Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Darth Sidious & Associates (Architects to the Desperate) company offices, September 2005

The phone on Sidious' desk rang, "The surveyor is here to see you Mr Sidious".

"Send the idiot in" came the gruff response.

A rather stooped, gaunt man, wearing a grey macintosh coat & a tatty trilby hat entered the room.

"Preacherman" said Sidious, not bothering to even look up, "Why is it we use you again?"

"I'm cheap" said the man, blanching slightly "And my credentials from the army surveying corps are unverifiable."

"Oh yes..." Sidious looked up finally, and noting the scrapes & bruises on the man's face asked "What happened to you?"

"A job I was doing for Don Vino Minestrone last month... um... encouraging some good folk to relinquish some land Don Minestrone requires..."

"Not so easily encouraged eh?"

"Well it was going quite well until we were interrupted by a rabid, flashing eyed ovine, who roughed me up & turned me off the property..."


"Yes, Champignon the Wonder Sheep!"

"Well I'll be... I thought he was a myth."

"A very obstinate myth."

"Well..." said Sidious, considering the situation, "to the matter at hand... have you checked your measurements for that job in Kelburn? The troublesome car deck?"

"Yes, I've run the plans past the council here & also took the liberty of showing them to some of my old defense force contacts."


"NASA are complaining, as drawn the car deck will be visible from space & may pose a navigational hazard for future Space Shuttle missions."

"I thought that might be the case... so I've taken the liberty to shrink the plans to something more befitting a suburban front garden, rather than something capable of landing the concorde on."

"Very wise... the client will be well pleased I'm sure."

"Yes, well... no thanks to you. Tell me, is there a single job you've done for me that has gone well?"

"Um.. well... I AM very cheap!"

"I know..." Sidious sighed... "Well while you're here, I have a contract for some work required by a very special client... your passport is up to date? Do you know anything abour levies? Have you ever been to New Orleans?"

"Halliburton! I do like working with them.... I surveyed the existing levies actually!"

"That figures...."