Gather Round, we have stories to tell...

A long time ago, in a government department far, far away... (actually, it's just down the road from here)... Systems Guy & Network Guy were instructed by their IT Manager to visit the Christchurch & Dunedin branch offices on Tuesday & Wednesday respectively, and upgrade their network & operating systems. Details are fuzzy, this was a century ago & probably involved changing the paper cups joined with string, to polystyrene.

Systems & Network Guys arrived in the Christchurch office shortly after lunch, with their overnight bags, deciding that checking in to their hotel could wait till later. They spent the afternoon schmoozing with the locals, fielding all sorts of questions, and solving lots of little problems. They also inspected a PC installation that had been ordered urgently, delivered & set up with speed, and discovered it was living in it's own little office, with a joy-stick attached to it. It's always a pleasure to see the fruits of your labour, they agreed.

They were gods. Young(ish), smart, attractive, charming, professional. And above all, helpful.

Once the office staff left for the day, the real work began. Backing up the systems, swapping hardware, upgrading software, fixing the problems, reloading from backups & doing it all over again. And again.

By 9pm the boys were finished. The network & systems were up & running & tested.

On the way to a taxi stand to check in to their hotel, Network Guy observed that he had always liked Christchurch, he used to live there. Indeed, at some stage in his interesting life, he had been a DJ for a local radio station. Suddenly he stopped mid reminscence, and pointed out a trendy looking bar across the road, Route 66. "I know this place! You'll like it, let's pop in for a drink."

Systems Guy, not normally a drinker, agreed it had been a long night, "Bloody good idea". Outside the bar, a sign announced "Tuesday Night, Route 66 Dance Competition". Both men thought this might be a laugh.

Inside, the barkeep, on spotting the two "suits" with their overnight bags asked "Just arrived in town?"

"No" said Systems Guy
"Yes" said Network Guy at the same time.

Looking confused, but amused, the barkeep agreed to look after their bags & served them drinks.

The place was quite nice, roomy, tables & stools, and taking up one whole side of the large room, a short stage, with a runway jutting out, at the end of which was what I think they call a dance pole. The clientelle was young, smart, and it has to be said, remarkably attractive. Music was playing over some sort of sound system, and a DJ lurked behind his console in one corner.

A couple of drinks into their visit, the DJ announced that the dance competition was resuming. the music was cranked up, and there followed a succession of dancers, some individually, some in pairs, some in small groups, who bopped, gyrated... pogoed even, before bowing to polite applause & making way for the next act.

After about an hour of this, there was a short break, after which the DJ promised that "the normal Route 66 dancers would perform". Systems Guy looked at Network Guy quizzically, "Hang on, you'll see" Network Guy assured.

And indeed, after the break, the stage was occupied by a young, dark haird woman of athletic build, whose dancing was a cut above the previous acts. Added to this, halfway through her number, she very elegantly began to disrobe.

"WTF?!!" said Systems Guy.
"I TOLD YOU YOU'D LIKE THIS PLACE!!" roared Network Guy, over the tumultous applause Athletic Girl was receiving.

Now Systems Guy was a bit confused, Route 66 didn't seem like a strip club, at least half the clientelle were women for starters. He'd been to one or two such places in the past, and there, the only women are on stage.

The evening progressed, the drinks flowed freely, and a succession of young, beautiful dancers - both women & men - took the stage & did their stuff, down to the nitty gritty for some of them, just down to their smalls for others. Systems Guy began to think that he & Network Guy were the only people in the place who weren't strippers. But hey, who was he to complain.

Many drinks later, the boys noticed a very attractive, voluptuous woman was watching them. They discussed this for a short while, then Network Guy stood up, announced loudly "We HAVE to have her! Even if we have to pay for her!" And lurched across the room. Sensing impending disaster, Systems Guy tried to stand up, then relaxed when Network Guy got within a few metres of the young woman & veered off instead to the mens' room. The woman stopped watching them after that.

Around about midnight now, our two heroes were completely trolleyed, the DJ announced that there would be a free for all dance off, & prizes for the most outrageous.

At 2am, two dishevelled "suits" arrived at their hotel to check in. Well watered, unfed. Systems Guy asked if they did 24 hour room service. They didn't. So he ordered breakfast instead, asked for a 5am wake-up call so they could make their 7am flight to Dunedin. Network Guy, utterly blitzed & mumbling incomprehensively, retired to his room to empty the mini bar of snacks.

Later that morning, two very bleary IT professionals were on their way to Dunedin. Network Guy rummaged in his hand luggage, produced a bottle of Pink Chardon, and enquired politely "Have you any idea why this is in my bag?"

Systems Guy informed him "You won it in the dance competition last night."
Network Guy groaned mournfully.

Dunedin was horrible that day. Much later on, Systems Guy discoverd that Route 66 was an amateur strip bar.

... and now, by all means do check out this blog, belonging to one of the smartest, most attractive, charming & professional Network Guys you could ever meet. He's a great dancer too.