & News from Continence Conference

The biennial conference of the New Zealand Continence Association took place at the Kingsgate Hotel, Te Rapa, Waikato from September 12 to 14. The general theme for the confernce was Investigating Incontinence - Humanity and Technology. A wide range of topics were discussed. This magazine presents selected and edited reports.

I don't think we need to get into the er, business of the matter.

Aliens will fix world's problems - later today.

Relax, it's all going to be fine, a psychic called Blossom Goodchild says so., In fact, she says that benign aliens will "come in love", today, and sort things out for us. Possibly with vibrators.

I only hope they're really hot & wearing lycra.

Aliens to arrive today - psychic - Stuff.co.nz

Crackdown on Christmas crackers

Hee - I could wear a sensible water flow regulation (6 litres per minute isn't it though), but if the Gummint is trying to play down the "nanny state" aspect, they need a new strategy.

Crackdown on crackers - Stuff.co.nz

Following years of carnage exacted in freak Christmas cracker accidents, I'm astonished to learn only now that they are classed as "fireworks" and subject to importation of explosives regulations.

Cool.

Painters - Gallery - Ken & His Gal

Painters - Gallery - Ken & His Gal

She's gone now.

Earlier stories here & here.

Hikers find Steve Fossett ID, belongings

The Thot Plickens

Hikers find Steve Fossett ID, belongings - Stuff.co.nz

The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Yay!, season 2 of the Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles starts next week. And bonus, there's a new T-1000 on the block, and it's played by Shirley Manson.

Shirley Manson - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Oh - and yes, Torchwood is improving - I skipped the one with the dead guy/ghost, because that looked silly, but I really enjoyed the one with the people who took off in 1953 & landed half an hour later in 2006, that was quite moving (although the guy who plays Owen is a dweeb). And the one where Tosh & Jack end up in 1941 meeting the real Capt. Jack Harkness was good too - in fact, for a moment there I thought the old man/caretaker who seems to be able to travel through time might be the original Dr Who!

The Goose is Getting Fat

Cripes, Christmas is coming faster than expected.

This year, Christmas will be hosted at SunnyO - it's a big enough place that we've successfully hosted up to 50 people in the past, and there's a motel 5 minutes walk away for people staying longer who can't be accommodated onsite.

Mrs Llew is from a big family... 7 kids (I think, at last count), there'll be 4 generations of her family on board. If you watch the series Brothers & Sisters you'll know the drill - the gay sibling, the addict, at least two of them not talking to each other at any given time, the brother who left his wife for Sienna Miller, and years & years of secrets, intrigue & grievance *.

I'm from a family whose numbers are fewer & dwindling... I offered to host because I thought it'd be nice for my mum to spend her first Christmas without her daughter among family. My brother was committed to another excursion & can't make it unfortunately. And to complicate matters, my Mum is determined to spend Christmas alone.

It's shaping up to be a goodie already.

* Not all of these apply in real life.

Apologies for the lack of photographs recently, it's a long & boring story, but I'll find a camera & make the effort soon - the garden is very photogenic in Spring, especially when the lawns are mowed.

New Toy Alert

I'm not a huge fan of lawnmowing. Nor am I a huge fan of lawn mowers. Nor any machinery really.

Which is ironic, because I have nearly 2 acres of lawn & more small engined machines on the property than most people have in their lifetimes.

And in my defense, I inherited most of these machines when we bought the property.

I brought my own chainsaw and a linetrimmer, but in addition to that I now have:

Another chainsaw
Another bigger (you have to wheel it around) linetrimmer
A chipping machine
A cheap lawnmower
An ancient ride-on mower (Countax brand, although remove the "a", and move the "o" and you can guess how I pronounce it) which no longer picks up the clippings & mainly flattens the lawn rather than cuts it.
An old farm trike, which we've only managed to start twice because the pull start is so munted.

And there are sundry electric devices too - a yard blower, which is a waste of space, and a nut de-husking machine, which looks like junk thrown into a heap & bolted together, but it works real well.

The ride-on has caused the most trouble, it's estimated at 20 years old & has already cost us more than $1k getting the catcher fixed, which lasted nearly a year.

We've muddled through Autumn & Winter with the mowing, but the spring flush beat us this weekend.

It takes, they say, 5 hours to mow all of our lawn. I wouldn't know because I've never done the whole lot in one go. And the last few months have hardly seen 5 hours of sustained dry weather.

This weekend we bit the bullet & decided we needed a new mower - not just a mower actually, but something to tow the trailer around the property since we can't get the trike running.

So down to Borat we went (Note, he just looks like Borat & has an unidentifiable European accent). I was thinking a John Deere, because everyone tells me they're the Stihl or Husqvarna of the mower world - ie, reliable & long lasting. We've put this purchase off for a while because quite frankly, we could buy two relatively new model Japanese cars for what one of these things goes for.

But Borat recommended a Kiwicat Cheetah II, which looks like the sport version of the Cuntox (did I say that?). He said the things never break down & they're made from standard parts, and a Honda engine & they do a great job.

So we took him at his word, we could have bought 1.5 2nd hand japanese cars for the same price, but what the hey!

Anyway, bottom line is Mrs Llew is pleased with the croquet lawn for the first time in 2 years. It was worth it.

I still hate doing lawns, but this thing has twice the cutting width & should therefore get through the lot in 2.5 hours! We'll see.

Oh - and it is Kiwi made!!

Next week perhaps, adventures in selling old ride-on mowers & farm trikes on Trademe.

TV's hottest women?

Meet TV's hottest women (+pics) - Stuff.co.nz

I don't think so.

Mildly NSFW

No grounds to censure Peters

Oh well... if you can't beat 'em....

No grounds to censure Peters - Cullen - Stuff.co.nz

Dr Cullen said the evidence had to be greater than MPs believing it to be true, because Mr Henry and Mr Peters denied it.

If I am ever up on charges in court, I sincerely hope that the judge subscribes to the same logic.

I mean seriously, What. The. Fuck?

Road-rage driver burns to death

Another contender for the Darwin Awards.

Road-rage driver burns to death - Stuff.co.nz

And this reminds me of a story I read in one of the local (Kapiti) newspapers recently, I wish I'd kept it as I can't find it online.

Anyway, some young guy was burning rubber doing doughnuts in the street, he had a bit of an audience, so showing off, he opened the car door...

...and fell out of his moving car (WAY COOL & CLEVER), which narrowly missed running over & killing him. The car careened across the road & into a lampost. An injured man limped to it & shamefacedly drove away.

Police found him shortly afterwards, at home, bleeding profusely.

They did name the doofus, but I can't remember what it was.

Anger over demise of Kiwi lollies

I wonder how many of those angry at the end of these (in my view, horrible) confections, have actually bought them in the last few years?

You vote with your wallets if you want things to remain on the market.

Anger over demise of Kiwi lollies - Stuff.co.nz

My Mum, the Prize winning gardener

I popped out to see my mum yesterday, she's been laid low with a bout of bronchitis - the first time she's ever suffered that particular ailment. She's had a rough year, but she's pretty resilient.

Anyway, she looked & sounded better than I expected, the drugs must be working.

And she told me an amusing story (which, fingers crossed she doesn't check here...) is not always the case :)

Last Friday, while laid particularly low, she got a call from a friend urging her to enter her camellias in the Lower Hutt Horticultural Show on that weekend.

Mum is a bit of a gardener, but not hugely so, and she was sick at the time of the call & so she told her friend that she wouldn't be bothering, she didn't even know the show was on & she was not a particularly dedicated camellia grower - it is possible that the only attention these bushes have ever received was when they were planted a few decades ago.

Her friend persisted, and irritated, mum told her she was welcome to come & pick some flowers, but she herself wasn't at all interested.

And that's the last she thought of the matter, until she got another call on Sunday telling her she'd won 1st & 2nd prize in the "Novice" section of the competition.

camellias - Google Image Search

When I told this to Mrs Llew last night, she pointed out that it is conceivable that some decades ago I was called out to dig holes & plant the camellias in the first place.

I considered that for a moment & it dawned on me that I am the prize winning camellia grower!

Freaky dolphin sh... stuff.

Wild dolphins mark passing of Marineland's last performer.

Kelly's guard of honour - Stuff.co.nz

Caribou Barbie

Absolutely priceless

College OTR OTR: Sarah Palin as "Caribou Barbie" Realized

Hat/tip to Kerry Weston

All competitions should be like this

I just won a Snapper card which has been pre-loaded with some amount of money that I can't quite recall.

Entry was via an email link from the e-magazine of a company I do business with. All I had to do was click the link & answer some (forgotten) skill question in the subject field & click send.

A second or two later the message bounced back with an error. A little sniffing around revealed that they'd made a typo in the email recipient's address.

I corrected it & sent it back.

I surmise I was the only one who bothered to rectify the error :)