Dentists are cool.

I don't mind dentists. Maybe I have a high pain threshhold (my wife would disagree, but I think, forms contrary opinions to the available evidence at times).

But dentists solve urgent problems for me, toothache (very infrequently), and sharp edges irritating the insides of my mouth after old fillings fall out. My dentist & I agree that I have my share of fillings. In fact, I think there must be more fillings than tooth by now.

I spent my early life in the UK, growing up in an area that did not add fluoride to the water.

My earliest visits to the local dentist involved exchanges like this:

"Take a seat."
"This one?" - I still ask this, it never fails to amuse me. No dentists have ever been amused by it though.
"Open wide... How are you today?"
"Gnnnnfff"
"Don't try to speak."

"Ohmigod!... you have teeth! I'm afraid I'm going to have to drill most of them away & fill them with unstable & poisonous metals. because frankly, I'm just out of dentist school & I need the practise."

When I came to NZ, the metal to tooth ratio was increased slightly by the school dental nurses I encountered. But not so much.

For the last 3 decades however, I have had almost no problems with my teeth, except for ancient fillings falling out & needing to be replaced. Oh.. and a couple of crowns as a result of their not being enough tooth left to fill, and one or two root canals.

My tolerance of dentists is such that I rarely even have an anaesthetic. They usually hurt more than the drilling. My current dentist was amazed by my tolerance when he was diagnosing the root canals. But then he discovered the nerves in the teeth in question had been drilled away years ago by some enthusiastic predecessor.

My dentist also has pictures of his latest overseas trips displayed around his surgery. As if to say "Look, you paid for this!" (See also: Veterinarians' sportscars). These photos have changed, every visit. (At least the vet keeps the porsche for a few years before upgrading). He even has photos on the ceiling, so you can admire his picaresque lifestyle while supine, with a lot of instruments in your mouth, and an old man's face about an inch from yours, with some really weird looking magnifying devices strapped to his head, and a bright light shining in your eyes.

That's the other thing, dentists have some very cool & inexplicable looking gear. Just those seats for instance. An old flatmate & I always wanted a couple of those seats. For watching TV from. Or possibly other recreational activities that might occur, since they recline like that. (Hey, you're reading the blog of a man who once bought a Fiat Bambina because he fancied the sister of the seller & could vividly imagine her & him in the back seat. Or dying trying anyway. And it never happened sadly. Although I was saddled with a derelict bambina for several years anyway). But I digress...

My dentist is a very sharp dresser. Those suits did not come off the rack. He lives not far from me (in the same overpriced street as the vet, actually), and so I run into him a lot & he can manage with just a "Hello" and a lift of one eyebrow to convey the same old message everytime "Been a few years since I saw you & your rotten, dirty, decaying teeth, Sonny!"

He sends quite cool & funny cards to remind me that I heven't been in a while "Missing you! Haven't seen you in ages! Can't remember your face!" etc. And so when I do get around to seeing him, he can pretty much be relied on to say "How are you? Haven't seen you in yonks? Whereabouts did the old filling fall from this time? Take a seat."

"This one?"

And he barks some really weird, dentist jargon at his lovely assistant.

That's another thing too, my dentist always has a lovely assistant. Usually a different one every visit. Maybe he picks them up on his overseas trips?

Can't wait for my next visit! (Tuesday).