Continuing a theme...

"Llew - don't know where to find a man with a funny handshake but I did sit some Extra Mural exams at the Lodge Hall in New Plymouth and that was a bit spooky - photos of all those strangely dressed old codgers looking down from above ! It seems that the anti christ is going to make an appearance on 6/6/06 which is my nephew’s birthday and he will be 6 years old but his name is not Damian." – Chooky

Chooky’s comment in my Holy Grail post below reminds me. I never did tell you who the Antichrist is, did I?

Well y’know, I was all set to, exhaustive googling research suggested the AC was likely to be one of three men:

Joe Ratzinger
George W Bush
David Hasselhoff

I was leaning towards Bush at the time, because I kind of half remembered some stuff I heard at primary school. To the effect that the Nostradamus had written one of his quatrains saying the antichrist would be “the son of a king” and some other stuff about the son becoming king. Or something...

Anyway, back then, school wisdom had it that they must be talking about John-John. That is, JFK Jr. And that the apocalypse would start in the Middle East, shortly after John-John became president of the USA.

Then John-John died in a tragic accident. And who’d have guessed that another son of a former president would emerge to take the er… throne.

But I no longer subscribe to this theory because I don’t think Nostradamus wrote any such quatrain. And if he did, it could mean pretty much anything, or nothing. Like the one about the fiery meteor that came to nothing. And if Nostradamus really knew his shit, he’d have told us where the Holy Grail was.

So… I’m actually writing this to assure Chooky that her nephew Damian isn’t the antichrist, because information did come to hand last year which pretty much confirmed to me who the antichrist really is. I was set to publish it.

And then out of the blue, this albino monk knocked on the door… and made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. And it’s sweet, Ratzy (what we affectionately call him in the firm) put me on the payroll.

But don’t get the wrong idea, it’s not Joe. Ratzy’s just an associate, entrusted with keeping these things under wraps. Think about it, if the Vatican were to reveal and defeat the antichrist, that’d pretty much be the end of it. Aside from keeping the Holy Grail under wraps, and a few other things. No, the antichrist’s agent’s lawyer had called Ratzy & asked him to have the Rules explained to me.

Bottom line is, I cannot divulge the name.

However, The Arcane Rules of Antiquarian Mystery ™ do allow for me to give three, cryptic clues. In fact it is insisted upon, so that the mystery can deepen, and grow. I do not know exactly why this is, but rather than just keep quiet about it, the Rules say that teasers are mandatory. They will appear in the next generation’s version of the Da Vinci Code type thing.

So… I ramble. Here are the clues to what I believe is the identity of the antichrist.:

In arcadia harpo est ergo sum
Tom Cruise
Ellen deGeneres

Just don’t blame me if some weird looking albino knocks on your door.

Oh, and quick update

Handshakes are becoming redundant meaning that it's going to be a lot more difficult for members of secret societies, or members of societies with secrets, as the freemasons like to put it, to recognise each other.

In the future it will be done by slipping the secret word (or mason's word, as the freemasons like to put it) into everyday conversation.

I have it on good authority that one such secret word is "shibboleth". So try it, "It's a bit shibboleth out there eh?"

Now you are forewarned & forearmed. Your bank manager is a good prospect to try it on.

Further update - I did quiz Keith Ng as to what masons & the like would have to do to recognise each other - he helpfully pointed out that they'd use Bluetooth like everyone else.