Thursday, November 01, 2007

Return policy

Conversation at Sounds CD Store, Lambton Quay.

"Hi there, can I exchange this Talking Heads Greatest Hits CD please? Someone bought it about 5 minutes ago & what we really wanted was Stop Making Sense. But you don't have that, so can I exchange it for this Bob Dylan CD?

"Certainly. I'll just get you to fill in this return form."

"Sure. Which bits?"

"The bits I haven't filled in"

"You want my name, address & phone number? Isn't that like, an invasion of privacy?"

"It's our Head Office's policy."

"Why do you want it? Here's the receipt from 5 minutes ago - proof of purchase - are you planning to contact me or something?"

"No, no. It's just that our HO insist on these details."


"Because the CD you returned is no longer sealed. And you may have removed the seal & copied it"

"But you removed the seal before you sold it, and you sold it like, 5 minutes ago, can they be copied that fast? - I watched you just unseal that Dylan CD too."

"It's just the policy - no name & address, no exchange"

"Poo - OK. Rumpelstiltskin, Not That It IS Any Of Your Business - Wellington."

"And phone number?"

"pffft. Thanks so much. Insincere apologies for being grumpy."