O!: True Wellywood Story - Hairy Maclary

In 1983 Tauranga based children's author Lynley Dodd published Hairy Maclary from Donaldson's Dairy unleashing what became a multimedia canine entertainment industry upon an unsuspecting world.

The Hairy Maclary books describe an idyllic world where cute dogs & cats (and a duck) are free to roam the neighbourhood getting into good natured scrapes. The reality however, was quite different. Here is the O!: True Wellywood Story of the real Hairy Maclary and friends.

Hairy Maclary
Hairy was based on a real life mix breed terrier called Rufus. He lived at the Dew Dropp In Dairy at Mt Maunganui, until in 1990, when the Dairy went bankrupt & was replaced by the Patel Superette, part of a larger chain extending through the whole North Island. Rufus moved with his owners to a seedier part of Tauranga, and became tabloid fodder after a string of run-ins with the Dog Control branch of the Tauranga Council & several high profile incarcerations. The NZ Truth even ran a series of articles in support of Tauranga's notorious "War on Terrierism". Rufus' incessant roaming was eventually attributed to his never being "fixed" and he was finally forced by court order to undergo chemical castration. In his later years, he kept out of the public eye except for one notorious incident arising from his latter years addiction to fast food. The burger bar in question, adjacent to the Patel Superette, did not press charges in return for endorsement from the "real" Hairy Maclary. Long afflicted by arthritic hip joints, Rufus was finally peacefully put to sleep after suffering chronic kidney failure as a result of his years long high fat diet.

Slinki Malinki
Slinki Malinki, the cute cat who became a mischievous thief at night, was based on an infamous stray who terrorised Tauranga residences for several years stealing women's underwear from unattended clotheslines. He, or she was never apprehended, but spotted once or twice leaving the scenes of the crimes.

Schnitzel von Krumm
The real Schnitzel von Krumm was a dachshund called Werner (dubbed "Werner Schnitzel" by the tabloids) who lived two doors down from the Dew Dropp Inn dairy, and along with Rufus, was notorious for roaming through the neighbourhood night, fighting, ripping up rubbish sacks, and pestering the homes of neighbours whose bitches were in heat. Proving that size isn't everything, it is thought that Werner may have sired up to 500 little Schnitzels over the course of his lifetime. Indeed, in the wake of the books' popularity, the designer dog industry in Tauranga has experienced something of a boom with the marketing of such Werner descended breeds as: Schnitza-doodles, German Schnitzels, St Berschnitzels and Cocker Schnitzels. So ubiquitous have these new breeds become that it was recently reported that movie star Russell Crowe bought a breeding pair of Schnit-Bull Terriers to keep on his Australian ranch. Werner died in 1995 at the ripe old age of 15, alleged to have been fed poisoned polish sausage by an irate local chihuahua breeder who failed to appreciate the impending lucrative opportunities. The case was never proven.

Scarface Claw
Actually the good boy of the bunch, Scarface was in reality, Tiddles, a domestic shorthair belonging to one little old lady all his life. Tiddles kept out of the public eye & lives to this day, with his owner in a retirement village on the outskirts of Tauranga.

Zachary Quack
Two words: "Duck Season".