Anything but elementary

THE ADVENTURES OF SHERLOCK HOLMES | A TELEVISION HEAVEN REVIEW

I loved this series. Just as I loved the stories & novels from which it sprang. And this TV Heaven review is right on the money, the character of Dr John Watson was never supposed to be a sidekick buffoon. He was a man of action.

I'd never heard of Jeremy Brett before this series aired. Although later I came across a screening of My Fair Lady & recognised Eliza's spurned suitor as the young Sherlock. Cripes, he sang!

And some time later, I searched the web for the cast details of an old UK series based on the Three Musketeer books - I believe they might have done all five of them (I read them all while travelling through France once), but I know for sure that they adapted the first and also the Man in the Iron Mask. I could remember that Brian Blessed played Porthos, but I wanted to know who played D'Artagnan.

Eventually, I did come across the information I wanted - D'Artagnan was played by none other than the dashing, young Jeremy Brett.

BTW: If you're looking for faithful adaptations of the Musketeer books, the best are certainly the old Richard Lester movies starring Michael York. The only quibble I have is that when they adapted 20 Years After, they changed Milady de Winter's murderous son into Milady de Winter's murderous daughter & cast Kim Cattrell from Sex & the City in the role.

Ratfinder General

Following the great mouse-in-the-house-hunt, Wilma surprised us all in the weekend by catching a rat.

She was lolling in the sun in the garden, doing pretty much nothing as I wandered past out to the paddock to check on a bald sheep.

When I returned just a few minutes later, she was in the same spot, but had a freshly killed rat!

We have no idea how she caught it, or where it was when she did.

And then a few days later, as in earlier this week, she was on her morning walk through the Bot Gardens, and she suddenly dashed into the bushes (not far from the Cable Car), scrabbled around briefly, and emerged with another rat!

We used to call her the Applefinder General, because she can spot an apple from 50 metres, but now she clearly has the scent of far more interesting game.

Although we let her eat the apples.

Baghdad, 1991.

The thin, weatherbeaten man raised his head & squinted into the morning sun. The foot traffic near the Al Khadimiya Mosque was heavy. Mostly refugees, a few traders on their way to market, and a scattering of miltary police looking for excuses to harass the refugees, particularly any Kurds looking for passage south.

"Allah saves!" he called out. No-one paid attention.

"Damn this heat", he thought to himself. He never really got used to it, but always managed to get the Middle Eastern jobs because as Albert, his old comrade, pointed out, the Agency knew he could "do" Arab. And Jewish come to that. And it helped that he was fluent in several local dialects.

"Mohammed sees your soul!" he offered to the throngs.

"Poor devils" he mused, regarding the passing crowds, "Most of them are more concerned with where their next meal is coming from rather than their mortal souls. Still, the preacher gig had served him well over the years. He was quite a well known figure actually, excepting that ironically, no-one ever paid him any attention. The odd person might wonder about the long absences from his traditional spot now & then, but they probably thought he was travelling, maybe on a street corner in Basra, or elsewhere spreading the word. And indeed that was the truth, except that "elsewhere" was further than they could imagine. "And best not to mention the lengthy vacations in Vegas" he thought to himself.

Baghdad had its attractions though, enough hashish palaces had survived the bombing to keep him occupied in his off-duty hours. And he knew a small group of compliant bellydancers who helped keep him warm in the cold nights. His favourite was a voluptuous woman called Panta, "And by Allah she certainly is at times.", he would muse.

He was here at the behest of his country's allies. While the US had baulked at invading the city & unseating Hussein, they were keen to have someone on the ground, someone unknown & unconnected directly with any American interests, on the lookout for potential insurgent movements. The manic street preacher guise gave him the freedom to travel pretty much unnoticed anywhere he liked. And talk to, or at anyway, a wide range of people.

A jeep full of journalists drove by. "On their way back to their hotel for luchtime gins, I expect." How he wished he could and join them. They had some very good contacts with some of the female aid workers & red Cross nurses... but breaking cover was out of the question.

it looked like it was going to be a long, hot and boring summer.

Just then, a man came running down the street pursued by police. It was his Shi'a contact, code named "The Fez". He'd only met him the week before, the Fez had been looking out for him & had clearly been observing for several days before approaching with the code-phrases.

"Looks like we're in for a snow-storm" said the Fez, guardedly.
"How do you know that's YOUR camel?" replied the preacher.

"Heads up," the man thought, as the Fez ran past, giving him a sideways glance that had desperation written all over it. He reached for his leather bound copy of the Quran, in which was concealed his service revolver, throwing knife, and several thousand dollars of various currencies... "...here's trouble."

For Michelle

Right below the link in the previous post...

My 3 Sons

The eldest son got married off & left to become a... psychologist...

A Martian Blog

Today's (affectionate) WTF? post

Barzoomian of Mars

I came across this during my daily visit to David Farrar to see if he's linked to me yet...

Makes me wish my dad was alive to see it, he was a big fan of Edgar Rice Burrough's Barsoom books.

A lot of useful information here, if you're for instance, doing a school project on Martians... and he looks nothing like Ray Walston.

OK, I cheated & looked it up

Written by the legendary Addrisi Brothers


"Soft and sweet, wise and wonderful

Oooh, our mystical, magical Nanny

Since the day that Nanny came to stay with us

Fantastic things keep happening

Is there really magic in the things she does?

Or is love the only magic thing that Nanny brings?

You know our Nanny showed us

You can make the impossible happen

Nanny told us

Have a little bit of faith and lots of love

Phoebe Figalilly is a silly name

And so many silly things keep happening

What is this magic thing about Nanny

Is it love....or is it magic?"


Nanny and the Professor

All this... because John Mills died this week & he appeared in a couple of episodes as Nanny's father (he really was her father).

Best quote of the weekend

Following M's week away familiarising herself with all that is best on TV such as Shortland St, Neighbours, Home & Away...

SunnyO: Good Morning America!

Came:

"And don't get me started on McLeod's Daughters!"

The things you see when you're out without your camera.

Tradition has it that the best views of Kapiti, The South Island, Mts Ruapehu & Taranaki... will occur those weekends I have neglected to pack the camera.

And in all truth, Saturday evening was a Graeme Sydney evening on the Kapiti & South Island fronts, but low cloud obscured the distant volcanoes.

However, my forgetting tha camera does mean that you are spared the sight of a bald black sheep.

Not bald, like just shorn, but bald like Friar Tuck, but not her head, just pretty much all along her back!

I had loads planned on Friday, but ended up spending most of the morning penning the sheep so I could get a closer look at this problem.

First of all it was a dead sprint back to the house to get the small farming bible. And read up on ovine ailments. Fly strike seemed most likely. Although the sheep in question didn't look ill. Apart from losing a lot of wool.

And in fact she was surprisingly full of beans as it took me two hours to get her penned. Then Master Tim joined us & we had a good old look through her wool. Her skin was unbroken, there was no sign of flystrike, although I trimmed the wool back around the edges & liberally sprayed with flystrike medication.

Then, I consulted a vet, who told me that if it wasn't flies (and it didn't at this stage look like it was), that it could be a number of things. None of which I could really do anything about. But it is a good sign that she is not sickening.

So it's keep an eye on her now, make sure she's fed & watered & has shade & shelter and hope the wool regrows.

I might get them all sheared again soon. before the worst of winter hits. At least then she'll look even.

Who uses wireless technology?

I know a couple of visitors do... but care to share how well or otherwise it works? Been giving it consideration for home use (and T's business trips).

Either comment, or email me at phineas.llew@gmail.com if you're so inclined.

And while we're at it - I have managed to get agreement "in principle"... to buy one of these or similar.

"In principle" means "when I find the money, or win lotto". But I may as well start to think about what's going to be in the business case. By then they should have dropped in price considerably.

But one of the main benefits will be that we can retire the (quite new, but unreliable) VCR & the remote that came with it.

One less remote! - hard to assign a cost benefit to that, but I'm figuring the concept will be attractive.

Good Morning America!

Tip for fellow bloggers wanting to vastly increase your hit rate:

Mention "Joe Ratzinger" or "the pope's new name".

Honestly, I've had hundreds of visits from the US google searching those two phrases over the last few days.

Well we're off to Sunny O tonight for the duration of the holiday weekend. We have a few people to see about some "plans" or possibly some other "plans". A fair bit of weeding to do around the feijoa trees (now actually relegated to undergrowth below a lot of very tall weeds...)

And I daresay we'll finish watching Holy Smoke. WHich has been most impressive so far. I suspect the ending will truly suck since so far, I don't think it's deserved the rancid reviews it got at the time it was released.

I imagine there will be some Anzac themed movies to avoid on TV...

Actually, that reminds me. M has been on a horse riding camp all week (school hols). it's just up the road from Sunny O, so we'll pick her up tomorrow night. She's been feverishly texting her mum between 7pm & 7.30 each night, because, we discovered, the family who run the camp diligently watch Shortland Street.

I said that it's always good to experience new things & I asked if Nic was still on the show. Have not got the answer yet.

But please, dear reader(s), that was a rhetorical question. I don't really need to know.

New Pope. Meanwhile, in Sunny O...

In a startling break with tradition, the Papal Conclave dispensed with nearly 2000 years of tradition & today elected to take Russell Brown's advice, to trust in God's wisdom and draw the name of the new pope out of a hat.

As the white smoke billowed above St Peter's Square (actually round), Vatican officials announced that Cardinal Tom Williams from New Zealand (100-1 odds) was now officially Pope Victor Hilarius the First

Catholics around the world rejoiced as the new pope stepped out onto the balcony & said "Gidday.".

The Price of Milk

How come this Kiwi movie hasn't been released on DVD (although it IS available through Amazon)?

Went looking for DVDs this lunchtime - decided to buy Stealing Beauty. But it doesn't seem to be available.

Almost bought Before Sunrise & Before Sunset... then changed my mind for now. Then ALMOST bought A Man & A Woman and Lone Star.

Then reflected on the length of the queue & the parlous state of my finances & decided to get out quick before I came across the Godfather boxed set.

I am so tempted...

Shall compile a list of impending family birthdays...

.

Ratzinger "The Real Communion" #1 > Fan Club T-Shirts! > Ratzinger Fan Club Shop | CafePress

meanwhile, my money is literally on Cardinals McCarrick (US), Rodriguez (Dom Republic), and Agnelo (Brazil), since I drew these outsiders in the office sweep today.

The Good Life: Dead Duck

The Good Life: Dead Duck

Terrible! But I laughed...

The Incredibles

Brilliant! See it.

I particularly enjoyed the little (Edith Head inspired?) superhero costume designer (voiced by the director, Brad Bird no less). "Don' make me beg!" And her secret workshop:

1. Palm print
2. Touchpad combination
3. Retina Scan
4. Voiceprint "Edna Mole..."

Large gun drops from the ceiling & points at Elastigirl

"...and guest"

Gun folds back up & disappears.

Just priceless.

BTW: Bird also directed a movie called The Iron Giant, which is an animated movie that will keep adults & children alike occupied quite nicely. The giant is voiced by Vin Diesel.

Update: Brad Bird was interviewed on National Radio last night. He said he ended up with the Edna gig because voice casting is the last thing they do - up until then, the crew voice all the characters for the first cut & Brad voiced Mr Incredible, Syndrome & Edna. The consensus was that no-one was ever going to do a better Edna & so his voice stayed. They also played an extended piece (cinema on the radio) where Edna explains the properties of the diverse suits:

"Able to withstand 1000 degrees! Bullet-proof of course" ratatatat!! "And machine washable - that's a new feature."
"What on earth do you think the baby will be doing?"
"Luck favours the prepared..."
"but he has no super powers!"
"Oh... well he'll look great anyway."

God, what a day #2

Saw Albert & his son on their way somewhere today. I don't think the boy likes me.

If only he knew what Albert & I have been through... I keep telling him...

Got home, couldn't concentrate on Dr Phil at all. Damned steel plate seems to be tuned to Wayne Mowatt.... hated it when National Radio went FM...

"Oh, them golden slippers,
Oh, them golden slippers,
Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm
Dum de dum de dum de dum de"

I love show tunes.

That Doris day hoohah!... reminds me of a nurse I knew in 'Nam... talk about heavy artillery...

Street Preacher Man

: Ms Behaviour - NZ Raver : Sticks it to Nike...

: Nike Admits Worker Abuse:

Word of the day: Puritanism

The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. -H.L. Mencken, writer, editor, and critic (1880-1956)

God, what a day...

Met my Dad at lunchtime, picked him up from out front of the Big Department Store & we strolled down to the Bull & Bear for a few quiet ones.

Had my satchel with me today, because Winston caught me in the Beehive lobby yesterday & asked me to pick up his weekly duty free Gaulloise package from the Diplomatic bag, so needed something bigger than the briefcase.

Dad was in fine form. He's OK during the day mostly, the flashbacks don't kick in till later in the evening. Drives Mum spare when he crashes out the window yelling "Incoming!". Especially as they live on the third floor. And she's getting tired of having to apologise to the Asian neighbours, they shouldn't have to endure some of the things he does when he gets carried away... I keep telling him to get over it. The Tet Offensive was a long time ago. You lost, live with it.

Just wish he'd change out of that stupid coat & hat before we go anywhere. Feel like I'm escorting a fucking leprachaun. But he's feircely proud of the store. And to be honest, I'm a bit afraid of what he might be wearing (or not wearing) underneath the coat to press the issue.

And as for that stupid preacher mate of his we passed on the way... that steel plate they put in his head after the Burmese Operation went wrong doesn't seem to have infused his mind with any sense. Still, dad loves him. They get quite dreamy when they have a session reminiscing about the old days. Or what they can remember of them. Dad sleeps well for a few days after that. Although that could be down to the drugs the Preacher seems to have a neverending supply of...

But as usual, dad doesn't know when enough is enough. OK, that guy at the pub shouldn't have called him a poofter. But after inflicting a broken arm & beating him unconscious, dad should know when to stop. I'd have grabbed him, but I was busy fending off his 5 mates. Only 4 of them will require hospital admittance. I tried to warn them. I just managed to take out the last 2 of them in time to administer an emergency tracheotomy to Dad's guy with a broken Bellamy's pen.

I expect as usual, the Store will spring for the damages, they're very good to dad. And the Department will, as usual, see to it that word of the incident doesn't get out. They do it for me, plus, there are still a few old warhorses around that remember the work Dad did for them in the 50s, and they wouldn't want anything about that to get out.

So it was a bit more peaceful than the last few lunches we've had. The unfortunate capper was though, as we were leaving, I slipped on some guy's blood, sprained my ankle, and broke the zip on the satchel.

bugger.

Yours... The GC

The Strangest thing...

Coming back from lunch today I saw The Government Courier entering the MFAT building. He was dishevelled, limping, and toted a satchel hung over his shoulder instead of the usual briefcase...

The satchel was open, and papers were poking out, just about flapping around in the wind!

what can it mean?

The end is nigh!

A few things to fret about over the weekend...

Guardian Unlimited | Life | What a way to go

Thanks to Younger Brother for pointing this out.

Eavesdropping on the hired help

And I found out that the feminine form of "piker" is "pikelette" (I'm assuming the spelling, so don't add it to your spellcheck just yet.

And Caroline... if you're reading this, "Piker" is Kiwiese for someone who gives up, goes home, doesn't see the job through.

Braveheart hunter..

Wilma caught a mouse this morning.

I thought something was up when I saw her with her nose jammed behind the big basket that holds our vegetables in the kitchen. Then later with her nose behind a big wire basket that holds noodles & pasta.

So I moved the basket, and a mouse quite casually swung out into the kitchen, through the door to the hall, past two very bored looking cats who were waiting for their breakfast, and into the lounge.

Wilma looked at me for a second & then raced in pursuit, causing the bored cats to have to snap out of it & get out the way or be trampled in the rush.

So then Wilma had her nose jammed behind & underneath the three big & very heavy couches that adorn our newly painted lounge.

T told me just to leave it & set a trap later. So I forgot about it. I was thinking "Please God, don't make me have to move the piano again!" I only moved it back yesterday & it wasn't pretty. But I had visions of it infested with mice & us having to sing "Silent Night" - subtle musical history reference (TM) - forever more.

Until I looked out at Wilma sitting on the back porch playing with a dead mouse.

WTF do those cats think we have them for?

I guess I'll be spending part of my weekend closing off the suspected gap that exists behind our dishwasher - or whatever it is that causes a huge draught, and presumably lets mice in.

Oh and T found a weta in her shoe this morning. So it's been a big day for uninvited critters. She wanted me to pour boiling water on it to kill it, but I sneaked it down the back garden & set it free...

Power chip is this year's Mag Lite...

New toy alert!

V2 Power Chip

Every "season" brings new developments in flashlight technology (and barbecues). And it's important to keep up with the latest.

So I'll be retiring the year before last's puny LED flashlight. And last year's 3 mode Kathmandu model - 2x LED, 1x neon mini lantern & 1x normal torch light, will become the spare.

Bring on the dark ages (when it is dark by the time I get home at 5.30pm.)

My bit for cross-generational relations

I'm cool, hip, charming & able to relate to anyone...

So when a 15 year old boy came to stay, I was ready.

"So Ricky... what're you planning to do when you leave school?"
"Grunt... lawyer"
"Cool, so you like your school?"
"Grunt... my school sucks. They don't teach me anything useful. I don't play their game."
"Excellent.... which school are you at?"
"St Grunt-ards"
"Right."

I try safer ground...

"What's your favourite movie?"
"Kung Pow"
"Cool"

...

"OK... time for some music. How about everyone chooses a CD & we play them all on shuffle?"

Rick hands over the CD from his portable that he's been plugged into since he arrived. After about 3 wide ranging tracks... the stereo issues a sound that brings to mind a jet engine winding down, at about 3 times the volume of all previous tracks. Furthermore, there may well be a team of men trapped within the engine, trying to get out using jack & sledge hammers.

"So Rick... this will be one of yours?"
"Grunt"
"WTF is it?"
"System of a Down. Grunt"
"Cool..."

...

"So what else have System of a Noise done?"
"Grunt. System of a DOWN"
"Right... don't know why I said that..."

...

"So what else have System of the Down done?"
"System of A Down"
"Of course"

...

Whisper to M
"I'll keep watch, you change it for any old rubbish"
"Right. Tee hee..."

...

"Hey. Grunt. Been a while since I heard MY music!"
"Funny how random play goes sometimes."

Must be duck season too

As there are truckloads of ducks camped in all parts of the gardens. (Very bad for a dog's concentration & adherence to obedience principles).

Leaving the way clear for hunters to shoot at each other, in time honoured fashion.

On drugs?

Public Address | Hard News

This post reminds me...

It must be "shroom" (love that) season, as the Bot Gardens are again being frequented by quite a few "irregulars". Usually in long army surplus coats, although sometimes just anoraks & hats. They appear to be aimlessly wandering, especially around the pine tree areas.

I only assume that they're looking for magic mushrooms. I have no idea what magic mushrooms look like, but I suspect they're not the red capped ones with white spots because these don't seem to get picked.

Shroom & Nos cocktail anyone? Reminds me... Tennis Club is at our place tonight.

Breaking news from the Vatican City

Heard on the radio this morning:

German Cardinal, Joseph Ratzinger leads the race."

A few years back, Pope John Paul II was visiting the USA. He arrived
at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport to be greeted by the
chauffeur of a large & fast looking cadillac Limousine.

The Pope was impressed, and he said to the chauffeur:

"You know, I've always wanted to drive a Cadillac, what's the chance
you will letme take the wheel for the journey to the White House?"

The chauffeur wasn't very keen on this, who knew if the Pope had a driver's licence even? But he was a respectful man, and who was he
to turn down a request from God's man on Earth? So he reluctantly
agreed to sit in the back & let the Pope drive into town.

So away they went, with the jubilant Pontiff at the wheel.

However, the Pope, used to Italian roads & speed limits, got a little
carried away. And several miled down the road, the chauffeur heard
sirens approaching at speed from the rear. He respectfully notified
the Pope & asked him to slow down and pull over.

The Traffic Policeman that was chasing them pulled over in front of
the limo & dismounted from his motorbike. He warily approached the
driver's window & motioned for thje window to be wound down.

he did a double take when he recognised the driver, stepped away from the car & radioed his captain.

"Captain", he said, "I have just pulled over a speeding limo & I have a big problem"
"What is it?" asked his chief.
"I've pulled over a Very Important Person & I'm not sure what to do"
"Who is it? Barbra Streisand?"
"More important than her" said the nervous cop
"The mayor?"
"No, much more important than that!"
"The... the... President?"
"No, not the president"
"Then who is it man? Who is more important than the President?"

"Captain" said the now babbling cop "I think it's God, because he's
got the fucking Pope for a chauffeur!"

Hold the front page!!! etc

We interrupt this afternoon's scheduled transmission (My successful attempt to rationalise the Theory of Relativity with Quantum Mechanics - the Grand Unified Theory!) to bring you important breaking news.

That Subway place does a pretty impressive lunch!

Spotting a 20 minute gap between meetings on what has turned out to be a very busy, meeting filled day, I dashed down the Quay to grab something that will later on today become dinner.

That successfully accomplished, I turned my thoughts towards lunch. I usually don't do Subway - the queues put me off, and on the one occassion I came upon a queue free Subway branch, they gave me a different sandwich to the one I ordered.

But today, queue free (relatively), I decided to give them another try. I ordered the Steak & cheese sandwich. And I must say, the production line way they construct these things... disturbs me a little, it's no wonder they gave me the wrong one last time. Half the time I don't know which of the seven attendants lined up I'm supposed to be listening to & answering.

I have a traditional strategy for times like this though - I just say yes to everything (which to digress for a moment, is how I ended up with an Edinburgh pub lunch once, consisting of roast beef, yorkshire pudding, gravy, chips, baked beans, pickled gherkins & peas. delicious!). So it was yes to onion, lettuce (attendant 1), tomato (attendant 2). Then determined to stamp my individuality on the process, I turned down the cucumber (although it IS possible I turned down cucumber for the guy next to me), but accepted the capsicum & gherkin (attendant 3). I gave the nod for the steak on top of all this - actually just thinly sliced beef - if you want a "real" steak sandwich, there's a place in the BNZ arcade which does a pretty hedonistic rib-eye steak burger. recommended - (attendant 4), and smearing a very generous quantity of jalapeno chillis. My individuality was again expressed, when I identified not one, but two sauces to go on top - dijon mustard & barbecue sauce (attendant 5). Attendant 6 took my cash.

And by golly, the whole thing was rather tasty.

It's a 50/50 chance whether I'll enjoy another in the next year or so, but you never know...

BTW attendant 7 appeared to be in charge of cookies & they weren't on my horizon today.

Who comes here?

Like many, if not all bloggers I watch who comes here... problem is, the visitor data isn't very specific.

But some of you come from some very interesting places.

Which is why you won't see much political comment from me in election year especially.

And some of you come from anonymous IP addresses that mean nothing to me.

So if you're shy of making a comment in the nifty comments thing... by all means, if you want to say something to me (and I'd love to hear from you all), feel free to email me at the address just beneath the photo of Snowflake the sheep (hint: that's her in the top right hand corner), after making the appropriate edits.

phineas.llewATgmailDOTcom.

Speaking of The Godfather...

1 & 2 are IMHO, two of the greatest movies ever made. Just hearing the haunting theme tune causes the hair on my neck to stand on end. I get goosebumps.

When The Godfather first came out, I was too young to go & see it. And indeed, had little interest in what I assumed was a generic gangster film.

The newspapers at the time it was released (in the UK anyway) were completely taken with the whole mafia business, giving screeds of copy over to Al Capone, Lucky Luciano & the like as background info to the movie.

Indeed, I was reading a grisly tale of one guy getting "whacked" & bleeding all through his pasta whilst in the back of a hot & stuffy car touring round Scotland with my dad & a mate of his called Bunny Evans. At the time I was trying to drink from a plastic bag filled with warm milk (how they were selling the stuff at the time in Scotland in 1972), and all I could think was that this warm liquid was about the consistency & temperature of blood.

Years later I saw Godfather II at the Naenae picture theatre - they had Sunday night double features that ranged from the sublime (G2) to the utterly rancid (The Chinese Connection). But my mates & I were there generally without fail (which is how come I have seen ridiculous films such as The Carpetbaggers (loosely based on the early life of Howard Hughes & starring the ever-wooden George Peppard), and a bizarre spinoff of that book called Nevada Smith & starring Steve Mcqueen). Not to mention countless crappy kung-fu movies & old westerns starring, of all people, Dean Martin.

Godfather II utterly transfixed me, so that in short order I read the Godfather novel & then caught up with the earlier movie too.

And The Godfather is one of those rare occasions that the film surpasses the book in quality. The book, IMO, is pulp trash. The film is magnificent, ignoring most of the sub-plots & focussing square on the Corleones.

Oddly, the Godfather II is one of those rare occasions where the sequel surpasses the original. I will state categorically now, that this movie is the greatest ever made. It also differs from & contradicts the novel.

Both movies, all three really, sport much the same basic structure. A crisis threatens the Corleone family, attempts are made on the Don's life, traitors are exposed & the whole thing wrapped up at the end with retributional multi-whackings.

How simple can it get?

I once read that the first two had been recut into a mini-series tracing the Corleone saga in chronological order. I wonder what that would be like?

I now look forward (following many subtle hints) to receiving the 3 film, Godfather DVD Boxed Set for my birthday.

"Girls dressed in plastic"

Brilliant! I am 4th in the google listing for the above phrase.

Google-s�kning: "Girls dressed in plastic"

So who watched Godfather 3 last night on Sky?

A deeply flawed film. Could have been as great as the others (Godfathers 1 & 2), but for the presence of Sophie Coppola in the lead role.

She's flat as a pancake (presence-wise). I cannot see the film without wondering what it could have been with Winona Ryder (at the height of her powers - or just starting the slide anyway) in the role. And it depresses me.

Anyhow... it still has some attention grabbing moments - like when Michael makes his first confession in 30 years - "I am beyond redemption!", to a Cardinal who is about to become Pope John Paul 1.

In fact, it's a very topical film to be screening right now, they showed the Conclave selecting a new pope. Presumably both JP2 & Joe Ratzinger were present.

And the film follows the events (some speculation) involving the Vatican bank, certain Sicilian & American "families", and the corruption that led to the (speculated) murder of the new pope.

Michael tries to save him. And then avenges in spectacular & operatic (literally) fashion.

Great stuff. They should have killed off Sophie's character a lot earlier though.

And we also watched an odd little film in the weekend called Rodger Dodger. It's about a completely reprehensible ladies' man (a reptilian Campbell Scott) teaching his 16 year old nephew all about women (and how to score them).

And this guy is butt squirmingly awful, wracked with bitterness & guilt about his family, and pretty much consumed with misogyny.

Has an interesting cast - Isabella Rossellini, Jennifer "Flashdance" Beals, & Elizabeth Berkley (who keeps her clothes on).

Finishes on a slightly optimistic note of redemption... worth a look. Some barbed & barbarous dialogue (kind of like In The Company of Men, but not quite as bleak).

I landlord

Spent much of the weekend showing prospective tenants around our old house, which, given it has inexplicably refused to be sold, will be tenanted out again for a few years when we will try again to sell it.

SunnyO: Make me an offer I can't refuse...

I say inexplicably, because houses have sold all around it during the marketing period, worse houses, for lots of money. These houses were being sold by a different agency... so maybe there IS an explanation...

Anyway, we got two offers, both were below the GV. How often do you hear of houses selling for less than their GV? We had the place valued too, and so we had an idea what a fair price would be. it's not less than the GV.

Anyway...

Put an ad in the paper saying there'd be a viewing time on Sunday & to call for the address... nearly everyone couldn't make it on Sunday & so I was persuaded to spend some time there on Saturday instead. gave me a chance to do some gardening there & refamilarise myself with a place I didn't expect to have to maintain anymore...

Oh well. Had a few families through, some I can see it won't suit because the section is unfenced for dogs, and access is a bit steep for toddlers & elderly etc...

Everyone raved about what a nice, spacious, sunny place it is.

I had some stereotyping notions realigned by some groups.

Group #1: 4 "female professionals". Party girls looking for a base close to town. They checked out the bedrooms, glanced briefly at the kitchen, didn't even look at the garden. They love it.

Group #2: 4 young guys, mix of students & tradesmen. Loved the place, especially the kitchen. One guy mused rapturously about it at length. They love it.

Group #3: 4 more "female professionals". Quite a bit more professional than the first lot. A lawyer, a sharebroker, a TVNZ hotty , and something else I can't remember (brain surgeon I expect). They looked more the dinner than headbanger partiers & the kitchen did impress them a little bit too. They love it.

A few more to show around tonight...

Meanwhile, T laboured on the lounge at home & has it (re) painted - one of the colours didn't make the grade & has been replaced with a shade only imperceptably lighter than the first coat. But she's happy, and therefore, so am I.

How will Hollywood handle the Phillip Pullman books?

Here's the worst case scenario for the upcoming His Dark Materials movie adaptation... highly amusing.

The Pantalaimon Perplex - Here be spoilers.

BTW: I have just finished the 2nd of the trilogy (The Subtle Knife) & eagerly await M finishing the third book (The Amber Spyglass).

And I notice that there is a fourth in the trilogy now - Kind of - Lyra's Oxford. And a fifth coming soon (The Book of Dust).

They don't make trilogies like they used to.

A few of the leading candidates...

If the web did the voting, it'd be Dubya, and here.

I bet though if I had done this a few years ago, it'd be Bill Gates.

Although there is a rank outsider....

And if you take this highly informative quiz (hint, the Antichrist is only mentioned 4 times in the bible, and not at all in Revelations, and when he, she or it, is mentioned, he's already appeared & isn't necessarily one person anyway), you'll find that she is actually a little old lady called Mrs Jones (if you're reading literally that is, otherwise it might be you.)

And then I got sick of the whole exercise, especially the pages suggesting the recently deceased Pope might be the man (although there is evidence that JP2 thought it was Dubya too - I mean, you've all seen the Omen films right? Oh yeah... that'd make it Sam Neill...)

And now for a public service... I (will) bring you the Antichrist.

In these painful days of papal upheaval, SunnyO has decided to do the world a service by unmasking the Antichrist.

You know s/he's out there - striding the world's places of power (momentary cliche blank - you know what I mean), or maybe sitting at home listening to Linda Clarke & having a cuppa.

I thought I might make it multi-choice (eg 1. Paul Holmes 2. Joe Ratzinger 3. Paris Hilton etc) but then I decided that to do the job the justice it deserves, and to continue in the recent vein of Interactive Blogging (TM), I'd call for nominations.

So what say you!

Oh - and while it IS attractive to think that the AC is a very powerful & prominent person, it might pay to remember that in fine Hollywood movie tradition, it just might be the very last person we expect (or if a TV show, the most famous guest star that week). So keep an eye on Nelson Mandela - and say Michelle, you got him on your list?

So I will accept obscure personages, especially if accompanied by an imaginative description. For instance, there used to be this Wellington City bus driver....

BTW: I meant to mention this before, but having all sorts of (supernatural?) problems with Blogger. But if you've read The Revolt of the Angels by Anatole France, you will be aware that Satan is actually a retired gardener living on the outskirts of Paris. That being the case, why should the Antichrist be any more prominent?

And further... this link takes you to the online translation of the entire Revolt of the Angels

*michelle, on-the-deathwatch reporting from italy*

Funny how people squander a really good post on someone else's comments

Here's Michelle on the line from Rome. Lifted from a comments field.

I'll tell you what Llew, it's a beautiful day here in the Holy City and the crowds of people waiting to view the Pope are creating quite a festive atmosphere as they queue for up to 8 hours outside St Peters. With the soaring unseasonal temperatures, the decision to not embalm the Pope is beginning to seem like the wrong decision as his body begins its slow journey into decomposition with the visible leaking of plasma from his popal cuffs although the Faithful believe that the liquid is actually Jesus Christ's tears from his crucifiction.

Although it wasn't a huge surprise that the Pope died this year, only 4 of the 9 deathwatch participants had him on their lists. That gives them a margin of 16points in front of the rest of the contestants and that is a very good start considering it's only April. I'm hoping that Luciano Pavrotti is the next to kick the bucket to project me out into the lead even further as no one else has picked him as shirking his mortal coil during 2005. Back to you in the studio, this is Michelle reporting for SunnyO News from the Vatican, Rome, Italy.
Michelle | Homepage | 04.07.05 - 6:14 pm | #

Should I settle for only slight dementia & skip the run?

STUFF : WORLD NEWS - STORY : New Zealand's leading news and information website: "Fend off dementia with sex, crosswords and a run "

The Cardinal Ratzinger Fan Club: Homepage

Did he not used to play Cliff the postman on Cheers?

The Cardinal Ratzinger Fan Club: Homepage

OK... I'm just about done with this stuff...

Continuing our papal theme - putting the smackdown on heresy since when?

I have to agree with Sarah, that Ratzinger looks a bit suss....

BBC NEWS | World | Europe | Saving souls in cyberspace: "Supporters can purchase T-shirts and hats declaring support for the cardinal, branded with the phrase: 'Putting the smackdown on heresy since 1981.' "

I love the phrase "who heads the Vatican department once known as the Holy Inquisition"

What's it called now?

And since when? Surely since... since... well let's say the 12th century. (Looks like Ratzinger could have been there).

UPDATE:

My papal advisor reliably tells me that the Institution Formerly Known as the Holy Inquisition (IFKATHI) is now the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith. Smacking down (burning at the stake) heresy since 1542.

The new pope's name

Apparently the newly elected pope gets to choose his own name.

According to Sarah in the comments to this recent post, all the cardinals will be preoccupied with dreaming up names right now, just in case (like the rest of us would be dreaming up acceptance speeches).

SunnyO: The next pope?

So I'm inviting the three of you who read this to submit some suggestions. I'm interested in 1) likely names, 2) names they probably won't choose, but should, and 3) names they definitely won't be using.

Eg:

1) Pope John Paul III
2) Pope James Dean
3) Pope Michael Jackson

OTY

Paul Hester, the Pope, Rainier, Saul Bellow...

Where will it end?

how're your deathpool points looking today Michelle?

The Jamjar: April 2005 Archives

The next pope?

One of the things I didn't mention about my letter from god... is that he informs me that the first black pope will be the Anti-Christ.

I see that the Nigerian candidate fits the bill... although I remember seeing a very comprehensive arguemtn on Cheers once, that the Coyote from the Roadrunner cartoons was the Anti-Christ.

watch this space....

Personally, I think Italy will be looking for a local lad to fill the position.

And when do we find out what the new one is going to be called?

SunnyO - As seen on TV!

James very kindly pimped my blog (and others) on national TV!

How cool!

Cheers Noizy!

Knew I should have baled Ralston up....

So I'm at home right now...

T's in Christchurch, M is at school... and just as I was about to head off to work - after several days off - I really should show my face now & then... a frickin' cat got into a hole left by an electrician in the bedroom wardrobe & is somewhere in the lining of the house between the top & bottom floors...

I can't leave, because I can't turn on the alarm as he'll trigger it when he comes out. I can't lock him in the cupboard - it's where all Trelise Cooper's sold stock resides... and a few of my cheap suits...

So... it's a waiting game....

The very best exchange of the evening...

Man! Thursday morning in Welly sucked. Well... it blew & persisted actually. Great day to be driving North in an unfamiliar car.

But drive North we did. And the loaned Skoda Octavia was an admirable car to drive, I have to admit. Once I familiarised myself with a manual transmission again. Only stalled it 3 times in the entire weekend...

The weather cleared around about Waikanae. Our first stop was the Arctique Kennels, where we left Wilma for the duration. She was really happy to get into the place, but had a very cross & confused look on her face as we tootled away, waving goodbye through our watery eyes...

Our next stop was the Windmill cafe in Bulls. Sub-Eurovision song contest music (imagine a medley: Olay Olay & What Shall We Do With The Drunken Sailor), awful food & coffee, and the place is crowded with kitsch, including those horrid rustic clay figurines which would give you nightmares. You know the ones - bulbous faced leprechaun looking things. My advice to anyone is to keep driving.

And Taihape was the place we stopped for lunch. The much over-rated Brown Sugar cafe. Although there was nothing wrong with my cheese & bacon on toast.

We stopped briefly again in Taupo & amongst other things, bought a very cheap micro stereo from Noel Leemings (ultimately to grace our bedroom at home). Very cheap. As evidenced that we used it once, played one CD, went to dinner and next time we tried to turn it on, it wouldn't work...

Then it was onto Tirau, which IMO is a very pleasant little town to spend a few hours in. Or even a night - I can recommend the OK Tirau Motel very highly. And the cafe next door, which did an excellent steak, the first of several in the weekend.



By now, the weather was positively summery! The next day's drive was a doddle, through the lovely Waikato to Thames & lunch. Then, our first mistake (not counting the Windmill cafe in Bulls), instead of driving back to the Whitianga & Tairua turnoff, we believed our roadmap which showed the much shorter route was North, and over a pass to Coroglen. 29 km of metal & dust & winding road took us an hour & a half... Resolved not to come back that way. Although it would have been fine if we'd had our high clearance Touareg (we would have been able to say we'd taken it "off-road"!) & not a road hugging family station wagon.

Whitianga seems to be undergoing some major redevelopment, since we were last there 2 years ago... although the main township seems pretty much the same, there are large tracts of land outside town being prepared for residences & retirement homes. Our motel turned out to be about a 100 metres from the wedding venue, but the accommodation was very small. I can recommend the steamed mussels & the porkribs from a cafe called Tuatuas, and also the venison from Salt cafe.

The wedding itself was at a place called Ohuka Lodge, which has just been built (by the groom). It's on a convenient shelf of land (presumably a "raised beach") on the hillside overlooking Mercury Bay. It is a million dollar view, and once the landscaping is completed, it will be a million dollar place to stay - and presumably much cheaper.





There were some 300 guests, including TVNZ guy Bill ralston & his wife Janet Wilson. There was a bit of a queue to genuflect, so Bill & I did not get around to discussing my TV career. Although I did compliment him on his hat.

We partied till late, I met a lot of interesting people, and to refer back to the title of this post, the very best exchange of the evening came from a woman who had just been telling us about her job in some "male health" clinic - the brand name "viagra" cropped up a lot in the conversation - another guy came by & overheard a little of the topic, he stopped, stared at the woman (who was quite tipsy), and asked:

"What are you?"

and she looked up, and said:

"I'm a... I'm a... I'm a.... (pause)... I'm a really great fuck, Nigel"

Just magnificent IMO (her response, not her self professed talent).

Oh... and the food! There was a rowing boat, filled with ice, and then topped with a huge mound of seafood, oysters in the half shell, crayfish, prawns, squid, mussels... It was quite something. And on top of that, there were curries, sushi, a major barbecue... we gorged. And we drank...



And lo! We were actually quite healthy & rested the next morning. We drove South, stopped for lunch at the Fine Swine cafe in tirau, where coincidentally we ran across a well known blogger, author & speechwriter (honestly David, I am not stalking you!) on his way North.

Spent the night in Tokaanu, as is our habit on our way home from the Coromandel, soaked in the mineral pool, had the best rib-eye steak I've had in years at a place called The Poachers, in nearby Waihi beach. I can't recommend this restaurant enough actually, 3 minutes drive from Tokaanu. Try it.

And home the next day, a dream ride, weather turned as awful as we'd left it around about Porirua... stopped & picked up a very happy Wilma on the way...

The wedding was great!

More on that later, as a busy week unfolds... or what's left of it.

it's still summer in the Coromandel actually.

But just a quick update on the car situation...

How I imagined it would go:

"OHMIGOD! You drive a PORSCHE!!"
Me: "Yeah, we picked it up specially for this weekend."

How it actually went:

"OHMIGOD! You drive a fucking SKODA!!"
Me: "It's not ours..."

Actually, they seem to be rebranding skodas, it was a cut down (basic) Audi station wagon with a skoda badge on it. Ran really well.

Fabulation aside for a moment...

There's a guy you see around town a lot - if you've lived in Wellington in the last 15 years, you've seen him, but you may not realise it.

He's the Government Courier. THE Government Courier.

His job is to transport important documents (and goodness knows what else) between Parliament & Government departments. They're in that robust looking briefcase handcuffed to his wrist. But you don't notice the cuffs.

He's tall & fit, and I've always suspected he's had some military training & probably knows 15 different ways to dissuade you from taking that briefcase off him.

And he's very unnoticeable. Just a public servant with a briefcase.

I'd type his name, but it's probably a state secret. Anyway, it's also quite boring.

I've always considered he's got the coolest job. He just wanders (purposefully) around town all day.

The Weekends

Last weekend:

Decided to be clever & leave travelling until (Good) Friday lunchtime. heard on the radio that the north bound traffic on Thursday night was awful. Felt really clever...

Rounded up the animals on Friday, loaded up the car... and our planned one hour trip took us 3 hours. Man, it sucked. We were bumper to bumper just past Plimmerton & stayed that way till Waikanae.

The animals were very patient though.

For the life of me I can't remember what we did on Saturday. But it either involved building something, or demolishing something else (it's rare that I both build & demolish the same thing in a weekend, but not unknown).

Oh yeah! I remember. The girls organised on Friday to go horseriding on Saturday. A 2 hour trek according to T. But a 3 hour trek according to M. I escaped because they made their booking at the same time as Wilma & I were supposed to be inspecting some boarding kennels. But T was quite sure they'd be back in time to greet her mum who was visiting after lunchtime.

So I dropped them off at a place near the Otaki racecourse, and we all learned to T's surprise especially, that it was indeed a 3 hour trek, but that didn't include the hour or so beforehand catching the horses &... what do you call the set up bit... saddling them? Nor did it include the hour or so afterwards... doing post-horsey wind-down things (look, I've no idea OK?).

They were gone 6 hours in all. T's mum & I surmised there'd be one very sore girl later on...

And we weren't wrong.

Anyway, the kennels were really nice, and the kennel owners. I have to say, I have never seen so many golden retrievers in one place ever. It was surreal. There were also a german shepherd & two labradors there.

I think Wilma will really like it. They sure gushed over her.

And then I built a fence.

The next day I built another bay on my 3 bay compost area. One more bay to go.

Goodness knows what else I did. Then visitors came & we drank & ate lots.

I have lots of photos actually, that I must download & post... including a whole set of "beach art" shots I took of sandcastles & driftwood constructions Wilma & I encountered along the beach...

On monday we weren't in a hurry to get away home, but took the first opportunity to catch both the cats (they have kept us waiting hours in the past). We left around lunchtime. And our timing was perfect, a clear run into town & as we were arriving we heard that traffic was at snails pace pretty much from just south of Levin.

Got home in time for T to paint windowsills in the lounge & for me (joy!) to mow the lawns. I have considered just bringing a sheep home now & then.

This weekend:

We're supposed to be leaving Thursday for Whitianga to attend a wedding. That's the plan anyway, drop Wilma off at the kennels & head north till Monday.

Except that there is a problem with our car, it's leaking coolant & may not be fixed in time... I'm hoping the VW people will loan us another, maybe an Audi Roadster (except I suppose we won't all fit in it). Or a Porsche Cayenne (perfect, since there'll be a lot of Aucklanders at the wedding, be nice to tool up in a porsche - "Yeah Nigel, picked it up especially for this trip!".)

Anyway, we'll see...

Update: We're getting loaned some sort of station wagon... since they didn't tell her what make & model, T assumes it'll be a lada....

On my way to work today

Swung by Big Department Store to say hello to my old Special Forces comrade, Albert. He's the doorman...

He's had that job since the 1970s, when the annual Big Department Store sales were really getting popular, they wanted someone polite & respectful, who could also handle himself in a dicey situation.

Albert knows 15 ways to kill someone with his bare hands. He's only had to use 3 of them at the store.

Albert loves his job.

As do I (my job that is).

Street Preacher Man

So who knew Die Hard was a book?

Or that it was (technically) a sequel to an old Frank Sinatra movie called The Detective?

Bruce Willis's DIE HARD & Nothing Lasts Forever

Too nice a day for street preaching

Took the day off. Went surfing.

Popped in & visited God on my way through Island Bay.

He's well.

Out of character...

Was changing yesterday into my dog walking gear (boingy hat & powder blue jacket, leiderhosen & hiking boots - HOT!), and it suddenly occurred to me that I had just put on odd socks. Not completely different, same style, but one grey, one black. Odd socks aren't that unusual, Wilma has this thing about socks, and somewhere there is a hidden cache of them that we will stumble across & all our odd socks will be reunited.

And you know what? I didn't change 'em. Devil may care eh? It did cross my mind how unusual this was. A watershed moment perhaps.

hey, I'm a virgo, we don't do that freaky shit..

Got my hat & powder blue jacket & ready to rock.

Yesterday, for a change of pace, I decided to wear my boingy hat & powder blue jacket. The hat is my favourite & was a gift from my cobber in Petone.

Mater says I look like Frank Sinatra. Which could be handy next time I'm in Vegas, some of those showgirls don't even realise he died already.

Decided today to plug the "Jesus saves" angle, tried & true, a crowd pleaser. Wish I had a dollar for every wanker who replied "Yes, but Beckham scores on the rebound!"

I must be pretty hot today though, getting lots of attention from women especially! Reminds me of my Special Forces days in Saigon. Those were the days... But the way they dress! Bare midriffs, tattoos! Some of them would make Saigon Sally blush, and Saigon Sally was pretty hard to embarrass. I'd show them my tattoo - YEAH! That'd make them see the light!

But Mater says she'll disown me if I get arrested again.

"You WILL be saved too!"

Got home, missed Dr Phil ... but bonus! My subscription copy of High Times had arrived! I love the guest editorials from Tommy Chong. He's soooo funny.

A couple of fun hours on the PS2 with Playboy Mansion - I scored Playmate of the Year!

Mater made us scambled eggs for supper, I do get so hungry reading High Times...

Must remember to get my hat steamed soon.

Boy mauled by toilet paper dog

Not at all like the toilet paper sunglasses...

Actually, I've always been suspicious about shar-peis. There are two that used to come down to the lawn at dog play time. Their arrival was guaranteed to suck the fun out of any dogs already present.

They never, ever caused an incident, but somehow, all the other dogs got really nervous around them. The owners exercise them somewhere else now, although to my knowledge, no-one ever complained about them.

STUFF - STORY - HOME : Boy Mauled by Toilet paper Dog

Although... I see no reason why the advertising should change, it's about people supervising their dogs & children IMO.

If Wilma blogged

It's dawn already! Where are they? Wheeeeerrrreee aaarrreee ttthhheeeyyy....

Phew, about time! Sooo excited!!! Come on, hurry up! Whoops... better just check if there's any cat food left... delicious!

Pant, pant pant, hurry up! Birds!!...

oops... time for a dump....

come on! Hurry up whydontcha!!

Ooh... birds!

A toasted sandwich!! Hey, whaddya mean "give"? Oh man.... I'm hungry...

Birds!

An apple! Hang on then, I just have to eat this apple...

Hurry up!

Havoc & Barney!! Yahoo!!

Run, run, run, chase, chase, dodge....

Whaddya mean it's time to go! Oh... Ok then...

Time for a dump....

Home, where's my treat? Thank you.

Whaddya mean I have to be towelled dry? Man, I hate this....

Someone's fed the cats again! Delicious.

Breakfast!! Yay!! Hey, there's a big cat muscling in.... hey... HEY!!

And a bone! Aw.... how lucky can a dog get!?

And now several hours sleeping & chewing my bone... wish those cats would leave it alone... HEY!!

Sleep

Sleep

Sleep..

Chew

Yay! Someone's home & I'm allowed in again!

Cat food! Delicious...

Alpha dog is home! Walkies!! I'm so excited!! Hurry up!! Huuuurrrryyyy uuuuuppppp!!!!

Time for a dump...

BIRDS!!

Hurry up!

Ooh... that horrible Honey "Woof!!" I hate Honey.

Ooh... the swimming hole... DUCKS!!

Havoc!! Yeehah!!

Run, run run, chase, dodge, chase....

Phew.. I'm tired & thirsty, come on! Time to go!

BIRDS!!

Wait! I just need to drink from this stream...

Let's really hurry past the vets! I hate the vet!

Home. Where's my treat!

Here's MUM! hello mum! Wag, wag... and M! Hello M!!

Catfood! Delicious.

Man, I hate it when everyone is eating instead of me! Hurry up! I'm hungry!

Dinner time! Yay! hey, there's a big cat... HEY!!

Oooh... bed time... where's that bone.... Hey! CAT! HEY!!

Snore...

Somewhere...

One of the great curses of this age is department store music.

Many years ago I had a job at the DIC in Lower Hutt. My job was to blow up balloons. I shared a small room with the DIC's resident sign-writer, a pretty young woman whose main concern at the time was how would she get the racy photos her boyfriend took of her developed.

Good college Photography Club member that I was, I politely offered to develop them for her... she just as politely declined...

But I digress, my other main task was to keep the store music going, I was allowed to leave our little room now & then & sample anything from the store's record section.

Note to younger readers: "Records" are what we had before CDs & electricity were invented.

I nearly got fired, because for one day straight I played an album of "oompapah" leiderhosen music on continuous loop. Yodelling. The store manager suddenly burst into our room, waved his finger at me & said "Once more & you're out of here".

it was tempting...

SO this lunchtime I was in Kirk's looking for a birthday present for my neice. And I suddenly realised the sound system was regaling us with an overblown instrumental version of songs from West Side Story.

Resisting the urge to break into "Somewhere", I moved on...

...to Capital on the Quay, where they were playing the original soundtrack to High Society.

It almost makes me nostalgic for Christmas songs.

After that I got my little briefcase & my grey macintosh & took my usual post on the pavement between Whitcoulls & Westpac, and handed out religious flyers, just as I have for the last several decades, with the odd extended break here & there... I imagine some people might wonder where I go to at these times. Best not to mention it's Vegas....

"You must be reborn!" I called out, and some wag that I remember used to stagger drunkenly out of Barrett's Hotel on Friday nights in the early 80s responded "My mum wouldn't be impressed". Tosser.

And now, the good lord's work done for today, it's home to blog the latest, and spend a few hours with the PS2 & Grand Theft Auto... missed Dr Phil again, I must change my schedule...

I wonder who I'll be tomorrow then...

Origami Instructions Sunglasses Origami Paper Folding.

Hee hee... I blatantly stole this link from Cracker, at Public Address. it's great.

Low Carb Weight Loss Recipes: Origami Instructions Sunglasses Origami Paper Folding.

What cricket?

STUFF : CARTOON GALLERY : TOM SCOTT - Sports Hypnotism

And daylight saving has ended

Sucksville.

Who cares if it's lighter in the mornings now, the mornings are a write-off anyway.

Now it'll be getting dark when I get home. It's time to dig out the torches & replace the corroding batteries. Dog walking is so much more pleasant in sunshine...

In fact, it might be time for a new torch. Maybe one with 7 LED bulbs... I have one with two LEDs & it's not bad, imagine 7!!

Musings on the weekend...

There's a young student living next door to us - her dining room looks right out onto our back porch where Wilma presides over a pile of bones... nice... that lovely charnel house ambience...

Her mother (I presume) is visiting at the moment. She potters about the garden singing songs to herself in Chinese. It sounds cool. She is unfailingly friendly.

*******
There are secret paths in the Botanic Garden. Sure, there are paths that are very infrequently used, except by me & Wilma, paths where in all the years, I have only ever seen one other person using them.

But there are secret paths also, paths that once were real paths, maintained by the staff and well walked, but now are overgrown, spanned by fallen trees, and terminated by fences, should you venture down...

Wilma & I use these paths too.

In fact, should I win Lotto & have the opportunity to change careers without having to worry about income... I could easily become a Botanic Garden tour guide... I just about know the names of all the paths now, and have named one of the secret paths "Weta Walk"...

I'm considering memorising the dedications for all the park benches too...

*******
Freaky goings on at the Lawn this weekend: I don't know if it was thunder, explosions, or a crane falling down somewhere, but an almighty din was heard from somewhere in town & it really scared Wilma.

10 minutes later, once recovered, Wilma got very tense, making me think that another dog was about to arrive (they know). Minutes went by & nothing... then I noticed the vet's spooky boxer was peering around the corner watching us. He's a freaky one, apparently has delinquent tendencies. he's also got this big goofy face, with big poppy, moonie eyes... like the Tinderbox story... and he's silently watching us... so I brought Wilma away from him & we sat down on a bench. The boxer came onto the lawn, semi-circled around us silently. he looked confused actually, like he was wondering about coming over. Then suddenly he left (looking like he was on his way home). Not the sort of dog you wish to see by himself in public...

*******
Painted the lounge this weekend - the bottom half of it. T is very disappointed that we didn't finish it off completely (so disappointed, that she wants to rejig our Easter plans so we can finish it...). But there is just a bit of the trim to go & a window frame.

*******
We finished watching In the Cut... Mark Ruffalo seems to be a very versatile actor. The movie looks great, there is some superb cinematography. But ultimately, all the characters are dislikable, and the ending is routine.

We watched The Singing Detective also... (based on the old TV show) with Robert Downey Jr, Katie Holmes (much underused), Robin Wright Penn, Carla Guigino, Adrian Brody, and a very, very odd turn by Mel Gibson (all the way through, we're going "Is that Mel Gibson?"). In fact, there are some jibes about how little Gibson is. Since he also produced the movie, we give him full marks for self effacement. Also, his character is very un-movie-idol looking....

I think it uses different songs to the series. And really, it's not such a great update of the story as the movie version of Pennies from Heaven was, some 20 years ago (which had Steve Martin & Christopher Walken proving that they're quite handy dancers).

We have City of God to watch this week.

*******
And boy, it was foggy for much of the weekend...

Public Address | Younger Brother speaks his mind!

Way to go Younger Brother!

Public Address | Speaker

The Onion | Neverland Ranch Investigators Discover Corpse Of Real Michael Jackson

I know it's a cliche to link the Onion....

The Onion | Neverland Ranch Investigators Discover Corpse Of Real Michael Jackson

Canine Politics

I remember seeing (not that long ago) a Footrot Flats cartoon with the dog walking along, thinking about his place in the local canine pecking order. If I could find it online, I'd link to it.

Essentially, he was lower than everyone in the neighbourhood, except for prince Charles the corgi. And as he went through the list of a dozen or so dogs, including someone's Cavalier King Charles Spaniel... his head got lower & lower... until he came to Prince Charles, when he perked up again & gave the corgi a bollocking.

And this came to mind again yesterday as I watched the social pecking order at Magpie Lawn being decided, and then maintained...

The dogs were running around as usual, Wilma was playing tug of War with Havoc, the mad Staffordshire Terrier.

Havoc meanwhile, was being harried from the rear (if you get my drift) by Sam the Spoodle. Havoc stopped now & then to growl at Sam, but that didn't stop him for long.

Finally, Havoc broke off the play, and very severely put Sam in his place. He didn't actually bite the spoodle, but it did look quite nasty, and Sam was completely traumatised, lying on his back, whimpering with his tail between his legs.

Havoc was pulled off him & went back to play, more hyperactive than ever.

Wilma didn't seem the least bit bothered by this.

the other dogs on the lawn were Barney & Mitch. Barney looks just like the Tramp, from the Lady & the Tramp, and he was the only other male dog on the lawn besides Sam & Havoc.

The weird thing was, after Havoc gave Sam the bollocking, he ignored him. However, the incident had plainly signalled to Barney that Sam was the lowest of the low & he began - there is no other word really - to bully Sam. Just, I think, to make it clear who was boss.

Wilma & Mitch just ignored Sam. And it occured to me that Wilma always does, she's neither antagonistic (as she is to one or two dogs), nor scared (as she is by one neighbouring boxer, who as far as I know, has never done anything to warrant it), nor friendly with him.

Must be a girl thing.

SunnyO: Wilma & friends at the Lawn

A tale of two sportsmen

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Since I'm at it - one more wart

Electricity suppliers (especially their billing, field & financial services manager) who write serial letters complaining that they do not have access to our meter & that they first notified me of this in April last year, and we'll have to arrange a special visit which they will charge us for.

And so my response will be along the lines of:

Dear power supplier (their letter is addressed to "Dear Customer")

If you're not using the key that I sent you last April, which your contact centre acknowledged the receipt of by telephone at the time, then please return it, or we will be billing you for changing all the very expensive locks (3) accessed by that key.

Furthermore, at some stage this year we will be moving the electricity meter outside, at this stage we most definitely will require the return of our key, so I do hope you've taken very good care of it. Until this time, if you continue to show reluctance to actually use our key, I will endeavour to take the metre reading myself & leave it on a post-it note on the front door. If any special visits are required, they will be at your expense not ours.

Yours


Customer.

Warts on the backside of humanity

In no particular order:

Architects
Builders
Real Estate Agents
House buyers

No particular reasons. As George Michael said (of the cop who arrested him in a public toilet, and who later sued Michael for defamation - when the video to the song "Outside", which featured graphic scenes of cops making out together - was dedicated to him.)

A minor irritation....

(Apologies to any architects, builders, real estate agents, or house buyers... it's nothing personal.)

Oh man... wouldn't this be cool?

STUFF - STORY - Army Tank Discovered in Garden

Wilma & friends at the Lawn

The best times at the lawn are when some of Wilma's doggy pals turn up & she gets the chance to play chase. She is the best at being chased... she dodges round obstacles, sidesteps, hides, and just hares away with as many as 10 dogs in hot pursuit. If the other dogs get tired of the game, she will taunt them with the ball, or rope, until they take up the chase again...

This is Havoc playing tug of war here, he's one of her best pals... although without a rope, or ball to focus on, he can be a bit nippy. Sam the Spoodle (WTF??) is in the rear. He's one of those "intact" dogs who embarrasses his owner by trying it on with pretty much any dog in sight. Except, for some reason, Wilma.  I think she might have beaten him up early on over it.

Wilma at the lawn...

While T usually takes Wilma out for her morning walk, there are occasions when the privilege falls on me. We've noticed that if both of us come downstairs at the same time in the morning, Wilma can somehow tell from our behaviour which one of us is on duty. She then leaps around that person & pretty much ignores the other.

We will attempt to fool her, but I suspect that it won't be easy....

The weekend...

The wedding on Friday was excellent. It was at the Boatshed, which is always a good venue for a party. While it was still light we lolled on the verandah & watched stingrays skate around the lagoon.

The ceremony was short & simple, we were serenaded by four guys harmonising (brilliantly) songs in English & Tokolauan. There was a slight gremlin, when the sound system failed to play the designated "Here comes the Bride" music, and the singers were put on the spot to come up with something appropriate... then the PA coughed into life & the lovely bride bopped in to the always appropriate "Weapon of Choice" by Fatboy Slim.

Joke... it was some duet by Barbra Streisand & someone else... can't remember...

The food was excellent, the company engaging. The speeches... well... the highlights were the groom's cockney father telling a series of vignettes that all ended with "... and so I smacked 'im in the 'ead". Hilarious! And the father of the bride starting to tell stories of the stag night & the strippers "Careful Rich", the best man wisely advised....". I so didn't need to know the bride's father enjoyed a lapdance...

We partied till the small hours.

Saturday came (quite late). My Saturday night alone was STILL in jeopardy at this stage. T was still going to party with her sisters, but camp was off & there was a chance I'd have not just M at home, but also I might be babysitting her younger cousin as well.

But as happens to many last minute changes of plans... the cousin had by now made other plans, and M stayed overnight at her friend's. I did have to fend off last minute exhortations for me to attend a barbecue at the friend's house too. Fortunately, by that stage I was half way through painting our lounge & could justifiably beg off attending. Also... Wilma stayed with me, so I had some company anyway.

And yes! I spent the afternoon painting over the hideous dark red & black floral wallpaper that adorned the top half of our lounge, including half the ceiling (the bottom half is painted wood panelling & needs a bit more restoration before that gets done). By the time T got home about 5pm the next day, I had two coats on & we decided it wouldn't need another one. It is a resene colour called Blanc, and it is so much lighter than it was before. The wood panelling will be painted a colour called Tea, and there is a small shelf that runs around the top of it, which will probably be a dark colour called Diesel.

Which brings me to the in-house entertainment for the evening... on the dogwalk, Wilma & I swung by the local DVD store & picked up The Chronicles of Riddick, and on a sudden whim... Porn Star, the Legend of Ron Jeremy. As always happens when I'm renting a slightly dodgy sounding film, Porn Star wasn't in the documentary section & I had to go & ask for it. In front of half a dozen customers who are also neighbours. They had it in the drama section...

So... Porn Star... Ron Jeremy is this fat, hairy, pig nicknamed "The Hedgehog" who has made his career in the adult film industry (there is a hilarious bit where some hot adult film actress has just been told who she's working with & she just guffaws, and says "I told you already, I'm not having sex with that fat, hairy, fucking pig!" Go girl, I was thinking.) The documentary was pretty boring really, too many frat-house appearances where fat, nerdy, drunken frat boys swoon over the guy.

Al "Grandpa Munster" Lewis was one of the talking heads interviewed...

Oh... and Ron sports a heroic endowment & despite being grossly fat, is limber enough to perform an unnatural act upon himself. Actually, when you hear the term "70s porn star moustache" I think this is the guy who is being referenced.

He also craves a mainstream acting career, and can actually be seen in many real movies (for instance, Killing Zoe), getting swiftly killed in a variety of manners (the best was a Troma film, where a mutant thrust a large crucifix through his mouth & out the back of his head).

So that was Ron Jeremy...

The Chronicles of Riddick was OK, kept me awake. There were some technical problems with the DVD & I missed a few sequences in the middle of the film. It's Vin Diesel of course, reprising the character from Pitch Black. In this instance, he's (not very) evil, fighting evil, saving the universe from some very unsinister villains.

Along for the ride are Dame Judy Dench, playing a CG effect, the lovely, but under-used Thandie Newton, playing Lady MacBeth, and our very own Karl Urban, playing a cut rate MacBeth to Thandie.

The whole thing has an air of CG tosh, cut-rate Star Trek about it. But I mean, it's OK. Vin is decent in it.

It was back to family fare on Sunday, we watched the first half of The Prince & Me, which is the ever watchable Julia Stiles doing Cinderella. And later, we started to watch In the Cut, which is a thriller directed by Jane Campion, with Meg Ryan & Mark Ruffalo, and some surprisingly explicit sex scenes... (not so far, involving either of the stars). I suspect that Stiles doing Cinderella will be the better of the two films.

Northern Lights

A few years ago, I gave M a copy of Phillip Pullman's Northern Lights. But it was too soon & after a few pages it got shelved...

Recently it came back with a vengeance, & M devoured it one weekend so that I've had to supplement it with the sequels.

It got pressed onto me last week, and I have to say it's pretty good.

The story of Lyra, a troublesome young girl, and her personal daemon... um... Pantyliner or something... trying to save her father, the exiled Lord Asriel, and evade the clutches of the evil Mrs Coulter who is causing children to disappear all over the country, for some nefarious purpose...

I wouldn't say it's as good as The Lord of the Rings as some have (you might argue though).

And the Evil Mrs Coulter has more than a touch of the Cruella De Villes about her... the daemons are cute though.

But I'll have finished it this weekend & am looking forward to the next one in the series.

Hmm... I just read that the whole trilogy is a reworking of Paradise Lost.... I hadn't picked that up. Maybe it becomes clearer later...

My Night Alone...

Well it has come to pass... after plans changed about 5 times this week, it does look like I'll have a night in alone for the first time in years, on Saturday night.

M has been packed off to school with enough camping gear to keep her alive for weeks, just for Saturday night...

T & I are going to a wedding this afternoon & evening, so M will be staying at her friend's place tonight.

T hikes off to SunnyO on Saturday afternoon to spend some quality time with a few of her myriad sisters... she's taking Wilma even! It'll be me & the cats.

And since I was unable to locate an already unrented wood-chipper to keep me occupied (they all seem to be on long term rental at the moment!)... I'll be painting the hideous wallpaper in our lounge instead.

Not sure what the in-house movie will be... I haven't checked what's on SKY, so it may be a last minute decision at the video store. Chances are it won't be entirely family friendly...

MiramarMike: Wot a night!

Heck stole this from Fark...

And gave it to caroline...

And I stole it from caroline because it deserves to be seen...

Man in Alaska turns on sprinklers...

adn.com | alaska : Tower of ice

Duke catches up with the news about Hunter S Thompson

Our newspapers seem to be a day ahead of the website... tune in tomorrow for what is causing the karmic shift...

Doonesbury@Slate - Daily Dose

Popular and Competent Prime Minister

The PM has a blog! Apparently....

Popular and Competent Prime Minister

Well... since I did actually see a sheep in the weekend...

...and I do remember when Patty Duke was twins... and not just Sam Gamgee's mother...

STUFF : ENTERTAINMENT : TV - STORY : It's Hard Yakka Down on the Farm

The Best Laid Plans

Well despite my proclamation... no woodchopping was done this weekend. We didn't go up the line till Saturday morning, had a quiet Friday night in instead. This allowed M the chance to attend her school picnic in the Bot Gardens.

Then we watched Calamity Jane... and really, this sort of movie has not aged well. Although... Doris Day was certainly a hottie, but her kind of acting would surely play better off a broadway stage. She's stiff. Oddly enough, we all agreed that Howard Keel was surprisingly animated as Wild Bill Hickock. We may have to tune into Deadwood to see how that show portrays Hickock & Calamity. Differently, I bet.

Also... "Whipcrackaway" is possibly the most ludicrous song ever written.

And the girls were sceptical... as they often are about my little theories on what a movie is "really about" (The Matrix BTW, is about sunglasses) but there is a gay subtext ("secret love"?) a mile wide in Calamity Jane. (Even more noticeable than the psychedelic drug subtext that underpins Mary Poppins, but that's for another blog...). Double entendre abounds, from what it takes to get Jane out of those dusty old (and probably Edith head designed & tailored) deerskin outfits (the chance to wear a pretty yellow dress and show off her "heavy artillery" does it pretty easily actually). To a poor guy who has to dress up in drag & entertain the cowpokes.... I mean really....

At Sunnyo, the order of the day was clearing up debris from previous projects. And I reassembled my partly built compost bays & toted a couple of cubic metres of horse dung, sawdust & zoo doo (the last was a Christmas present from family - nothing it seems, says I love you, like a few cubic metres of endangered animal shit). I have the sides of two more compost bays to construct, and then some slat doors for the front. And I'll have a compost processing area bigger'n'texas.

That's not true actually. The biggest compost processing area in all of New Zealand, if not the world, is right next door to SunnyO & is owned & presided over by Master Tim. He can back a truck full of horse manure into & out of it. And he visits the local race-course to get it (if he gets too much to process, he generously dumps the overflow at our place... I guess in most places having the neighbours dump trailer loads of animal faeces on your back lawn wouldn't be so welcome...).

It's all starting to come together up there.

Next weekend my plans may have to change too. It seems a couple of T's sisters (there are 5 in all) & a sister-in-law have asked if they can stay at Sunny O. T's decided she'll go with them. So M & I started planning our Saturday night menu (I see a New York cut steak in my future...) and entertainment (possibly Underworld, possibly Poltergeist - M's on a scary movie kick & I recall seeing Poltergeist many years ago & expecting to have a bit of a laugh at the lame scares... and I actually chewed through the jacket I took with me, it so spooked me... and I taped it off Sky the other night in preparation... it's only PG rated).

But then someone remembered that Tennis Club are having a camp next weekend. Yes, that's with tents & sleeping bags & things. Obviously T won't be going... and there was some suggestion that I should attend. But really, I'd rather have a testicle removed than do a multi-family tenting holiday in Wainuiomata.... so M can go camping with her friends, & I'll revise my Saturday night schedule (an even thicker steak, and possibly Bowling for Columbine, or Farenheit 9/11, I have yet to see either...).

All this may have consequences for the mulching plans... I may not have a car to go get the mulching machine. I daresay I'll think of something...

Not that anyone asked...

Or is even interested probably...

But this weekend I'll be attempting to sweat my cold out by chopping & stacking firewood.

Which is nowhere near as interesting as cutting the tree down in the first place. But the Husky 45 stays home this weekend! And I do like a large, neat stack of firewood.

NB: Slightly related, next weekend, I'll be hiring a mulcher & clearing the bombsite that is our front garden, and creating a pile of... mulch.

So... there are these two old ladies...

Upstairs in a certain shopping Arcade in Lambton Quay.

And they're both talking on cellphones, but they're around the corner from each other & can't see the other.

Old Lady 1: "Which cafe do you mean? Upstairs or downstairs?"
Old Lady 2: "Upstairs, I'm waiting here for you now."
Old Lady 1: "Well I'm upstairs, and I'm at the cafe, but I can't see you."

etc...

And like, if they reached out towards the corner, they could hold hands, they're that close.

So helpfully, I caught the eye of Old Lady 2, and pointed round the corner... cue much Old Lady laughter...

Come, Feel the noise

Nice blog from Graham Reid about his noisy neighbours...

I used to have a flatmate who woke us at all hours as she enthusiastically entertained her boyfriend... he was NZ's Chunder Mile champion & she met him at Victoria University's Naked Jug competition. She liked the cut of his jib.

Another flatmate asked her if she could maybe tone the noise down for a few night's because her mother was visiting... she hit record levels on those nights.

I've always considered there's a good case for arming noise control officers... give them a license to kill.

Public Address | Random Play

A.Word.A.Day -- bibacious

I sense a theme developing....

A.Word.A.Day -- bibacious

God Mispelled My Name

A few years back I wrote a letter to the editor railing about the Society for the Promotion of Community Standards trying to get a film banned (the lovely, Y Tu Mama Tambien). In return, I got a letter from God.

No kidding. THE Actual God. Apparently. Disappointingly, not only did God spell my name wrong on the envelope, it was also just a form letter, probably sent to all the sinners (I knew it was because of my published suggestion that the SPCS go burn some books instead of banning films, because the section titled "Pornography & Filth" was highlighted.). I did not feel special. Except that God must have personally delivered it, because it was a recycled envelope. God was in my neighbourhood. Briefly. Before he caught the bus home perhaps - just a stranger on the bus...

You see, God lives in Island Bay, as far as I could make out from the letter. His earthly name is Mariah Seven & he is married to Babette (who suffers from depression, but is a bit better now she gets medication). God however, is not in the phone book, or I would have replied.

Actually, God should get a blog, I could have just linked to him instead of typing all this stuff out.

And so... for your edification... for the sake of your mortal souls even... here are some excerpts from "a fraction of the facts in the Testimony of Mr Mariah Seven and Mrs Babette Seven." It is not all bad. Some good advice even...

"In the beginning, the Heavenly Planet was created by God for Himself and His Wife & Children..."

"...Incidentally, we are both Pakeha. We find Maoris very spiritual but they need to be brought into the 21st century. As this happens, the crime rate among them will go down and so will drinking and smoking we hope."

"We have no wish to change Christmas, but for those interested, Jesus was born on the 27th of October."

"About smacking children - the indignity of a mild smacking may help the situation. If the little buggers threaten to leave home rush out and buy them a suitcase before your luck changes..."

"Regarding the family - it is much better to have a good quality of life for two, three or four children than to give continual birth like cats or dogs. For those parents who talk of abstaining, whata miserable and unnatural life and anyway, I can assure you long suffering ladies that your partner is not abstaining. He is making whoopee with women who are on the pill or maybe he is trying to catch AIDS. By the way parents, teach your children that a bit more kindness to animals would not go amiss.

"Solhannan - The Capital City of the Heavenly Kingdom is called Solhannan. it is also the name of our spaceship which is based in the Sun. We also have 3 Scouters..."

"I personally apologise to all those who have been persecuted by the Church. I also apologise to all those who are still being persecuted by certain Church ministers. I intend to keep on doing something about it."

"If one must engage in a bit of stray, use a good condom, thus avoiding the plague Syphilis."

"DO NOT APPROACH US EXCEPT TO SAY HELLO OR THE LIKE."

"It may be of interest to many people to know that the Star of Bethlehem was one of our 3 Scouter ships."

"In case some folk want to know why Jesus only had men for disciples, well in those days no self respecting girl would be seen running around with a gang of rough men. jesus was always dignified, but some of His disciples were a bit on the rough side."

"... a lover is a man who is in love not some creep who's (sic) testicles are dropping off with over-use and/or some disease. Plan your children, there are too many unhappy accidents in this world, but if you don't want children discuss it together before marriage. A little family is nice though."

"Outdoors - Now don't expect people to be covered from head to toe at the beach etc. But if you only realised that you don't look very respectable with your breasts dangling and your bottoms hanging out. What is wrong with a pretty and reasonably modest outfit! I can tell you all that you won't be prancing in the nude on Seven, and you won't be sharing it all out either. Some of your hairstyles would even shock Jezebel and she was hard to shock."

"Revelations, Holy Bible. No child is raised for destruction. Therefore, the false prophet is a life like male Robot with an advanced and evil computer brain. His holiness the anti-Christ manipulates the Robot and he calls it God. and gives it orders to kill the enemies of the papal regime. In those days very shortly after 2000 AD pray to God in His Son's Name of Jesus that the evil Robot computer will not attach itself to you."

"A good home is a mum and/or dad, mostly being home to look after and become a companion to their little ones. But for goodness sake parent/s, don't soak their brains in religion, as there are some pretty queer religions doing the rounds."

"Yuk and Vomit - I have been reading through many menus, and I have found the most disgusting of eats advertised. Pig, Maggots, Grubs, dead Seagulls, offal, Opossums, Snakes, Rats, Bats, Kangaroos, some seafoods, Bugs, Dogs, Cats and much more. And when you go down with some mystery or known sickness, I suppose you will expect me to "zap" you better. Try a pot of mixed boiled vegetables, instead of all this cafe and hotel muck. Some places however, do put on a good meal. Try and get out of the habit of giving your kids dyed water and fatty rubbish for their school lunch. What's wrong with soup and a couple of sandwiches for them. As for you Maoris and Islanders try to stop sucking on bottles of alcohol like Pakehas do. Alcohol never got the white race anywhere, and grog for the dark races is a tragedy. Wake up people, and eat simple yet good food. Some menus make me gag, but if one is starving they are excused. - God"

So there you are. A fraction of the fraction of the facts in the Testimony of Mr Mariah Seven & Mrs Babette Seven.

As communicated to me, personally, by God.

SPOILER ALERT!! Who has seen Before Sunset?

Caroline@Trivial Pursuit & I are in disagreement about how it ends.

What do you reckon?

Please spoil away in the comments section - avoid if you haven't seen it yet, although as you can probably guess, the answer may be subjective - until the next movie tells us for sure.

Your submission does not take place in a jungle

Anything on McSweeney's is usually worth reading. Their guidelines for submissions are no exception...

Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Guidelines for Web Submissions

A.Word.A.Day -- ebrious

A.Word.A.Day -- ebrious

I think maybe I just relate....

Hunter S Thompson = Deep Throat Update

Vern's site is now online again...

Then fuck you, jack: The Life and Art of vern

And for a followup...

Cripes... what sort of a Welshman am I forgetting...

Happy birthday Liz!

MiramarMike: Happy St David's Day

Nice flag Mike...