Man dies after retirement party hijinks

What a bummer start to retirement.

Man dies after retirement party hijinks - Stuff.co.nz

In other weird news, a man has offered his daughter to the infamous shoe thrower. I hope she's hot.

And Satan's Santa's Army is on the march...

Light blogging for a month or so while I rest, relax, harvest nuts, strawberries, raspberries, avacados, mow lawns, write my novel & wonder where my money went.

Aside from the odd bereavement here & there, Chez Llew has had a great year & we expect an even greater one next.

I may post between now & then, but if not, have a really great Christmas & New Year y'all.

The TAWAs: All The Info | the wellingtonista

Aw man, I'm so slack I didn't get around to pimping this august occasion - the Third Annual Wellingtonista Awards (hint: next year will be the FAWAs).

In fact, I didn't even get around to voting!

Anyway, I can't make it, you should go though, if you can, they tell me I had a great time last year.

The TAWAs: All The Info | the wellingtonista

And Furthermore.

OK, I'm not yet used to being namechecked on Radio NZ National (they'll always be National Radio to me), but I'm working on it.

David was kind enough to bring this idea to Kathryn Ryan's attention.

The Parliamentary complex has a perfectly functional banquet hall & if the current regime are keen to see departments squander less money on "retreats" and conferences, perhaps they could offer the hall & the services of the in house caterers to all departments at a discount.

But furthermore, it occurs to me that there are several other grand "State Houses" around so that departments would not be confined to visiting the same venue year in year out. There's Government House for instance, Premier House, that place on the Terrace (or is it Bolton St) thet Bill English dossed in during the Great Potato's regime - feck it is huge.

But most of all, there's a venue that offers all* the experiential fun of Outward Bound - the Civil Defence Bunker beneath the Beehive. Those agencies tired of slumming it in a sleeping bag on a scout hall floor, can slum it in a sleeping bag on a wire bunk beneath the centre of this country's power.

And to digress for a moment, if this arrangement had been in place all those years ago, pause & momentarily ponder what sleeping bags & sleeping attire might be sported by Christine Rankin & 45 of her top executive team at the WINZ Hunker in the Bunker Annual Retreat (TM)

Radio New Zealand National : Programmes A-Z : Nine to Noon : 20081215

*Statement may be subject to gross exaggeration

House Guests

When we arrived home the other night, the front porch was strangely covered with dried weeds & grass. How odd we thought.

Later, Mrs Llew cleaned it up. The next day, I was on my way inside when a big blackbird seemed to launch itself out of nowhere in front of me.

Then I saw it.





There are two eggs in there, and occasionally a watchful bird. It looks so like a christmas decoration we're going to embellish it slightly & try to remember not to turn on the light.

Not so Fast, a Possible Late Entry...

Mary-Kate Olsen reportedly pregnant - Stuff.co.nz

Game Over

We have a winner.

Big pay day for Ashlee's baby Mowgli - Stuff.co.nz: "Bronx Mowgli Wentz"

The long running game by the world's celebrities to give the most reckless, irresponsible & downright reprehensible name to their spawn has finally been won, by Ashley Simpson.

The Soundtrack to your life.

So what is it goes through your head as you confidently slope around town? I must shamefully confess that on my way to work this morning, the offending song was "Long Haired Lover from Liverpool" by Jimmy Osmond. But that was a freakish and disturbing aberration.

Usually, of late anyway, and no-one who knows me will be surprised, I'm sure, it is SO me, it is this:

Paging Drs Splatt and Weedon!

Prompted by this excellent story on how men are the only winners in the prostitution law reform, featuring salient comments from National Council of Women of New Zealand president Elizabeth Bang, I asked my colleagues at the Wellingtonista if they know of a word that covers surnames appropriate for certain professions or office - like for instance, Dr Payne the dentist.

There's no single word, but a term has been coined: Nominative determinism.

And there are some great examples, Cardinal Sin, Lord Justice Judge, but my very favourites are Drs Splatt and Weedon, world famous urologists and experts in incontinence.

That's one ugly dog.

Peru offers Obama a hairless dog - Stuff.co.nz

DIY Tips from SunnyO #1

Trust the man with the experience.

Weed Spraying Tips:

Beware of spraydrift.



Be careful where you walk, especially do not tread weedkiller throughout property.

New Zealanders living longer.

See, one day into a new Conservative government & the news is all good. Thank you Mr Key. And Mr Hide. And Dr Jekyll.

New Zealanders living longer - New Zealand news on Stuff.co.nz

Fantastic comment

Over at Kiwiblog.

Crimes have been committed - money stolen, people hurt and killed for no reason, the country betrayed.

Winston | Kiwiblog

Must get me some of those category things so that I can categorise things under "idiocy" and the like.

The need to swiftly arrest and bring to trial Labour and Green MPs, as well as that fat slug Jim Anderton, is imperative. Some of them are already planning to flee the country with state assets.

Who knew things had got this far?

And, it's educational.

Steve Crow & the Boobs on Bikes Team demostrate the difference between "For Sale" and "For Rent".



Click for bigger image.

'Boobs' parade ends at Parliament - Stuff.co.nz

Campaign Slogan that Wasn't.

I don't have photoshop, if you do, you're welcome to this:

Live Free - Die Hard, New Zealand First

Harder to kill than Rasputin

NZ First Cleared By Police

Funny.

goNZo Freakpower Brains Trust: Donde esta la chopper?

All Hallows Eve

When I was a kid, there wan't any trick or treating. Or at least, not where I lived. For starters, we lived in a cul de sac on a hillside bordered by a canal on one side & woods on another & open fields on a third.

In those days, in that place, Hallowe'en was about ghouls, witches & monsters roaming the woods waiting for hapless children to catch & eat. It was all a bit Hansel & Gretel. I daresay in my grandparents' days there'd have been wolves in them thar woods (now those woods are a massive ticky tacky housing development & probably have more ghouls & witches per hectare than there ever were then).

It is autumn in those parts, and in those days, daylight saving was unheard of & so we'd huddle inside from the dark & the cold & play rustic games like "bobbing for apples" (involved trying to eat apples floating in water withpout using your hands) and something with toffee apples hanging from a string (which you also had to consume without hands). My dad would roast chestnuts on the open fire.

And in a week's time the entire neighbourhood would congregate on the fields around a massive bonfire setting off fireworks ^ sparklers, and yes, roasting chestnuts (and potatoes) on an open bonfire. Didn't seem to worry about ghouls & witches on that night.

The Hellingtonista! [maniacal laughter] | the wellingtonista

Because There are Some Things Worth Looking Stupid For.

Without a shred of evidence - I am certain of this.

Winston will already have been approached by the Dancing with the Stars people. They'd have to give him Rebecca (the others would be too tall). He's probably declined because I can't see him in skin tight fishnet shirts (more to the point, I won't watch that).

But I am certain he's been approached.

Sas' Magical Mystery Tour: separated at birth: #2

Is it just me?

Everytime I hear this:



I hear this:



Yes, that's the Eddie Munster kid in Lidsville (funny, I always thought it was the execrable Jack WIld (RIP, I just found out).

Oddest thing to cross my desk (so far) today.

Views & News from Continence Conference

The biennial conference of the New Zealand Continence Association took place at the Kingsgate Hotel, Te Rapa, Waikato from September 12 to 14. The general theme for the confernce was Investigating Incontinence - Humanity and Technology. A wide range of topics were discussed. This magazine presents selected and edited reports.

I don't think we need to get into the er, business of the matter.