Tuesday, August 23, 2005

For Barbecue Tools

One of the great pleasures of this time of year is that the outdoor & lifestyle shops start to display the new season's barbecues & accessories.

I likes my barbecues. I have lots of them. Entire sheds built to store them over Winter even.

But one thing you won't find me sporting is this vile designer monstrosity I came across today: The Grillslinger for Barbecue Tools.

Barbecue tools & their GrillslingersMuch like gas barbecues are for Barbecue Pussies, the Grillslinger is for Barbecue Tools.

Barbecue Tools are the kind of guys (for they are always guys) who like to break the barbecue ice by wearing aprons with breasts printed on them. Or a nice pithy "Shag the Chef".

Real Barbecue Connoisseurs do not wear aprons. And they do not wear poncy barbecue tool belts. And they barbecue on hot coals (bonus points if you've flamed up the charred carcass of your last meal) which have been burning for several hours while the chef drinks & socialises (and smokes, if so inclined, there's nothing like adding to the general smokiness of a barbecue, with more smoke). Accessories allowed are: A spatula, tongs, wire brush for cleaning afterwards.

It pains me a little, that I actually know one of these guys vaguely. I don't know if I'll be able to shake the image in my mind of the Logan Brown chef out the back wearing his Grillslinger.

Still - local product. Might be a worthwhile buy if you know a Barbecue Tool. Add let's face it, who doesn't?