Just in by email...

The truth, and nothing but the truth

SALES: "You want answers?"

ACCOUNTING: "I think I'm entitled."

SALES: "You want answers??"

ACCOUNTING: "I want the truth!!"

SALES: "You can't handle the truth!!" Son, we live in a world that requires revenue.... who's going to find it? You...in accounting? We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You scoff at Sales & Marketing and you curse at our incentives. You have that luxury... You have the luxury of not knowing what we know, that while tragic, current expenses are driving new sales. And that our efforts and tactics, while grotesque and incomprehensible by you, drives REVENUE!

You don't want to know the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at staff meetings....you want us on that sale; you NEED us on that sale! We use words like comps, upgrades, discounts; we use these words as the backbone of the time spent sucking up to a customer and negotiating something....you use them as a punch line! I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain ourselves to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of income I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up the phone, solicit some customers and book a sale.

Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!

ACCOUNTING: "Did you expense the lap dances?"

SALES: "I did my job..."

ACCOUNTING: (shouts) "Did you expense the lap dances?????"

SALES: (shouting) "You're goddamn right I expensed the lap dances!!"

No idea where it came from, other than my mate Geoff from Sales in Melbourne.