Blonde scoring....

Priceless.

noizyboy's noizyblog - Goooallll!

hat tip Noizy.

Celebrity look-a-like.

So I tried this... using the Mr Potato-head photo below.

And it seems (although the sunglasses may have skewed the result), that I look most like 1. Tom Cruise, 2. Lou Reed, and 3. Morihei Ueshiba.

Er... that last one seems to be the out-of-left-field contender. Although given he doesn't look like the sunglass wearing type, maybe this is who I look like most of all?

Hat tip to that well known Britney impersonator Martha.

Wanda Harland: I Britney

Vodka ad goes down badly with Russian women - Bwahahahaha!!

"A liquor company is offering a Russian bride as first prize in a vodka promotion, a gimmick Russian women in New Zealand say is offensive."

New Zealand news on Stuff.co.nz: Vodka ad goes down badly with Russian women

"For the single Kiwi bloke who might not be an All Black or very good looking, this is a chance to get hooked up with somebody pretty hot," said (Chief executive Geoff)Ross.

The image of the woman scrubbing a floor was tongue in cheek, he said.

"The ideal woman for the Kiwi bloke is one who keeps him fed and looked after all day and meets all his needs."

My turn to be stereotypically offensive... isn't vodka like, a chick's drink? Shouldn't they be offering hot Russian grooms?

Reminds me of that used car lot out the Hutt Valley that was giving away massage parlour gift vouchers with every used car bought a few years ago...

Yet another harbour view from 6.45am today.

The day turned out better than expected...

Rhetorica Stupenda

Recently posed to me (and quite probably nicked from that well known American comic - whose name escapes me - who specialises in these sorts of dry aphorisms) ....

If you're in a space-ship travelling at the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the head-lights?

Help! Wilma is missing!

Well I dunno what I've done - I was going to change Wilma's image in the top corner (gone) with Mr Potatohead below, but Mr P's image is too big, and I couldn't be bothered reducing him in size, so I left Wilma as is.

But now she's gone! I've gone & taken the URL out & put it back in & she appears in my profile... but not on the blog.

Any ideas?

What the hey, everyone does it.

How to fix the Winter Olympics

Holecity take a look at the Winter Olympics...

"Doubles Luge: Some friends of ours believe luge of all types should not be considered a sport. We think if anyone has the balls to strap themselves to a little sliver of wood and rocket down a hunk of ice at 90 mph, we're going to give them the benefit of the doubt. But doubles luge, where two hefty people wear skintight rubber-fetish costumes, get into the horizontal reverse cowgirl position, and flop around like a two-headed beached whale in heat, is not something we ever want to see again. Our eyes! They burn! "

SportsHole - How to fix the Winter Olympics:

And while I'm here, is it just me or is TV coverage of the WO shite? And why isn't one of the Sky channels providing some sort of alternative coverage?

Howlybag whining ends. Don't you dare nominate me.

Doctor, doctor...

Watched Grey's Anatomy last night. And i mean, it's OK, it makes me laugh, I think Sandra Oh is pretty amazing, but should probably smile more. And Patrick Dempsey is completely unrecognisable. And is that the gay character from Melrose Place or am I mixing it up with Desperate Housewives?

What struck us mostly about the show, however, which for the uninitiated is about a hospital, a patient or two & the romantic pairings of the people who work there (novel idea for a show eh?), is how many goddamned doctors there are!

You might think: Hospital = doctors. And up until recently, I'd have agreed. But that was before I made two extended visits to our local hospital with an injured person. We were there 4 hours each night. And I swear, we spent 3.5 hours of each night just sitting around because there were no doctors to see us. At first, we were attended to quickly (excepting the 2nd afternoon, when we'd been rung & told to get down there quickly, and when we did, they had no record of us...), but then there was an extended wait for the consultant to confirm the younger doctor's diagnosis, then an extended wait, then x- ray, then an extended wait, then another consultation, and the nurse will come & unplug all those things & pull out all the tubes & will fight you if you try to leave with the nitrous oxide, and take out your drip etc. And then an extended wait again, then the nurse comes & does all of that, except you stand well clear of the nitrous because she's watching you and she looks tough, and then we can go! And it is now 10.30pm, but hey, your shoulder is now back in place & you should get some strength & feeling back in your arm & hand over the next month or so...

I feel bad about moaning, because doubtless they were attending to more serious cases. But still... fuck that.

How's the new phone?

Glad you asked.

I turned down the model with an mp3 player, to get a slightly better quality camera. However, the phone has a built in FM radio, a feature I've long thought a good idea, and I do enjoy plugging myself into Morning Report for the walk into town.

I've also managed to save 4 other radio channels so I can switch between them when necessary.

I have turned on predictive texting, and turned up the font size (where I have been able to figure out how) on most of the screens. So that Hawkeye Llew can read them.

Haven't tried any games yet, nor any of the WAP features, but I have set up a fairly comprehensive contacts list, including a couple of email addresses - mine and photobucket.

And on that note... I'm slowly getting to grips with the camera.





Someone (actually, two someones - a local optometrist, and my dentist) come to the Lawn to whack golf balls around. You can often find one or two that have gone amiss. Someone's been stockpiling them in a pohutukawa tree.

Cruise and Opera have the power

Saw this yesterday. They haven't changed it, so now it's fair to point it out.

The headline says "Cruise & Opera", the article refers to Hanks & Oprah.

New Zealand's source for entertainment news, gossip & music, movie & book reviews on Stuff.co.nz: Cruise and Opera have the power

Nice work guys.

Say it slowly...

Fatwas

Cowboys don't cry

In which we reference two Public Address posts with one blow...

Cowboys don't cry

This was the catchcry of a fellow I went to school with, known by all as "AJ" because these were his initials. A year older than me, clever, incredibly sporty, and unambitious. I last encountered him during a holiday job at a paint factory where he spent his daytime hours driving an electric buggy around towing pallets of paint tins.

He allegedly spent his recreational time in various ritzy bars telling women he was a racing car driver.

Anyhow, at the first sign of a "howlybag", the call would ring around the factory:

"Cowboys don't cry!"

please do visit Island Life & make your nominations.

Left Hand, say hello to Right Hand

Yeah banging on about poor service is a cheap and obvious shot I know – but what the heck, eh? As a passive sport its not bad fun (and it sure beats hunting with Dick Cheney).

I’m sure everyone’s got a tale of woe regarding service provision (sic) that’s a little less than stellar, but my recent experiences with getting Sky Digital (name changed to protect the innocent) installed at home were an invaluable source of fascination with bureaucratic minutiae.

So yeah, after years of resistance, we finally broke down and decided to get Sky. What with the dual attractions of Disney Channel and the impending Soccer World Cup to whet the appetite, we folded like a cheap suit last week.

After a little bit of research we worked out the best installation incentive for us (which meant loads of free pay-per-views), and booked the installation for two weeks hence.

That very same evening (spooky) we received a cold-call from Sky, offering an even better deal (half the install fee plus 2 months free). It was too good to resist, particularly in our weakened state.

So we decided to take the second deal.

I mentioned to the friendly telesales dude that we had an existing installation already booked, but we’d like to take the second deal, which also had in its favour an install scheduled for 2 days hence instead of 2 weeks (by now our anticipation was fevered).

“That’s easy to arrange sir, all you have to do is ring the people with whom you arranged the first installation, explain the situation, and cancel the first deal”

“Uh, sure, but those first people are YOU, aren’t they?” I said, already feeling a little uneasy about the limitless possibilities for cock-ups.

“Oh no sir, while they are part of the same company, we work out of different offices, and you’ll need to contact them direct”.

“Hmmm, OK, well I’ll give them a buzz in the morning”.

So next morning, I rang and cancelled the first deal and installation, no problems.

2 days later on D-Day, P has cancelled her plans to wait patiently at home for the Sky TV installer, who was due between 9 and 12.00. Around 12.00, she rings Sky TV, who announces that they have no record of the scheduled installation and that the Telesales team should have notified them if it was, indeed, arranged.

“Well, it was definitely scheduled through your Telesales area, and I’ve definitely taken the day off work to be here, so it would be great if you could send someone over now” P said.

Miraculously, after a little more coercion from P and a couple of phone calls up the food-chain, an installer arrived to do the job that day at about 3.00pm.

Meanwhile, at the same time I get a strange call at work from Sky TV Telesales.

“Hi, is this Mr L?”

“Yes”, I say

“Mr L, we have been trying to get hold of you for several days now, but we only have your home number, and all we get is your answer machine.”

“Well, that’s because we are usually all at work or school during the day. When you encountered the answer machine, did you by any chance leave a message?”

“-Silence-“

“OK, I’m guessing you didn’t leave a message. Do you want to tell me now?”

“Ah yes Mr L, we were ringing to let you know that your scheduled installation for today cannot be done, and will have to be rescheduled for next Friday”.

“Hmmm, OK, my wife P has taken the day off work today for this installation, and I don’t think either of us will be able to take the day off next Friday. But I think P has already been speaking to Sky today, have you called our house this morning?”

“Ummm, that wasn’t me who rang. I’m not sure who that could have been”

“OK, why don’t you call her now?”

“Sure”.

So this poor fool from Telesales calls P at home.

“Hello Mrs P, I am ringing to apologise. Unfortunately your scheduled installation for today has had to be rescheduled”

“Well” said P, looking at the Sky TV installation dude in our living room busy doing his stuff, “Have you heard the ancient Arabic parable of the left hand talking to the right hand?”

“-confused silence………..”

So is there a moral to the story? – Nah, but there must be some kind of weird inverse mathematical relationship between the monopoly of a service and the inherent difficulties customers face in obtaining it (witness the recent struggles of Keith at Public Address to get a phone service.)

New Toy Alert!

This little fellow is the Nokia 6155. It's not the flashiest phone on the market, but it does all I want & need, and more. There's a similar model with a MP3 player, but not quite as good a camera & I decided I wanted the camera more.

Anyway, that's not important.

Now I need (because this is the first phone I have owned that has this facility) an appropriate ringtone.

I'll take advice - the theme from James Bond (like, because I'm totally cool!), or The Good the Bad & the Ugly (like, because I'm totally cool!)? Both of which sound... like, totally cool.

The stupid frog is not an option.


Ringtones : Telecom New Zealand Limited

Hamilton wins V8 street race

I for one couldn't give a hoot that Wellington missed out (before anyone leaps on me, I also wouldn't have given a hoot had we won it).

Hamilton would seem the perfect place for such an event: the picturesque river beside which the course will presumably run; a receptive population for whom the term "petrol-head" seems as custom-made as their vehicles...

My only question is... when the race actually starts, who will notice any difference?

New Zealand, world, sport, business & entertainment news on Stuff.co.nz: Hamilton wins V8 street race

Hey, aren't you Bilbo Baggins?

I sat next to Ian (Bilbo) Holm on a flight between London & Bangkok once, in I think, 1995. It was a hugely crowded flight & cattle class was living up to its name.

I looked at the guy, and I knew instantly it was Bilbo, even though he hadn't yet played Bilbo, but I was familiar enough with his work.

I wondered what he was doing in economy, I mean, even then he was very well known in the UK, and fairly well known elsewhere as a result of films like Alien. Not sure if the Sweet Hereafter was out by then... someone later suggested that as the flight was so full, that was the only seat he could get.

Anyway, I could tell he wasn't happy about being there, he told me as much. He resented having someone sitting next to him too. Even someone as charming & interesting as me. He didn't talk much, but it was a long flight & I managed to wheedle some information reluctantly out of him.

He told me he was an engineer of some type, who regularly spent time in Thailand. I refrained from my gut reaction "Hah! You're Ian Holm!" reasoning that he was irritated enough & clearly valued his anonymity.

I refrained also from asking him what it was like working with Sigourney Weaver. That might have given the game away. I speculated that perhaps he was off to Thailand to play a curmudgeonly engineer & was getting into character. Or that he was embarrassed to be a well known actor who could only stump up the fare for a seat in economy class. Or that he was so tight fisted that that's all he was prepared to pay for.

I expected the flight attendants to molly coddle him. But they didn't. I guess you'd have to be Brad Pitt in economy class for that.

I wish I could remember what he was reading, probably something very worthy involving a character he might one day portray. But I can recall that it was neither a script, nor an engineering plan or report.

Anyway, to this day I regret being too polite to call his bluff & ask him if he wasn't really an engineer, but an acclaimed British actor of the stage & screen. Hey, we could have hit it off & he might have stayed with us when he was in NZ for the Lord of the Rings! (and since we're fantasising, why wasn't it Cate Blanchett?)

Can anyone tell me if Ian Holm was filming in Thailand in the mid 90s?

Chuck Cunningham syndrome

Fascinating! I for one, have always wondered why, in Happy Days, Richie's older brother disappeared after season 1 & was never ever mentioned again. (See also My 3 Sons).

Many more examples. For instance, what happened to all the other major characters who featured in the novel & film version of MASH, but not the series...

Chuck Cunningham syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Seasonal musing

Where do all the extra florists come from? Is there some temp agency that keeps the names of florists on the books for special occasions?

Must be.

And how do they get all the roses to peak on that one day? Where do they all come from anyway?

And come to think of it... who cares?

Meanwhile on the home front, was proudly astonished to have the young one come & tell me at 8am one morning last week "There's a great movie on that you should be taping!"

And without further ado, I can reveal that despite having no idea who Dr Ernesto Guavero became, she was telling me she'd seen the Motorcycle Diaries earlier in the week on Sky, and respectfully thought I should be recording it.

As it happens, I was recording it & gratefully asked if she could refrain from changing channels until it was finished.

She & I also watched The Godfather one night last week. And I can report that that movie STILL has it. I look forward to number 2 in the near future, which in case I haven't mentioned it before, is THE best movie ever made.

In weekend news, I spent most of it with a chainsaw in hand, thinning out the self seeded forest down the back of the house. It's starting to look nice now. Mrs Llew filled the gap created by my newish brick wall with compost & replanted the herbs & lettuces.

Oh, and most joyous of all, we are now getting to our front door down our newly completed steps. Gaining access through our own property is quite the novelty. Still a long way before the job is finished, this particular 3 month job was started last July... luckily, we're not paying by the hour.

And I've asked this before & elsewhere... but given the choice of going to Boulot or the Matterhorn for dinner, which would YOU choose & why?

What's in a name anyway?

There are, I think, nearly 800 people in my organisation. Nationwide that is. I believe there are maybe 130 people in the building I work at. People come & go, although there are a core group of people who have been here for decades... and people move between business units quite a lot.

I'm often a little dismayed at how few names I know of the people I work with. This is exascerbated by the fact that everyone seems to know me...

"Hello Abyssinia" they say in the lift (I was born in the brief time when it was all the rage for parents to name their kids after obscure countries).

"Hi... er..." and I'm thinking Kyle? Kelvin? And generally fudging it. it's particularly embarrassing if this happens shortly after I've sat in a 3 hour meeting with Kevin.... or Ken... or whatever. And it'll turn out his name is David. But that doesn't matter, I'll have forgotten by the next time I see him.

I'm one of those people for whom newly introduced names just pass through me like radiowaves.

"Hi, I'm John."
"Abyssinia, pleased to meet you er... um..."
"John"
"yes... of course... pleased to meet you Colin."

My wife tells a story of when in her very first job, she was some executive's PA, and he called her in one day to say there was some guy in reception, whose name he couldn't recall.

"I can't remember if he's John, or Ian, can you go down & get him & make sure you introduce yourself & get his name? Then quietly tell me before you usher him into my office."

So my wife went down to reception, greeted the guy by introducing herself.

"Hello, I'm Tanzania, Don's PA."
"Pleased to meet you Tanzania, I'm Ian"

So she took him back upstairs, slipped into her boss's office ahead of him & whispered,

"It's John."

Cuban Dreaming

It's definitely something about that street. Now it's (and has been before) the Anvil House, Civic Chambers end. And oddly, I've worked in both of those buildings in previous lives...

And the big (non existent) carparking buildings that are opposite them (where the Michael Fowler Centre & council buildings really are.) Which I often find myself in.

And in this version (which I know I've dreamt several times before to some extent) I am also to be found at or outside a nightclub approximately where the Loaded Hog is (is it still the Loaded Hog?), which is next door to my inner city apartment. In Bond Street, not that far from Anvil House. It used to be the Bond St Tavern, and the Anvil House crowd used to drink there regularly.

For some reason last night, I was sitting outside the apartment, in the little lane that separates it from the nightclub, and inexplicably I was clad in a dressing gown, trying to peer through the windows of my apartment to watch the TV. Then it dawned on me... the TV would be easier to see if I were inside... but then I wasn't the guy in the dressing gown at all & I was watching him instead. As he did a little dance that alarmed his housekeeper.

I'm not sure, I may be missing important bits out.

Later, or maybe earlier, I was on a ship, berthing at Panama, where my friend Ed & I watched a guy foolishly swimming with crocodiles & being attacked by them. I may have been dreaming this because Panama is the only place I have seen crocodiles in the wild. But in a startling coincidence, I see David at Darwinian Evolution has blogged about guys swimming with crocodiles today...

In other coincidental news... Ed flew out of Wellington yesterday bound for a week's holiday in Cuba.

But no journalists last night, which is probably a good thing.

The things you see...

Anyone familiar with the sight of that guy that wanders around town with part of a sheepskin rug on his head?

I dunno, mid 30s perhaps, normal looking guy.

Except...

He gives the air of being homeless - aside from the sheepskin rug, he's often wearing some odd clothes... old trousers, sometimes some sort of woven apron, an old bag slung over his shoulder, and a fur coat that looks like it was made for a woman...

Well today I rode in a lift with him. Still had the rug & the bag. But wearing a nice suit. And sneakers.

Some people saw him as the lift door closed & burst out laughing. Which was not good for my composure during the ride to the 2nd floor...

Dreams

Dunno what it is recently (like, intermittently over the last few months), but I've been waking up in the middle of dreams. Now, I don't know if it's just me dreaming this... but I'm wondering if I'm visiting the same places in my dreams. Alternatively, I may be visiting different places, and just dreaming that they're the same places I've dreamed about before, or dreaming that I know these places well.

Since I only remember dreams when I have woken up in the middle of them, I have no idea if I'm visiting these places & people each night, although it seems possible.

When I was a teenager, I read all the Dennis Wheatley books, the ones about satanism & the like. Wheatley espoused this theory, that people DO actually visit each other in their dreams, so that if I dreamed one night that Mainlander Mike & I are drinking in a bar someplace, then Mike has had the same dream.

I discreetly tested this theory years ago (not with Mike), and I think I can safely say that it is bollocks, the people you meet in dreams are just figments of your subconscious mind. And sometimes even, I can dream of one person, yet assign in my mind the name of another person that I know to them.

It's so confusing...

But I get the impression I'm visiting Cuba Street (Wellington, not Petone). Although it's not Cuba Street at all, in my dreams I think "Cuba Street", but they bear little resemblance.

In fact, I seem to be visiting a small number if antique/2nd hand stores in Cuba Street. Which don't actually exist. But they're all run by crusty old men. One has dusty old luggage for sale, and old milk urns & the like. Another has old posters & books, and the old man who owns it seems to know me. Further, last night I was rummaging around the books & posters with er... a well known journalist that I have never met (his first appearance in my dreams as far as I can tell). I was trying to show him a brochure of the new mobile phone I want to buy. I mean. WTF? Although I do actually want to buy THAT phone & have a brochure at hand...

Further, when we got home (not my home, but appeared to be some flat on the Terrace), my wife (although, not my actual wife, but in fact someone I DO know...) came home with a lot of friends & chinese takeaways & appeared to know this journalist quite well. I was irritated because I wanted to watch an unidentified DVD & did not want to socialise. Also, I'm not a fan of chinese takeaways.

Then I woke up.

In previous dreams, I have just been in a hurry to get someplace rather urgently, but have ended up just rummaging through old luggage & milk urns & the like instead. Possibly because I have no idea where I am in a hurry to get to. Also, to some extent in those dreams, Cuba Street resembles something from Blade Runner...

What can it all mean?

Missing diver found alive

Way to go Rob Hewitt!!

New Zealand, world, sport, business & entertainment news on Stuff.co.nz: Missing diver found alive

My Sky!

Hot shit! I want one!

One out of the box by Russell Brown | New Zealand Listener

More on the subject from Graham Reid, here.

3 conversations (in the car).

Me: The car is really filthy.
Tempura: Hey, Marzipan, I've got a great idea for how you can earn your pocket money this weekend!
Marzipan: Wash the car? OK.

The next day, Tempura & Marzipan are out driving.

T: Hey, look at those girls over there, offering a car wash for $4!
M: Aw... yeah, but that'll be real low rent, bargain basement stuff. Not like I'll do.

Later that day.

T: Look, Aloysius, those girls washing cars.
Me: Excellent!
M: But I'm going to wash the car for my pocket money!
Me: But now we know the going rate!
M: Hey, but that'll be a really crappy car wash! $4! It's an insult to a car like this. Um... how do you wash a car anyway?
Me: Why don't you check "How To Do Just About Everything" book!

And I can report that the car now gleams, the instructions in the new bible having been followed to the letter. Although I have no idea what the cost was...

Christmas comes twice a year.

Not sure how it happened, but in the weekend a bag of unopened Christmas presents was discovered hidden in an obscure corner.

Mostly crappy kids' stuff (a voice controlled car that retailed it seems, for $9.95). But one of them was for me! A massive tome called "How To Do Just About Everything" by Courtney Rosen.

How to get on TV (tick)
How to carve a turkey (tick)
How to become a celebrity
How to write a business plan

You name it!

It's a very cool book. Amazingly, we have yet to think of something that it doesn't cover.

Amazon.com: How to Do Just About Everything: Books: Courtney Rosen

Sun, Sea & Sand

Honda Prelude makes emergency landing in Otaki paddock.

The girls were at the supermarket, I was in the shower after a hard day's chainsawing. Suddenly, the extractor fan stopped. Power cut I figured, and confirmed that shortly afterwards by trying all the lights.

So I popped next door & asked if their power was out too - it was. Someone took out a powerline, apparently.

Later, I got a call on the mobile "Have you heard about the crash?"

"No" I said, but I have heard about the power..."

"Well, all the traffic to the beach is blocked, we're having to drive around the long way. You should go & have a look, it's just up the road."

And so Wilma & I went & had a look. Along with several hundred local residents & holiday makers. The emergency crew were very accommodating of us rubberneckers.











It seems a low flying Honda was forced to crash land through a concrete power pole, and about 50m of farm fencing, before coming to rest in the paddock beside the road. Luckily no-one was seriously hurt.

We surmise it was trying to overtake & encountered traffic coming in the other direction, forcing ther pilot to make an emergency landing. Power was restored within the hour.

Life Imitates SunnyO

"Hide set to follow Norm's dancing act"

Stuff.co.nz: Hide set to follow Norm's dancing act:

Don't say you weren't warned!

And so... onto the long weekend

And here's to a mad-dog free couple of days off from the grind.

In my near future I see sun, sand, water, BBQs, chainsaws & wine... (although the last two won't be at the same time.)

Have a good one y'all!

World famous in Welly...

Mate... already spoke to one person in the lift today who said she'd spotted a bunch of blokes dressed as Jamaican Netballers in a Featherston Street pub.

ChCh-Changes: Rugby Sevens this Friday and Saturday

Today's dog mauling story from Otaki

Honestly, while there are a lot of dogs in Otaki, and some (not many) do seem to wander about without their owners in evidence... (although to be fair, a lot of these wandering dogs actually belong to visiting holiday makers, not residents), it's not like you have to carry a baseball bat to protect yourself & your pet.

Or then again...

New Zealand, world, sport, business & entertainment news on Stuff.co.nz: Policeman hides his dog after attacks

Bull mastiffs are pretty scary dogs too.

Ticket to the Sevens available (Saturday)

If you're up for it, Mike has one available - just follow the link, leave him a comment (presumably with some way for him to contact you), and you never know, you may find yourself squeezing into a Jamaican Netball uniform & dreadlocks.

ChCh-Changes: Anyone want to come to the Sevens tomorrow?

Any questions, feel free to ask.

Don't you love that obliging offer?

A friend of mine used to respond to any university lecturers who offered this assistance, by raising his hand & asking "Who cut your hair?"

I prefer more of a challenge. And so I just replied to our helpdesk with:

What is the capital of Uzbekistan?

And fairplay, they came back to me within about 20 seconds with "Tashkent".

I need some questions in reserve that are not so easily googled...

Know your Pit Bull

This is the famous beast itself, the American Pit Bull terrier. Lovely looking dog eh?

However, American Staffies & others are commonly regarded as Pit Bull terriers too.

This is a Bull terrier & is, I think, what most people believe is a Pit Bull. They are not related. Ugly beast though.

Pit bull - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Unsurprisingly, there is dispute about this Wikipedia entry, mostly about how vicious or otherwise these dogs are.

SunnyO TV # 2 - Destination Lost

WTF?

I kept expecting Gilligan to turn up.

So we rushed & failed to get dinner ready in time & ended up in front of the TV eating off trays...

...expecting a Lost special telling us what had happened in the first season. And it was pretty incomprehensible, but I explained to the viewing team that the show had a reputation for being innovative & edgy & this incomprehensible flashback show was probably intended to be that way.

Then it ended & the real recap began in somewhat more linear fashion. Maybe I read the Listener wrong. Anyway, we then realised we'd just watched the final episode of season 1.

So we settled back down, having done the dishes during the ad breaks.

And still... I can't get over the feeling we've seen it all before - Gilligans Island meets Twin Peaks? Or is that too easy? Anyway, it's not quite right. Gilligan's Island meets the Twilight Zone.

In the end, it's doubtful we'll tune in for season 2. So maybe scratch that one off the list.

Interesting to note that while Gilligan didn't appear, Mira Furlan from Babylon 5 did.

SunnyO TV. Sensing Murder. Medium viewing.

We don't watch much TV at SunnyO. This is despite having approximately 90 TV channels at our beck & call. It's just that there never seems to be much on. I tape movies in the middle of the night to watch later. In fact, a freshly minted recording of Bad Santa should be sitting in the machine right now waitng for me to get home. Come to poppa....

Mrs Llew is a New Year's Resolution sort of gal. I won't bore inspire you with all her current resolutions, but one of the more notable is that this year, she intends to get "into" more TV. The crappier the better. Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, um... can't think what else is on the list, although she was very interested to hear that a programme called Lost is very popular in some circles. I'm guessing the BattleStar Galactica is exempt. But who knows really. Actually, I quite like the look of Criminal Minds, that IS Mandy Patinkin isn't it? "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father: prepare to die." He's in the SunnyO hall of fame because he partook in the very best swordfight (along with Cary Elwes as the Dread Pirate Roberts) ever committed to film. The best. Ever. Run out now & rent or buy the Princess Bride.

And oooh... I notice flipping through what's on TV2 that Duck Dodgers is screening... Cool!

Anyway... Sensing Murder. We started our New year's viewing badly by arriving 20 minutes into the show. For a while there I was convinced it was the TV3 weather woman hosting, but noted later that it is Rebecca Gibney, swaying eerily before the usual "supernatural" backlighting visuals. I can't remember, but if the soundtrack wasn't produced by a theremin, the spirit of theremin was certainly present.

The gimmick is that a little known murder case is exhumed, and a couple of mediums (media?) are put on the job to uncover new leads, and if possible, solve the crime.

Last night, there was this woman, and I guess, bearing in mind that we're seeing edited highlights, what she managed to channel from the spirit world was pretty impressive. From nothing but a photo of the victim (25 year old Luana Williams, who disappeared in 1986), she divined the victim's surname, where she lived, where she once worked (previously unknown to the police), an ex-boyfriend (never a suspect), and possibly, where she died & is buried.

The other medium was a little less impressive (in the bits we saw anyway), and when they fed him some of the new leads thrown up by the first medium, he claimed his spirit world broadcasts were being crossed with another, more recent (and more recently reported) murder that took place in the same place. Seemed like an easy out for him.

But then I've always been skeptical of this sort of thing since I took a message for a flatmate from a clairvoyant moaning that my flatmate had not turned up for her appointment. I mean... shouldn't the clairvoyant have known in advance? In fact, I've said this before, why do you even have to make an appointment with a clairvoyant? Can't you just decide when you're going & they can call you if it doesn't suit them?

I digress. The show then cheated, and brought in a third medium... who apparently quite independently led them to a spot in the middle of a 170 hectare park in the middle of nowhere, just 5 metres away from where the first woman had led them earlier, and stated "She's here!"

This guy even dug a big hole & got quite upset that he didn't find her.

And fair play, they brought in a truckload of people & equipment & dug a lot of holes. And still didn't find her. Although I was a bit underwhelmed by the guy with a machine who said "there's definitely something solid like a box down here. This IS a burial site". Then when they dug about 2 metres down & came across a quite insignificant root, backtracked with "Well, this could be what the machine picked up". Burial site my arse.

But still, at this point I was rooting for them to bring a big digging machine in & really take the place apart. Native trees and all. Because while I'm not entirely convinced that we weren't shown a lot of mis-steps & red herrings, what they did show us was really interesting, and let's face it, if they'd found her, it would have been fantastic.

BTW: I'm "sensing" that someone from TVNZ came here recently looking for Alasdair Kincaid... look, if this leads to some sort of Frank Flash or Friday Night revival, I want a finders' fee.